gcs Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I want to share my story, because even though some (if not most) find it inappropriate, I know I am not the only one out there. So my current significant and I met on an online dating sight. We both agreed that the reason for joining the site was to meet people we would otherwise have no other way of meeting. After all, who says love strikes in your hometown?! I should mention that he is significantly older than me as well, approx 20 years. I was a little perplexed when I saw this as he did not look near that old from his pictures. STEP ONE: Anyway, after reading his "about me" I messaged him and was pleased to get an almost immediate response; however the response was not anything I expected. Instead of responding with any physically related comments (youre hott, cute, wow, omg...that sorta thing) we talked about travels, foreign countries, snowboarding, etc through numerous emails and eventually moved onto phone communication. STEP TWO: After going back and forth, I opened the suggestion to a skype conversation to confirm that we both really were who we portrayed ourselves to be. Test passed 100%. We began skyping 4-5 times a week and once again to my surprise, I never recieved a creep feeling or feeling of distrust from him. STEP THREE: Up untill this point I had been the initiator. A few weeks after beginning skype, he proposed the idea that we meet in person. Of course we are long distance, but still only a plane ride away. We tossed around possible dates for a while and found that the best time would be about a month down the road. We also agreed that it would be best if I travelled, as my work is much more flexible than his, and he also has a pet to care for, and I dont. STEP FOUR: The visit.... well lets just say, when I touched down in the airplane, my heart was beating obnoxiously fast. He met me right outside the terminal, picked up my bag, gave me a hug, opened my door, and we set on our way. ...Although we had already established both a personal and physical attraction, there was still that sureal moment that you really dont believe you just traveled across the country to meet someone you have never met, but would like to date. Kind of od huh? The second we were in the car, he grabbed my hand and held it the whole way home... ..enough with the steps... So, just a refresher, we have maintained steady communication (daily) throughout the past 2.5 months...however I am worried about the expectations of him flying me to see him. What did this mean? Well I was there for 4 days, 4 nights. We broke the ice over a drink at the house and had a wonderful extended weekend. Nothing shady, or irregular, stange, or crazy... I was shocked. I kept a low profile though, and made sure that I got along great with everyone... for this trip, that only meant I had to get along great with the dog. Not a difficult task by any means. We then established a trip two, only two weeks later. I was then introduced to four of his friends that met with him every sunday. We all seamed to get along great. Another girl showed up later on in the night, ( not anyone he know, but a "friend" of one of his friends) and I made sure that I got along good with her too. He seemed very impressed by that. I also tried to make sure that when he left the room, I wasnt sitting there like a lost puppy. We also went out on a double date with one of his close friends and work partners and his fiance... (brownie points)! Trip three. I actually stayed for the entire week. This time was a big deal. I surprised him by making dinner (even though I dont really know how to cook) when he got home from work... and he surprised me by making breakfast the next morning. We both bragged about each other's cooking efforts to all his friends. Later, I met all his friends that attended poker night, and on another night, he introduced me to one of his acquaintances as his girlfriend! I WAS PUMPED! ... and I told him I was pumped. During the course of one evening, I changed the subject to more personal stuff. I asked everything I wanted to know (only a few questions), and he came straight out and told me without hesitation. I also encouraged him to ask anything he want to me and reinforced how much communication is important to a long distance relationship, or any for that matter. I saw him again but a few days after I left. This time, we met with my sister and her husband for dinner. I was proud and wanted my friends to meet him too... although being in his part of the country, all I had locally available was my sister... which worked out great anyway (LOVE YOU SIS!) I wanted to see how he acted around unfamiliar people, once again passed the test 100%! I also baked him a birthday cake as an early celebration because I would not be seeing him on his bday, ( a very old family recipe). He absolutely loved it and once again bragged about it to all his friends. That same day happened to be easter, and we paraded around the street where people from all over always just walk this street every easter (more like a parade of random people, with lots of dogs and fair food). He introduced me to dozens of people. On occasion I made sure to make conversation away from him to show my independance. THEN IT HAPPENED>>> that night, he asked me to come back in a couple weeks. The desired weekend just happened to be the same weekend his entire family would be in town (yes, including the parents). Of course I said yes but I also voiced my concerns. This was the only time that I have ever felt uncertain about our age difference. He is a grown man and flying me out there to meet his family must mean something! I told him that I was concerned his family would be discriminating against our age difference. He reassured me not to worry, that they were going to love me. So I believe him... and this story is well, still in the making. In a few days I will meet the parents... =z =] Okay, so I feel slightly obligated to tell you more about the obvious issue to most people... the age differnce. I am 19... He is 40. There we have it. I never would have guessed this would happen but it just did and for all the prejudice out there against this age difference, well sometimes I agree with you. I wont ever underestimate my intelligence for anyone. I truly believe I am an intelligent girl and I really enjoy having intriguing conversation and being challenged and trying new experiences. I am not attracted to smart people... I am attracted to intelligent people. The difference (in my opinion) is the difference in being able to spit out facts from anything you hear, and the ability to take what you hear, personally digest it, and either (if applicable) or utilize it in someway that will be beneficial, or form your own conclusions, bias and opinions on something. It just so happens that I found this intelligence in someone twice my age. If it were fake I probably wouldnt be posting about it, or be posting my alterior motives behind it... but its not that way. I am still nervous, of course! but I cant help but wonder ... whats next? I also dont really understand what this means in our relationship from a guys perspective... I know this was more like a blog then a thread, but... I'm sure someone could find it interesting maybe. I would gladly open non judgemental advice, thoughts or anything. I am by no means ashamed of it.
alexlakeman Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Man what luck.. he hooked up with a teenager; but kinda weird... but if it works, good luck, just remember in ten years his johnson might need some coercing to function, and in 20 yrs when he's 60 and his Friday nights are "let's go to the bingo hall", you' be just a hot 39 year old.. At some point, you'll turn into his nurse to take care of him.. I might have missed it, but he pays for all your air travel? BTW, I would feel weird dating a girl that is not much older than my friends' daughters.. I am sure I would be banned from that circle of friends.. He could be your father..
Shaun-Dro Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Sounds great, best wishes for continued success. Same here from me. I wish I could luck up with a young dame. I'm guessing it's gonna take some more time .
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