MarcosCS Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 First of all, sorry for my bad English (I’m brazilian) Well... the past couple months have been really hard for me so I decided to seek help. I just found this forum and I hope you can help me with my thoughts. This story is a little long so please stick with me. Two years ago I started making friends on the Internet, even though I never intended to be involved in a LDR. But then I found this girl… We soon became best friends, we talked all the time, I liked her a lot and I knew she felt the same. A few months later, we were together already. Our relation was like a dream: we never argued, we spent all the time we could talking to each other (sometimes even 14 hours a day, on weekends), and we had a lot of fun together. Every day she said that she loved me and I said the same to her. I felt it couldn’t get better. Few months later, I asked her if I could go see her. She said that, since we met over the Internet, she couldn’t introduce me to her parents. I was cool with that: I loved her and I would wait forever, if needed. We were together for 10 months at this point, without ever arguing even once, and I thought everything was still as perfect as it started. But then… Her ex came into the story. He lives a few blocks away from her house (I live more than 1000 miles away), he saw her almost every day and he was a friend of her family. In summary, he was a far better choice than me. He started pressing her for another chance, and as it seems she also liked him a lot. When she was freaking out, I said to her that I didn’t want to let her go, but I loved her and wanted her to be happy, so we could break up if she felt it was the right thing. She answered that she also loved me and would stick with me whatever happened. She shouldn’t have said that. Few weeks later, she came to me saying she actually never loved me as a man, but just as a friend. Needless to say, that hurt me a lot. She even said, “I don’t know how you still don’t hate me”. But I couldn’t hate her: I love her! We committed to be “best-friends” from that point. I decided to wait for a second chance with her, so we kept talking a lot of time every day as we did before. I did even help her when she argued with her boyfriend. Ironically, as a friend I was trying to save her relationship, but for myself I wanted them to break up as soon as possible. Yes, that situation also hurt me. But we still had so much fun talking to each other, how could I let go of her? Well, the answer to that was yet to come. After one month, before she even told me, she broke with her BF and started dating a new one, a guy she barely knew! (Where is my second chance?). And this guy was even worst than the other, they kept fighting every day and he treated her so badly it made me sick. And for me, all that was left was to comfort her and calm her down, like i always did when she needed. But this consumed my strenghts. I got really sick, got hospitalized and the doctor said the stress caused me an intestine disease (I wonder where the stress came from?). And this worked out for the worst… She called me several times when I was on the hospital, she even cried when I told her it could be a serious disease. I got so much happy every time she called. When I came back home, a week later she finished with this other guy. We were so close to each other again; I was sure to have my second chance. But… Before she even told me, three days later she was back to this guy again. Even thought he treated her like nothing. That ended all of my silly hopes, I was so depressed I decided to break contact for a while, to recover from my disease. When I said that to her, then came the finishing blow: she said she couldn’t care less! Weren’t we best friends? Now she doesn’t even care anymore? Even now I am very confused about this. Five days later (I didn’t even turn the computer on these days) she called me: Her grandmother had died (and his boyfriend couldn’t care less to comfort her), so I spoke to her, calmed her down and when we realized it, we had passed one hour on the phone and we were laughing. It’s so good to be with her! I just can’t stop loving her. But I know that when I start talking to her again it will make me suffer. She just won’t finish with this guy! By the time I’m writing this, it’s been a two days since that phone call. I'm still not talking to her yet. So, help me understand her: does she loves me, but couldn’t stand the distance? The guys she dated are awful, and I always treated her like a queen… is it possible that she really prefers those guys? Or else, does she loves me like a friend, and is trying to tell me to end my hopes of being together? Or, as she said once, she “can’t care less” about me? Also, I wanted to say that I am willing to drop college and move to her town if I still have a chance to be with her. Could I ask her to finish with this awful guy without upsetting her? Can I just move there to show how serious I am, then taking my chances from there? (I am not very wealthy so… it could be awful if it didn’t work). Or… should I just give up? All those things are spinning in my head, I have a difficult test this Friday and I “think I cannot think” anymore. Any help or word of encouragement, anything will do to ease my head a little. Thanks in Advance.
creighton0123 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 It's 2011. She shouldn't be so ashamed of online relationships. Many people meet online and are perfectly happy and content. She sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. You either wait patiently or move on. Those are your only two choices. You recognize that she deserves better. Aren't you willing to recognize that you deserve better as well?
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