stopthemadness Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) Hi all. most of you know my story. Brokeup 9 months. We were 2gether 8+ yrs. Total N/C fo 3 1/2 months. Iam soo proud. Ive been doing really well going on with my life and all. Ya Ive missed him but not obsesively. I am getten it in my head and my heart that we are NOt going to be "us" anymore. He was, has , whatever? been living down the street from my house with some lady. But I hear he comes and goes from there, Whatever? Anyway. So yesterday out of no where!! He sends me a text to land line message. See he has NO way to contact me as I deleted him from EVERYTHING!! Good for me huh!! So ya , I see his number on my house phone (only thing I never changed)and I dont answer it let it go voice mail.. Well when i do listen to the message ,all it says is" But I still havent found what am Looking For" I know him right, its a song by U2. So this moring I google it and listen to the song. I dont know what I think? Soo i guess hes sending me a message huh? But what? Thats hes not happy? At this point am kinda glad that hes in some kind of emotional pain. Welcome to my nightmare. Dont know about him but am healing..Guess it took N/C for him to miss me.. But guess what? now I dont care. Its true what they say. Silence is the most dignified response you can give after you get dumped and told they no longer wanta be with you. Would like to hear your thought on this..thanks Edited May 10, 2011 by stopthemadness
hellon Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 wow- sounds like he is definitely (i mean literally) sending you a message. anyway, stay strong, stay dignified, and try not to read too much into it/overanalyze, you know? just enjoy the thought that he is not living the dream. god i would love to have the chance to ignore my ex!
Thierro Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I believe this is a situation where you can show to YOURSELF that you are the bigger person and that you can handle a situation like this with dignity. You can ignore your ex, but –in my opinion- it shows a lack of compassion and respect. This is not about them, but about you and your values. I don’t think it shows the right mindset when people ignore their ex. Mind you, this is a state of mind you need to be in, if you are not over them; stay NC. The only time you don’t respond to them is when you feel/know that you want something more out of it.
Author stopthemadness Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 hellon-ya i think hes sending me a message to, but guess what. I dont think I care. And your right am not going to overanalyze anything from him. This is a done deal, because he wanted this. Be careful what you wish for huh? Thierro- I read your post from 2day. You sound so strong!! Way stronger and in a different place then me as far as this brakeup and healing goes. I heard your advice and thank you. But Iam thinking I need to (for my own well being) ignore my ex and any and all contact from him. And no am not All better yet, but Iam better then I was. I one day hope to be where your at. But it anit 2day. But thank you for responding..Really.
Thierro Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 You are strong too. You make your own decisions and you choose your own path. I admire that. I admire every single person on this board for that matter. They all go their own way and learn from every step they have made. People need to do the thing that feels right for them without putting themselves down when the outcome is different from expected. In the end there is only one person you need to please; the man/woman staring back in the mirror. You are doing great, stopthemadness.. just great
hellon Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Sorry a little late on this one, I've been offline for a couple days. But- Thierro is right, you ARE strong, in your own way, you're proving it by not jumping at the chance to respond to his crap. You may feel like you have a long way to go still, but imagine how you would've reacted if you'd gotten that message few months ago? You're on your way.
0hpenelope Posted May 14, 2011 Posted May 14, 2011 Its true what they say. Silence is the most dignified response you can give after you get dumped and told they no longer wanta be with you. Would like to hear your thought on this..thanks That's exactly it. There's no amount of "I'm going NC now, bye," only to break it to tell them again "This is it, I'm soo not talking to you anymore." And then break it again blah blah. You get what I mean. Space brings clarity and a lot of the dumpees I've met say that they have come so far after the break up that they really don't want anything to do with the ex, even to maintain a friendship. There's a difference between being civil, being friendly, and being friends, so I think you're definitely in a good place. Not falling for that "mysterious reference to U2" or whatever to hook you. If your ex wants something, you know he'll have to try harder than that. But you don't care! Because you're out there, healing and living life.
Author stopthemadness Posted May 15, 2011 Author Posted May 15, 2011 Hi Openelope. Hey chick how are you? Look am not gona lie and say that him reaching out to me didnt give me a little mind change. Cause it did, but just a little. And definitely not enough for me to respond to him. Ive come along way from being that broken person I was when he first dumped me.Thats right, I said it. He dumped me. But you know what? Life goes on. Dont double back now just cause things aint working out with his new person huh? Ive learned in my N/C that some people just dont go 2tether. And me and my ex, we just dont go 2gether. We tryed for 8+ years and thats enough for me. I still havent found my next relationship person. But thats ok. For now am having fun. I go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. I go to church. Me and my sisters have been going to alot of taping of shows in LA (I live in So Calif). And this next week am going to see The Blue Man Group!! Iam been wanting to see that show for years. And you know what Opene? Me and his new person(the ones hes not happy with, I guess) We ran into eachother last week. It DIDNT bother me at all!! Shes not pettty at all, shes over weight and very plain. Iam a girly girl ya know. But I dont even care, cause when its my time, Ill meet my next person when am ready. Untell then Iam just living my life, having fun when ever I can. And letting my heart heal. This is me healing!! aint it awesome.........
Jdw_Icequeen Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 CONGRATS!! I have been following your threads for a long time. I am very happy for you that you not only haven't responded,but that your feeling good enough that you can just shrug off running into this OW. Maybe knowing she dosen't stand up to you also made you feel better in some small way? Either way it dosen't sound like you care to much anymore to react to it.. Almost 6 months for me and I have my moments of struggle. Have talked to the ex a few times because we have our son together and we are trying to get finacial stuff takin care of. Found out he has a gf now. Can't say that didn't stab me a little bit. Here is hoping I am where you are sooner then later!!
0hpenelope Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 Hi Openelope. Hey chick how are you? Look am not gona lie and say that him reaching out to me didnt give me a little mind change. Cause it did, but just a little. And definitely not enough for me to respond to him. Ive come along way from being that broken person I was when he first dumped me.Thats right, I said it. He dumped me. But you know what? Life goes on. Dont double back now just cause things aint working out with his new person huh? Ive learned in my N/C that some people just dont go 2tether. And me and my ex, we just dont go 2gether. We tryed for 8+ years and thats enough for me. I still havent found my next relationship person. But thats ok. For now am having fun. I go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. I go to church. Me and my sisters have been going to alot of taping of shows in LA (I live in So Calif). And this next week am going to see The Blue Man Group!! Iam been wanting to see that show for years. And you know what Opene? Me and his new person(the ones hes not happy with, I guess) We ran into eachother last week. It DIDNT bother me at all!! Shes not pettty at all, shes over weight and very plain. Iam a girly girl ya know. But I dont even care, cause when its my time, Ill meet my next person when am ready. Untell then Iam just living my life, having fun when ever I can. And letting my heart heal. This is me healing!! aint it awesome......... Yeah, it's pretty nice on this side of healing ain't it? You go through the ugly & hard parts, but once those parts are done, you're done. There's nothing like good people, awesome experiences, and great music to soothe away the hurt! Whenever I feel like being in my self-pity mode, I let myself feel that way and then force myself to do something that will not let me dwell on feeling sorry for myself. Happiness is a choice and you're living it. I'm happy for you!!
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