sabienne Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Ive noticed on this site that there's a lot of pouring our hearts out over how miserable we are over what we have lost, and how hard NC is. Theres also all this congratulating over keeping up NC - which is fantastic - but what about the upside of being single and living for ourselves? What about all the things we can do now for ourselves - big or small - that we have nobody holding us back? I have personally thrown myself into my career - I'm a 5th grade teacher. My students have had the most over the top, over planned, full of content and resources lessons lately, and I'm seeing an improvement in their concentration levels and results in class. That's been motivating for ME, nobody else. And it's helped the beautiful children I teach too, which is something I cherish. And then theres my latest, rather small single girl accomplishment: took myself off to target and bought a girly hot pink doona cover, and some pink towels. No more gender neutral decorating options for me! So what have you accomplished - for YOU - since you've been single?
Moutonrose Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 well I have finaly decided at 25 years old to learn how to drive!!! yes yes when I was with my ex for 7 years he never let me get it because he told me he would always drive me where I want to go. so there number one I am going to learn how to drive. number two...I got my dream dog!! I adopted a pure bred Border collie!!! my ex never wanted to get a dog and I got my dream dog because Ive been working with sheep a long time!!!! number 3...I am going back to school in 2012 after I learn how to drive... so I guess my breakup is bringing me some independance finaly
ilovedhim Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 oh yeah there's alot of negativity in these forums. it's that the upside is already taken care of in the time we're not on the site. it's happy time we spend with others. i came here when i had exhausted all my friends and they were absolutley fed up with hearing about my ex. Like you I'm also concentrating on my work. And training for a 10k! Even thinking of starting a new business. Just pathetic how much time was wasted on this relationship being unproductive.
Katt22 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I enrolled in a phlebotomy class for this coming fall and plan on getting certified within the year. I'm excited to start a career that I'm actually passionate about. I'm making plans for me, getting a bigger place all my own, moving to a city that I love. I joined my local gym and I've been going everyday. Just trying to take it a day at a time.
Author sabienne Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 Just pathetic how much time was wasted on this relationship being unproductive. Absolutely! I'm also feeling ick about all the time I spent post relationship being down in the dumps and moping. Hence the positivity Moutonrose - Well done on learning to drive! It's probably best you didn't learn with your ex - think, every time you'd be behind the wheel of the car, you would think of them, and it's not like they don't take up enough headspace! Ugh! kat22 - uhhh, what is phlebotomy?! I'm very curious.
BlindRage Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 The most valuable lesson: You only live once and don't let someone validate you out of your own fear. What I realized is you don't really need a special someone to make you happy. Its extra but its not a necessity. You can be happy (Well this is how I take things now with my personality, I know that everyone is different as some need a person to define their happiness, I'm not like that though)
Author sabienne Posted May 11, 2011 Author Posted May 11, 2011 The most valuable lesson: You only live once and don't let someone validate you out of your own fear. What I realized is you don't really need a special someone to make you happy. Its extra but its not a necessity. You can be happy (Well this is how I take things now with my personality, I know that everyone is different as some need a person to define their happiness, I'm not like that though) I agree 100%. as much as I loved my ex, I would rather be alone and happy, then clinging onto a relationship I wasnt happy with or to someone who doesnt want to be with me, just because they were there. Relationships should be mutual choice, not mutual fear.
Recommended Posts