Sassygirl2 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Unbelievable. Has anyone had this happen 3 weeks after you get dumped? I know there is nothing I can do but it unbelievably hurts to see him on there and he posted recent pictures that I took of him! I am in shock. I am angry. I am having a really hard time focusing on what I need to do at work and at home. I know life goes on. I know this crap happens. It's just really hard to get it out of my mind. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.....
Katt22 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 The same thing happened to me less than two weeks after he dumped me. Honestly I felt like I had lost my mind, I was so full of rage and hurt and sadness. Any guy who does that is clearly just looking for mindless hookups and is a complete tool. I know this hurts, for me it kinda almost felt like breaking up again. I suggest you take your profile off it and just not look at it. Thats nothing you want to see and it will just bring you down. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Hang in there, that guy is clearly a jerk!
dng Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 You're on match.com too then, no? Life goes on, life is great, life sucks, ups and downs. Try to take it in stride. Its a huge shock to your system but eventually you'll get better, once you get back onto your feet. In the meantime, shields up, NC.
Author Sassygirl2 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 Thanks Kat22 and dng. I am not on the site as an active profile. I just wanted to see if he was on there so I did a free search in my area. Amazing isn't it? How people can just move on like that. I wish him luck cause he's gonna need it!
Ghosst Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 My ex was on the dating site we met from the day after I broke things off with him this last time (it's complicated, he broke up with me first and then we reconciled a number of times). When I asked him about it later, he admitted that he was only doing it because he wanted to hurt me. He is now in a relationship with someone new, even though only a month ago he spent the evening telling me how much he loved me, thinks about me every single day and wanted to marry me. I have to say I am glad he is in a relationship because I do not have to see his face pop up every time I log on to check my messages. Seeing him was there was a weird kind of pain.....seeing him hurt but at least I knew he was single. Now I just wonder how he could be dating her even after his admissions. You should try a different site, and try not to hurt yourself more by viewing his profile....definitely more easily said than done.
nyc_guy2003 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I have a friend who broke off his engagement with his fiancee, holed himself up in his apartment for a week, and then got back onto match.com. If that guy can rebound that quickly, I don't see why other guys can't.
Author Sassygirl2 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 I have a friend who broke off his engagement with his fiancee, holed himself up in his apartment for a week, and then got back onto match.com. If that guy can rebound that quickly, I don't see why other guys can't. But do you think that they are still hurting and it's just a way for them to deal with the pain and move on? Or do you think some guys can just turn off the feelings?
dreamingoftigers Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Hi I saw that you contacted me and I have been pondering your situation (while trying to destress from my own, ha!) I think it is really weird how he just broke it off so quick and then outright decided to move on. Most relationships get a mulligan.... I think maybe he just is a once bitten kind of guy. If he had a major divorce, he just might not get so committed anymore. I find it awful that you both were talking about blending the families just before that happened. Perhaps that what made him high-tail it in itself. I could totally see that, the slightest thing could have set him considering your circumstance. I would get rid of the dog, even if it is to him. You do get over pets and if it just isn't in the stress or financial cards, them's the breaks. I had to do that and it sucked. But you come around from it. I wish I had a little more help to offer. Will go back and ponder. You are staying NC, right?
Author Sassygirl2 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 Hi I saw that you contacted me and I have been pondering your situation (while trying to destress from my own, ha!) I think it is really weird how he just broke it off so quick and then outright decided to move on. Most relationships get a mulligan.... I think maybe he just is a once bitten kind of guy. If he had a major divorce, he just might not get so committed anymore. I find it awful that you both were talking about blending the families just before that happened. Perhaps that what made him high-tail it in itself. I could totally see that, the slightest thing could have set him considering your circumstance. I would get rid of the dog, even if it is to him. You do get over pets and if it just isn't in the stress or financial cards, them's the breaks. I had to do that and it sucked. But you come around from it. I wish I had a little more help to offer. Will go back and ponder. You are staying NC, right? Thanks for responding DOT. I would call it LC. We've talked/texted once or twice in the last week about the dog and that was about it. At this point I don't even care anymore. This just blew me out of the water. There is no going back for me now even if things were to work out in the future. He did have a very painful divorce but never shared it with me. Just that he "spent a lot of money to get rid of that woman". Funny thing is she is already re-married. And seems to a nice guy at that! Who knows what happened in their marriage. Apparently I reminded him of some part of it that he doesn't want to repeat. I thought what we had was good up until the fighting. I wasn't happy either and I see that now. I would have tried to work things out though. That's how I am. He wasn't even willing to have a "conversation" about anything. How can you share your life and kids with someone and not give them the time of day?
hopeful4someday Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Focusing on the negative is just going to hurt you. On the plus side, it means he didn't break up with you for someone else.... He has a right to move on. I think this shows he's sure of his decision, and in some ways that's good for you. You don't need to worry whether he's going to change his mind or whatever, and you're free to move on too.
Author Sassygirl2 Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 Focusing on the negative is just going to hurt you. On the plus side, it means he didn't break up with you for someone else.... He has a right to move on. I think this shows he's sure of his decision, and in some ways that's good for you. You don't need to worry whether he's going to change his mind or whatever, and you're free to move on too. Yes you are right. I guess it could be worse! I am calming down now. I did feel a little sense of freedom today - almost like a relief that I don't have to fight for something that isn't going to happen.
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