johan Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I just haven't got enough guts to do that. Try just once to tell yourself, "I could do that. I have the guts to that. No problem.". Even if you dont really feel it. Just say it to yourself. And I think there is something else about me that might be stopping women from being attracted to me, like my pheremones are wrong or something. Tell yourself the opposite: "My pheromones are the best around.". Your problem is not your body chemistry, your looks, or anything else you can't control. Your problem you always talk yourself out of everything. You never say anything good to yourself. Or about yourself. You could have had 20 girlfriends by now, but you always tell yourself "no".
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I agree with Johan. There is nothing wrong with you, Ross, at least from your pictures. The only thing I can place blame on is your constant negativity; it seems to be a constant theme from us "older virgin guys."
welikeincrowds Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I have always wondered why people pay such exorbitant prices for clothing. I have never spent more than 40 bucks on a pair of jeans, and never more than 10-15 bucks on a (non-dress) shirt. My jeans look great and have lasted for years, same with the shirts. So durability and look can't be the cause of the price difference. Maybe I'm just too old fashioned. You can't really wonder that hard about why people enjoy blowing money on ****, can you? You are only paying for the name and that's it. Most clothing is made in the same third world sweat shops. That depends on what it is. There are a lot of reasons clothing can be expensive: how and where it was made, what it's made of, where the fabrics were sourced, who designed it, how many of that particular garment were produced, etc. **** son, maybe you should hit up Wikipedia.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 You can't really wonder that hard about why people enjoy blowing money on ****, can you? Of course not. This is America, the only place on earth where you can charge 5 bucks a bag for a bunch of cheap rubber bands (the silly band craze from a year ago). The model for success seems to be: find something completely useless that Americans will buy in large quantities. It's a formula that's made us the Superpower we are today.
Olivia1966 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Back the original question, I usually blush and run away.
orangelady Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I think the reason why I don't look at this with optimisim, is because I don't want to get my hopes up. The law of the universe is : you get back what you've put out. If you don't do anything, then nothing happens. It's that simple. Would you be happy to live a life where nothing happens? Maybe.
J200 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I never react; never smile or give a nod to any guy because I am not social; I am INTROVERTED and anti social. I would notice them from the corner out of my eye and think DAMN they are hot but I would carry on having a pissed off look on my face. I always look pissed off (even at work); it's just my personality. I tend to be a very angry person. I am not the happy bubbly type of girl; I don't smile or get friendly with anyone (including girls and family members pretty much). That's me.
musemaj11 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 (edited) I think this is the way most women react. They require something more, like a good personality, before they'll jump in the sack with a guy. Whereas, a guy would go to bed with an attractive woman if she offered, irregardless of her personality. I think the only common thread that both men and women have, is that men also require a good personality for there to be more than sex. Women, on the other hand, require there to be a good personality there for there to BE sex. Thats because women are on average less interested in sex than men in the first place. Women with high testosterone are comparably as visual and as easily aroused as men. The same thing with the opposite. Men with low testosterone wont feel a thing even if a hot woman stands naked before him. If you're fashionable, all women believe that you're gay. So that is not really the answer. The normal guy goes around in jeans and a t shirt, and he does rather well. The normal guy who goes around in expensive suits, if he isn't a lawyer or some hotshot professional, is probably gay. Thats just stupid and not exactly true. Dressing well doesnt necessarily mean looking metrosexual like a Frenchman. Edited May 12, 2011 by musemaj11
mr.dream merchant Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Basically, if men weren't constantly paying attention to women, **** would never get done because women spend their whole life being an unsure prospect in the rules of attraction. They'd rather sit around and wait for something to happen than take control and go for what they see and like. Well, that's what I'm reading here. :/ Aggressive women are super sexy, but when a woman is aggressive I can't help but think of how many schlongs she's been wrapped around. Ugh.
proactivedreamer Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I always notice. I love men, and if one stands out I will give him a once over or two. I kind of want to experiment with being the aggressor and ask a guy out. There seems to still be rules around this, as MDM stated, so I feel reluctant to do it. I don't think I am terribly shy but I get self-conscious and I can be somewhat picky when it comes to men. I will say that I don't necessarily have a type but I am really attracted to "artsy-soulful" types-yum!
musemaj11 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I always notice. I love men, and if one stands out I will give him a once over or two. I kind of want to experiment with being the aggressor and ask a guy out. There seems to still be rules around this, as MDM stated, so I feel reluctant to do it. I don't think I am terribly shy but I get self-conscious and I can be somewhat picky when it comes to men. I will say that I don't necessarily have a type but I am really attracted to "artsy-soulful" types-yum! Being assertive is good but dont be slutty about it. Do it with class. Give an impression that makes him admire you rather than seeing you as easy.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 Try just once to tell yourself, "I could do that. I have the guts to that. No problem.". Even if you dont really feel it. Just say it to yourself. Tell yourself the opposite: "My pheromones are the best around.". Your problem is not your body chemistry, your looks, or anything else you can't control. Your problem you always talk yourself out of everything. You never say anything good to yourself. Or about yourself. You could have had 20 girlfriends by now, but you always tell yourself "no". I used to think I should be able to get girls no problem, but it never made any difference.
johan Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I used to think I should be able to get girls no problem, but it never made any difference. I'm not suggesting you tell yourself you can get girls, necessarily. Just stop telling yourself you can't and start giving yourself credit for having traits some girl will find attractive. You want everyone to believe that somehow the world has aligned itself against you, conspiring to keep you single and unhappy. To me it's obvious the world isn't against you at all. You're against yourself. You're steadfastly negative. Why is that?
