famke Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Hello people, So I'm single now for about 2 years and I would want to date guys again. This weekend I was just hanging around with a friend and talking about guys. I told her that I liked a guy she might know, because he lived in the same small town she does. I didn't even ever talk to this guy. I only knew his name and face, because I saw him a couple times and checked out his facebookaccount. Turns out: my friend knew the guy pretty well, and had his phonenumber. After a couple drinks, I said to my friend that she should text the guy. She send him the follow text: Hello! Are you still single? I might know a nice blind date for you! I know a girl who likes you. He answered: who is she? name? age? My friend texted: (name), (age) etc. He: Oh that's nice. So how does she know me? My friend: She only knows you by sight. I guess you made an impression. He: haha, I;m lucky. But know I have to find out who she is ofcourse. .......And then the text-conversation was over.. So, know I don't feel good about this converstion. 1. I think I came across desperate and look like a stalker. 2. The conversation is now dead, so no result or anything. What do you think, was this action desperate or just sweet and innocent? I do want a date with this guy but I don;t have the guts to really ask him out. Should I? Or is it the turn to him to ask my on a date or even just ask my number...? haha this shounds like highschooldrama, but I really want to know you opinions. Be honest thanks!
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I would get his number from your friend, and then text him yourself, "Hey this is "famke", are you free sometime next week? I got your number from so-and-so. Let's meet up for lunch :love:" Don't be too hung up about it. You don't even know him. He'll say yes or no. If he says yes, hooray. If not, oh well. You have nothing to lose.
Rinnix Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 If anything he will just be flattered that he got your attention by just a glimpse. Perhaps get his number and get to know him, then be sure to ask him for a date.
Author famke Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 So you guys suggest I get his phonenumber and text him myself? Isn't it his turn after the text of my friend? I know i sounds silly, but I just don't want to text him myself, because he does'nt know me... It would come across as stalking or desperate.. I think..
Rinnix Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 You can play the waiting game, or you can take the initiative and get his number. That is your choice. I always thought that these expectations were more for those in highschool though. When I have interest, I go for it.
Sunstar Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) What do you think, was this action desperate or just sweet and innocent? I do want a date with this guy but I don;t have the guts to really ask him out. Should I? Or is it the turn to him to ask my on a date or even just ask my number...? Don't sweat it, this doesn't look desperate at all. My take on this is that he didn't want to accept the date or decline the date without actually knowing if he would find you attractive. Because suppose he accepted and it would turn out he didn't find you attractive, then he'd had to go on a blind date only to reject you. My guess is that he wants to prevent the situation where he'd have to directly reject you. That's why he said he first wanted to know who you were and that's probably also why the texting conversation stopped at that point. So he first wants to find out if he's attracted to you and decide from there. (to prevent a rejection date) What you can do for example is send him a Facebook message and/or friend request, so that he can get an idea of how you look. (by looking at the photo's in your photo album) Men are (initially) fairly visually oriented in this regard. If he after that decides to go on a date with you, then he's quite probably physically attracted to you. PS: Overigens leuk om hier een andere Nederlander tegen te komen. Edited May 10, 2011 by Sunstar
guy777 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Wow, can your friend pour it on a little thicker??? Why didn't she tell him. "I know this girl that I think you might really like, cute successful, nice, the whole package. She has a lot of guys chasing her but she doesn't really let them get anywhere because she's particular about what she's looking for. Definitely not the party girl type. Here is her photo and number. If you don't call her for a date, you are an idiot." That's kind of a lot for text, but if she really wanted it to happen more smoothly, I think that approach would have been better. Does she really want you to get together with him? I have to wonder the way she handled it. So, you can still text him to meet him for lunch as suggested above, no problem. But if you want to have fun at this point, maybe do this. Don't send him a picture ahead of time. Just say you won't be disappointed, but I'm not sending pictures around since I'm approaching you, meet me if you want, or don't, no biggie. If he agrees, tell him to meet you at a very specific location where he has to get out of his car, but be very specific. Then when he gets there, call him from a distance away and play with him for about a minute. Say how you can see him but he can't see you. That would be fun and get things off on the right note. Don't make him twist too long, but 30 secs to a minute would be cool. A girl did that to me on a blind date once and we wound up having a good time. We dated for about a year.
