Mangomonkey Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I mean. They have their own house. (barn). They work and are able to support themselves. They are independent and very family oriented. I mean the sex might get boring but you would have yourself a very good man. At least i think so.
dreamingoftigers Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I would totally marry an Amish man if he was a nice Amish man. That type if lifestyle totally appeals to me and I bet he would be loyal too.
dreamingoftigers Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I bet if I told him I'd give him the first blowjob ever performed in the colony if he shaved, he would.
dreamingoftigers Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 If he joined the church then you would need to as well and live by all the restrictions to marry him. If he hasn't and doesn't plan to then he'll be eventually moving out. It wouldn't be much different from any other relationship except he would have only an eighth grade education so there would be some struggles ahead as he mainstreamed. Which church? His or mine?
salty goodness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 no i would not, i'm not the least bit religious and i enjoy my tv, computer and indoor plumbing.
Author Mangomonkey Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Salty your crazy. Imagine all the fun you could have as an Amish wife. You could milk cows. Make bread. um... yea imagine all the fun. Who needs a t.v. Lets not forget the fashion. the beards are cool to but they have the coolest fashion. They have all kinds of hats. Black, grey. And they have horses. Thats what i call a true knight in shining armor.
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 One thing's for sure, when the zombies come, the Amish will hold them off easily while the rest of us get eaten... well unless the zombies are those "fast" zombies, then I guess we will all get eaten, Amish and English alike. Anyone got any good counters for those "fast" zombies?
Stung Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I already don't watch tv, and I hate my car. But no. I like the internet, and modern plumbing, and being an equal in my household and community, and traveling the world, things like that. Plus I'm pretty sure he'd be shunned forever for dating me and that's a pretty heavy guilt trip.
Stung Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 One thing's for sure, when the zombies come, the Amish will hold them off easily while the rest of us get eaten... well unless the zombies are those "fast" zombies, then I guess we will all get eaten, Amish and English alike. Anyone got any good counters for those "fast" zombies? I live on an island. I'm safe from the zombies already, unless the outbreak actually starts here.
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I live on an island. I'm safe from the zombies already, unless the outbreak actually starts here. They can swim, and the fast ones can swim really fast, especially those half-shark ones. I think the normal ones can crew boats. Are there Amish on your island to protect you?
salty goodness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Salty your crazy. Imagine all the fun you could have as an Amish wife. You could milk cows. Make bread. um... yea imagine all the fun. Who needs a t.v. Lets not forget the fashion. the beards are cool to but they have the coolest fashion. They have all kinds of hats. Black, grey. And they have horses. Thats what i call a true knight in shining armor. my grandparents were dairy farmers so i am very comfortable around all types of farm animals and i have milked cows and rode horses as a kid so all the lovely critters would be just fine. your point about the fashion and oh so sexy coiffures especially on the men could be a real selling point; plus i love a good barn raising, if you know what i mean.
Intricategirl Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I am the zombie queen (no, really. I can give my credentials if you'd like), and you want to hold off the fast ones the same way you do with the slow ones. No swords, blunt weapons that don't need to be reloaded. The faster they come after you, the more force it smacks them with (Newton's first law, if I remember correctly). And the reboot of one of Romero's movies says that islands are not safe. And the Amish are so toast in a zombie apocalypse. Pitchforks get stuck. To the original question, no, I would not date a zombie. Their breath smells like death, and they bite non-consensually. That was the question, right?
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Well the blunt instruments for the fast zombies sounds pretty good. Will load up some socks with pennies for me and whoever gets stuck with me. But no, zombie queen, the Amish will not be fooled into using pitchforks because as we all know, they are the masters of FIRE and BRIMSTONE, and will use the power of righteous holy fire to quell the zombie charge. Have you never seen the flamethrowers disguised as birdhouses that the Amish make and sell to the Pentagon? Truly devastating weapons.
Intricategirl Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Well the blunt instruments for the fast zombies sounds pretty good. Will load up some socks with pennies for me and whoever gets stuck with me. But no, zombie queen, the Amish will not be fooled into using pitchforks because as we all know, they are the masters of FIRE and BRIMSTONE, and will use the power of righteous holy fire to quell the zombie charge. Have you never seen the flamethrowers disguised as birdhouses that the Amish make and sell to the Pentagon? Truly devastating weapons. No, no. The zombies don't use the pitchforks. They get poked by them. And then they get stuck and you have flailing zombies on a pitchfork. Which is an excellent garage band name, but a lousy survival situation. And no, don't light your zombies on fire either. Flaming zombies is a good drink name, but an equally bad situation.
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 No, no. The zombies don't use the pitchforks. They get poked by them. And then they get stuck and you have flailing zombies on a pitchfork. Which is an excellent garage band name, but a lousy survival situation. And no, don't light your zombies on fire either. Flaming zombies is a good drink name, but an equally bad situation. Well it's obvious you are just trying to save your people O zombie queen, as you know that we are talking some blistering hot napalm type "Amish Fire" (they learned it from the Greeks), but do agree that "Zombies on Pitchforks" or some variant has commercial appeal. I would pay to watch that band, or even the reality show. Will your people work at below union scale?
Intricategirl Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Well it's obvious you are just trying to save your people O zombie queen, as you know that we are talking some blistering hot napalm type "Amish Fire" (they learned it from the Greeks), but do agree that "Zombies on Pitchforks" or some variant has commercial appeal. I would pay to watch that band, or even the reality show. Will your people work at below union scale? My minions don't have many brains, so they work cheap.
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 My minions don't have many brains, so they work cheap. Will they work -for- brains? as that may be easier to arrange than any kind of traditional pay (there are several colleges nearby full of unused brains).
Intricategirl Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Will they work -for- brains? as that may be easier to arrange than any kind of traditional pay (there are several colleges nearby full of unused brains). Sorry. Frat brains are no bueno.
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Sorry. Frat brains are no bueno. Oh cool, because the frat brains are fairly well-utilized; I get most of my harvest from professors in the social sciences (especially the women's studies department) and education departments, so will send a sample of those right over to see if they are palatable. Come up with any concept art yet?
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Concept art? of Zombies dancing on a pitchfork? here, this wholesome husband (RIP) and wife "performance art" team should offer some inspiration for Her Majesty
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 What in the world...? Someone with the same religious convictions would date an Amish man. Probably not someone who doesn't have the same religion.
Stung Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 They can swim, and the fast ones can swim really fast, especially those half-shark ones. I think the normal ones can crew boats. Are there Amish on your island to protect you? I am the zombie queen (no, really. I can give my credentials if you'd like), and you want to hold off the fast ones the same way you do with the slow ones. No swords, blunt weapons that don't need to be reloaded. The faster they come after you, the more force it smacks them with (Newton's first law, if I remember correctly). And the reboot of one of Romero's movies says that islands are not safe. And the Amish are so toast in a zombie apocalypse. Pitchforks get stuck. To the original question, no, I would not date a zombie. Their breath smells like death, and they bite non-consensually. That was the question, right? Pffft. I will not be taking a reboot as canon. Everyone knows zombies don't swim. Anyway, I swing a mean bat. My husband and I actually worked this out a long time ago: in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he will be in charge of inventing boobytraps and jury-rigging weaponry, I am the muscle.
Stung Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 No, no. The zombies don't use the pitchforks. They get poked by them. And then they get stuck and you have flailing zombies on a pitchfork. Which is an excellent garage band name, but a lousy survival situation. And no, don't light your zombies on fire either. Flaming zombies is a good drink name, but an equally bad situation. I'm pretty sure I drank a flaming zombie once at a tiki bar.
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