vsmini Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Could use help and I'll keep it short so it's tolerable to read. In a 6 month relationship with a 29 year old guy who is up front about his feelings and commitment to me. He's kind, thoughtful, consistent with communication and plans. He's the first guy I can really see myself being with and I know he sees himself being with me long-term. He's a dream. And the issue: The sex was awkward in the beginning but it's been consistently good for the last few months. I was worried about it at first but since we've been doing ok lately I felt better. Now in the last week or so I'm just not feeling sexually attracted to him...at all. I'm still having sex with him but I'm just not enjoying it. I don't know what is going on and I'm kind of freaking out. I'm starting to look up threads about sexless marriages and thinking this might be our major roadblock since I'm only 6 months in and having issues. My dating pattern has shown this before - with the emotionally unavailable men the sex life can be great for the entire long-term relationship but when I'm dating the guys that treat me well and I'm content every other way - my sex drive is gone. I guess I'm just left with good old communication to work this out with him. Any ways to go about it. We just got the erection back and I don't want to scare it off. Help - advice, words of encouragement, anything? thanks so much.
FrostFire Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) Does it feel like you're doing more work or is he? Communication is priority on this one. Never say you're not doing this right. Approach it nicely by showing him how you like it. Maybe be aggressive one night and taking the reigns? Have sex in another place besides the bedroom. It's just becoming routine because that's what it is routine... Routine is doomed to fail and he needs to understand this in a way that hopefully doesn't damage his ego. Tell him how much you crave him for breakfast hahaha. No really perhaps you'll have to get a little creative with your ideas and then you can approach this much easier rather than just laying it all on him. Do some online research for something you'd like to try and turn you on. Try it and then show him all these cool websites that have given you such naughty ideas and how BAD you want to try them. He'll get the idea I'm sure of it. If he doesn't then you'll have to ask yourself can you handle routine? Just communicate to him! Edited May 10, 2011 by FrostFire
orion1010 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 My ex and I would rent hotel rooms at casions and make sure the room had a hottube. We would hit up the hottube, go gamble.. then find the nearest stair well to have a little fun. doing wild and crazy things every now and then really helped our relationship. If that's not for you try buying something sexy at victoria secret and go the entire nine yards to drive him crazy to get some passion out of him. Maybe by you taking the lead will get him thinking and get a little more creative for you.
guy777 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Not sure if you're into this, but maybe get some lingerie that can be taken off while you are bound. Then tell him you want him to tie you up while blindfolded, and then slowly remove the lingerie you are wearing for him.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 This is a tough one. If the problem runs through several relationships... I'd say it might be some kind of mental issue of yours. Does your current BF display any tendencies towards dominance in the bedroom? Is he the take charge type of guy?
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