refurb Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I don't think it looks desperate. Lots of guys chat about girls and look to meet girls through friends. I don't think I'd text him without meeting him first. Have your friend host a social event where you both get invited. RF
musemaj11 Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Wow, can your friend pour it on a little thicker??? Why didn't she tell him. "I know this girl that I think you might really like, cute successful, nice, the whole package. She has a lot of guys chasing her but she doesn't really let them get anywhere because she's particular about what she's looking for. Definitely not the party girl type. Here is her photo and number. If you don't call her for a date, you are an idiot." That's kind of a lot for text, but if she really wanted it to happen more smoothly, I think that approach would have been better. Does she really want you to get together with him? I have to wonder the way she handled it. So, you can still text him to meet him for lunch as suggested above, no problem. But if you want to have fun at this point, maybe do this. Don't send him a picture ahead of time. Just say you won't be disappointed, but I'm not sending pictures around since I'm approaching you, meet me if you want, or don't, no biggie. If he agrees, tell him to meet you at a very specific location where he has to get out of his car, but be very specific. Then when he gets there, call him from a distance away and play with him for about a minute. Say how you can see him but he can't see you. That would be fun and get things off on the right note. Don't make him twist too long, but 30 secs to a minute would be cool. A girl did that to me on a blind date once and we wound up having a good time. We dated for about a year. Don't follow this advice if u don't wanna look like a fool.
orangelady Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Don't sweat it, this doesn't look desperate at all. It wouldn't look desperate if he finds you attractive. It would look desperate if he wasn't attracted to you. All the best.
Author famke Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 So he doesnt know you? Lol Yeah, He doesn't know me. But I'm pretty sure he googled me, found some pictures. I mean, I would do that... everybody would do that right?
Author famke Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 I don't think it looks desperate. Lots of guys chat about girls and look to meet girls through friends. I don't think I'd text him without meeting him first. Have your friend host a social event where you both get invited. RF Good point...
Author famke Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 Don't sweat it, this doesn't look desperate at all. My take on this is that he didn't want to accept the date or decline the date without actually knowing if he would find you attractive. Because suppose he accepted and it would turn out he didn't find you attractive, then he'd had to go on a blind date only to reject you. My guess is that he wants to prevent the situation where he'd have to directly reject you. That's why he said he first wanted to know who you were and that's probably also why the texting conversation stopped at that point. So he first wants to find out if he's attracted to you and decide from there. (to prevent a rejection date) What you can do for example is send him a Facebook message and/or friend request, so that he can get an idea of how you look. (by looking at the photo's in your photo album) Men are (initially) fairly visually oriented in this regard. If he after that decides to go on a date with you, then he's quite probably physically attracted to you. PS: Overigens leuk om hier een andere Nederlander tegen te komen. Hallo nederlander I was thinking about that... But the thing is. He knew my name and surname from the text so he might google me right? He would find pictures if he googled me. He has a facebookaccount, I have a hyves-account. haha. So that is a little problem. Im sure not gonna make a facebookaccount know because I can contact him then. haha drama drama But I do think you're right about the rejection date. Makes sense. I don't wanna text him myself because that would come across weird when my friend texted him first that I liked him. And then I'm texting him... then he would know that I made my friend text him. Now it seems like my friend suggested we'd have a blind date.
Author famke Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 Wow, can your friend pour it on a little thicker??? Why didn't she tell him. "I know this girl that I think you might really like, cute successful, nice, the whole package. She has a lot of guys chasing her but she doesn't really let them get anywhere because she's particular about what she's looking for. Definitely not the party girl type. Here is her photo and number. If you don't call her for a date, you are an idiot." That's kind of a lot for text, but if she really wanted it to happen more smoothly, I think that approach would have been better. Does she really want you to get together with him? I have to wonder the way she handled it. Haha, I was thinking the same thing. I didn't like the way my friend texted him either. But she is really direct, and I don't wanna be a nag and tell her to text him before she texts him. She has other things on her mind too. That approach would be much better yeah... but ow well. So, you can still text him to meet him for lunch as suggested above, no problem. But if you want to have fun at this point, maybe do this. Don't send him a picture ahead of time. Just say you won't be disappointed, but I'm not sending pictures around since I'm approaching you, meet me if you want, or don't, no biggie. If he agrees, tell him to meet you at a very specific location where he has to get out of his car, but be very specific. Then when he gets there, call him from a distance away and play with him for about a minute. Say how you can see him but he can't see you. That would be fun and get things off on the right note. Don't make him twist too long, but 30 secs to a minute would be cool. A girl did that to me on a blind date once and we wound up having a good time. We dated for about a year. That's nice, but I'm way too shy to do that.
