giuliano-3 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 A timeline might be neccesary to fully describe this saga, thanks in advance if you make it to the bottom. And, yes, she is still blocked on FB. May 2010 - She leaves on trip overseas, cheats on me, never calls or writes, I find out from her mom that she is alive. June - Her mom tells me she is with another man, I unfriend her on FB, still haven't heard anything from her July - Her mom gives me her # overseas, I call (she hangs up/blocks my # immediately), not realizing you can message someone on FB without being friends I send friend request with long nastyish message attached, after two weeks get FB message from her saying only "dunno what to say", have sent most of her belongings to her mom's by this point August - We write a few messages back and forth on FB. She gets "deported" from country for overstaying visa, comes back to the US and lives with her mom 1,500 miles away, she accepts friend request from one month earlier, she finally calls me - we have an amicable conversation. Sep til Dec - We talk once or twice a week on phone for 1-2 hours, she tells me how terrible she feels about what happened, I never open the door completely to take her back, also never know if she wants to come back for sure. Jan 2011 - She mentions "winning a trip to *exotic country* at the movie theater", week before she is about to leave I finally ask her if she is going with the same guy she was with overseas, she tells the truth sheepishly but also says "I don't even know if I really like him." She calls me from the airplane as it was about to depart, she said she loves me, I unfriend her again on FB, the trip lasts 3 months - she told me it would be a one month trip. Fast forward to more recently, had some battles the past few months with e-stalking. Checking her FB profile fairly frequently. Spent hours looking for some kind of video evidence of her existence. Found some, a five second clip of her walking through a crowd of people at some soccer festival from last May. Felt sick when I saw it, she seemed like a ghost. A different person altogether. Watched so many clips of parties in the party destinations she went to in *exotic country* - horrible viewing I can assure you, torturous stuff. Never found anything. She poked me on FB the day after she got back (April 1st), I poked her back in 2 days, she pokes me immediately (to the second) back, I am surprised by this and choose to not poke. A week later I poke. Nothing for 2 weeks. Five days ago she changed her profile to "in a relationship," put a bunch of pictures from their trip on her profile. In the process of trying to find some website to post her name and shame her as a lying cheater I found LS instead. Thankfully! I block her on FB as a result of discussions on here. Then yesterday she text messages me for the first time since January. It doesn't make my heart race the same way as it would of a while ago. This has to be because of my blocking her from seeing my profile, which means that she probably (at least once or twice a week) would check out my wall to feel something. I am starting to feel guilty about not texting back or calling her. I want to believe that she won't hurt me again, that there is a possibility of us being together again at some point in the future. But I also don't care as much as I would have at other points during the last year. Just not sure what I'll do if she calls. I need to keep NC. I have taken the power back (or so it seems) and don't want to lose this feeling. I think it is impossible for us to be just friends given all that went down.
lazybum Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Continue taking the power back but being in NC! You can post here all you want but never give her an iota of your energy. It's tough i know but judging from what you've written, it sounds like she's kinda messed up. You should block her from all aspects of your life. Facebook, Messenger, Skype, if possible change your number too! Something i've learnt, when someone really wants you back bad, they will resort to desperate measures. And only if the ex is that desperate, should you consider taking her back. If you feel the need to respond to her, do it here! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3391168&posted=1#post3391168 It's cathartic, i assure you
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