makelemonade1974 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I have this "type" of guy that just makes me want to fall down - dark hair always, artsy looking (sounds stupid when I write it down). When I see one of them it's like a rare bird in the wild or something. Yeah, I tend to look and look, hoping I'll get a response, but the last time this happened (months ago) he didn't even notice. If a girl looks at you once and then looks away when you look at her, it's probably just because you look like somebody they know, or you look strange or something. If she continues to look (or is looking everytime you turn around) then obviously she's interested. Go for it! Everyone is scared of rejection - you need to get rid of that fear if you are a guy, because it's sort of your job to take the lead in such situations. I wanted to chase rare bird man down the street and rip his clothes off, but of course I couldn't do that, or even walk up to him and say hello. It just doesn't seem socially acceptable for women to ask men out, or at least that's how I feel.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 I'm not suggesting you tell yourself you can get girls, necessarily. Just stop telling yourself you can't and start giving yourself credit for having traits some girl will find attractive. You want everyone to believe that somehow the world has aligned itself against you, conspiring to keep you single and unhappy. To me it's obvious the world isn't against you at all. You're against yourself. You're steadfastly negative. Why is that? Because it genuinley really feels exactly how you describe, that the world/universe has aligned itself against me, to keep me single and unhappy. It's felt like that since a really young age, I can remember it feeling like that when I was 6 or 7.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 I have this "type" of guy that just makes me want to fall down - dark hair always, artsy looking (sounds stupid when I write it down). When I see one of them it's like a rare bird in the wild or something. Yeah, I tend to look and look, hoping I'll get a response, but the last time this happened (months ago) he didn't even notice. If a girl looks at you once and then looks away when you look at her, it's probably just because you look like somebody they know, or you look strange or something. If she continues to look (or is looking everytime you turn around) then obviously she's interested. Go for it! Everyone is scared of rejection - you need to get rid of that fear if you are a guy, because it's sort of your job to take the lead in such situations. I wanted to chase rare bird man down the street and rip his clothes off, but of course I couldn't do that, or even walk up to him and say hello. It just doesn't seem socially acceptable for women to ask men out, or at least that's how I feel. Unfortunatley I've never expereinced a girl looking everytime I turn around. I have seen plenty of them look away when I catch them though. Unfortunaltey I automatically look away quite quickly too, so I've got no idea if any girls that I've caught looking at me would've continued to look if I did.
orangelady Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Then you need to start putting out. Maybe that way you can begin getting back. How do you know I'm not putting out? BA, are we even friends anymore?
Darren Taylor Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Everyone is scared of rejection - you need to get rid of that fear if you are a guy, because it's sort of your job to take the lead in such situations. That's a sexist view. Women need to get rid of that fear as well. If you don't want to approach the guy you're interested in, there will be another woman that will do it without hesitation.
orangelady Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 That's a sexist view. Women need to get rid of that fear as well. If you don't want to approach the guy you're interested in, there will be another woman that will do it without hesitation. It's not sexist, it's just gender roles. Women don't really not approach it because of fear of rejection but because it makes them feel cheap, desperate and a slut.
Rinnix Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 That's a sexist view. Women need to get rid of that fear as well. If you don't want to approach the guy you're interested in, there will be another woman that will do it without hesitation. I agree. When I'm interested in someone I will take initiative too.
Darren Taylor Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 It's not sexist, it's just gender roles. Women don't really not approach it because of fear of rejection but because it makes them feel cheap, desperate and a slut. Gender roles went out the door once women competed for and got high paying jobs, power, and other positions of authority. The gender role excuse is no longer valid. If it's desperate for a woman to approach, then it's equally as desperate, slutty, and cheap for a man to do it. Women don't approach because they're lazy, not because they feel cheap.
Darren Taylor Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 I agree. When I'm interested in someone I will take initiative too. And when it comes to you and the more passive woman, you'll win because you went for what you wanted.
orangelady Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Gender roles went out the door once women competed for and got high paying jobs, power, and other positions of authority. The gender role excuse is no longer valid. If it's desperate for a woman to approach, then it's equally as desperate, slutty, and cheap for a man to do it. Women don't approach because they're lazy, not because they feel cheap. No, I would want to, but I don't want to be known as desperate and cheap. I think what you mentioned about power, etc is only applicable in some cultures. Not everyone here is from America. My guy friend, who is quite a close friend of mine, says he doesn't like women who does the pursuing. He says men should be the pursuer, not the woman. So when there was a girl who pursued him, he felt weird about it and wasn't interested in her.
orangelady Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 And when it comes to you and the more passive woman, you'll win because you went for what you wanted. lol You think just because a woman wants a man she likes, she can have him?
Darren Taylor Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 No, I would want to, but I don't want to be known as desperate and cheap. I think what you mentioned about power, etc is only applicable in some cultures. Not everyone here is from America. Why do you care what others think? F*ck what they think. My guy friend, who is quite a close friend of mine, says he doesn't like women who does the pursuing. He says men should be the pursuer, not the woman. So when there was a girl who pursued him, he felt weird about it and wasn't interested in her. That's 1 man out of many. Even calling him a man is a stretch. He's not a man, he's an insecure little boy. I take it he also thinks women should be in the kitchen and have no place in a man's world?
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