Sunstar Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 (edited) Hallo nederlander I was thinking about that... But the thing is. He knew my name and surname from the text so he might google me right? He would find pictures if he googled me. He has a facebookaccount, I have a hyves-account. haha. So that is a little problem. Im sure not gonna make a facebookaccount know because I can contact him then. haha drama drama But I do think you're right about the rejection date. Makes sense. I don't wanna text him myself because that would come across weird when my friend texted him first that I liked him. And then I'm texting him... then he would know that I made my friend text him. Now it seems like my friend suggested we'd have a blind date. What about letting your friend text him the link to your Hyves page and your e-mail address and/or phone number? That should accomplish the same result as the Facebook idea. After all, they communicated first and he asked her who you were, so it would make sense that way. All it takes is one text message with those two or three things. The question then remains though, will he contact you. Even if he thinks you're attractive, then there could be so many reasons why he might not contact you after all. For all you know he could have a crush on another girl, so don't feel bad if he doesn't contact you, it doesn't necessarily have to mean he doesn't find you attractive. Edited May 11, 2011 by Sunstar
Author famke Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 What about letting your friend text him the link to your Hyves page and your e-mail address and/or phone number? That should accomplish the same result as the Facebook idea. After all, they communicated first and he asked her who you were, so it would make sense that way. All it takes is one text message with those two or three things. The question then remains though, will he contact you. Even if he thinks you're attractive, then there could be so many reasons why he might not contact you after all. For all you know he could have a crush on another girl, so don't feel bad if he doesn't contact you, it doesn't necessarily have to mean he doesn't find you attractive. Yeah, I'm not really worried about him not contacting me. If he doesn't then it's his business. I don't think I'm really ugly so I won't have selfesteem problems Anyway, I texted my friend saying she should text him the following: "Maybe I should give you her number or email so you guys could talk together" So... I'll just wait and see.. I've got the feeling my friend isn't really in to this matchmaking thing But I'll just wait and see what happens. I really don't feel like texting him myself. She has to do the dirty work for me.
Skump Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 I would get his number from your friend, and then text him yourself, "Hey this is "famke", are you free sometime next week? I got your number from so-and-so. Let's meet up for lunch :love:" Don't be too hung up about it. You don't even know him. He'll say yes or no. If he says yes, hooray. If not, oh well. You have nothing to lose. Yeah, this is correct. Guys don't give a damn about details like who texted whom first... meaningless to men. If he's seriously interested in meeting you, he'll take you up on the offer. If not, he wouldn't have bothered texting you, anyway.
TuffCookieX Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Yeah, I'm not really worried about him not contacting me. If he doesn't then it's his business. I don't think I'm really ugly so I won't have selfesteem problems Anyway, I texted my friend saying she should text him the following: "Maybe I should give you her number or email so you guys could talk together" So... I'll just wait and see.. I've got the feeling my friend isn't really in to this matchmaking thing But I'll just wait and see what happens. I really don't feel like texting him myself. She has to do the dirty work for me. You don't look very confident when you keep relying on a middle man who doesn't seem enthused about helping you out. Just get his number from her and say "hey, it's famke, it's probably easier if we stop communicating through someone else" I know you don't feel like texting him but if you really want this to work, you need to take more action.
Author famke Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 You don't look very confident when you keep relying on a middle man who doesn't seem enthused about helping you out. Just get his number from her and say "hey, it's famke, it's probably easier if we stop communicating through someone else" I know you don't feel like texting him but if you really want this to work, you need to take more action. you're right but I'm just a little fed up with the situation. Because my friend texted him it seemed like he didn't know that I liked him. If I text him myself then he'll know that I was after the whole thing. And because he didn't know who I am, it seemed stupid. That's why I wanted my friend to give him my number, so he could text me himself. well, you get. My friend ignores me know, I don't think she has done anything. I think I'll just let it rest for a few days and maybe text him myself next week or something. Maybe it's different for guys, but I would find it really weird when some guy I don't even know starts texting me.
AstroZombie138 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 This is one of the most ridiculous threads on the internet.
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