waynesworld Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I met a girl through some friends and we went out on a few dates. A couple of days after our last date, I called and left a message asking her out again. She didn't return my call so I figured she wasn't interested and moved on. About two weeks later, I got a text from her which said we should be friends. She gave me her email address and told me to send her a message if I felt like chatting. I didn't think anything of it and deleted it. Not a big deal. But, a few weeks later, I hear from one of my friends that she's pissed. She's been calling me a jerk behind my back for not responding to her text. WTF?! I could care less what this girl thinks, but she's in my group of acquaintances and I do care about what my friends think. What should I do about this?
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Ooo..this is tricky. You can either ignore it, tell your friends otherwise, or confront her. Ignoring could hurt your reputation in the short and long run. However, the drama will go away eventually once she gets over it. Telling your friends otherwise is an option, but it causes drama. It's kinda like talking about her behind her back, and it will seem like you are forcing your acquaintances to choose sides. I would avoid this option. Confronting her is also tricky. How you go about it is up to her. But she probably won't apologize or admit she did anything wrong. So basically it might just blow up in your face. .....ya this is difficult. Idk
stace79 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I would either tell the friend who told you what she said or talk to the girl directly. Just say that you tried to call her, she never responded, and so you assumed she was not interested. And then leave it at that.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I would either tell the friend who told you what she said or talk to the girl directly. Just say that you tried to call her, she never responded, and so you assumed she was not interested. And then leave it at that. Be sure to do it in front of your friends as well. That way she can't change the story when she talks to them later and you find out through a third party again. The key here is to be cool, not mean or angry, but cool, calm, and focused.
Pianiste Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Of course it wasn't very nice of her to tell your friends she thinks you're a jerk but there's no need to involve those friends even further. Contact her and explain how you asked her out again but got no reply until 2 weeks later when you got a message that she just wanted to be friends, out of the blue. Maybe she never got your message? Or there has been a silly misunderstanding that can be easily fixed? That way you keep your own dignity and you don't have to worry next time you see her in the company of some of your friends. :-)
Author waynesworld Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 She got my message. In this day and age, it's rare for voicemails to be lost. She got it, and that's why she responded with the let's-be-friends-instead text. I'm not going to get my friends involved because this is between me and her. I was hoping there would be some other way, but it looks like I'm going to have to get in touch and have a talk with her. This is all very strange; why couldn't she just have moved on? She was the one who rejected me!
Cee Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 She sounds like a total idiot and drama queen. Sending a text with her email address. That is totally stupid and I would have ignored the text, too. There's no winning at her game so do what makes you feel strong and is best for you. You might be able to "make nice" by teasing her for being such a wuss and sending her email address. Tell her if she wants to be friends, she can (wo)man up and call you to hang out sometime.
mr.dream merchant Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Sounds like you dodged a bullet. You're labeled a jerk because you didn't give the princess what she wanted. I say don't say anything, if people want to know about it they'll ask. You know what the truth is. So does she. Let's wash our hands and move forward.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Sounds like you dodged a bullet. You're labeled a jerk because you didn't give the princess what she wanted. I say don't say anything, if people want to know about it they'll ask. You know what the truth is. So does she. Let's wash our hands and move forward. I like this statement, and suggest you follow it.
guy777 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) You shouldn't have deleted the text, but instead replied with "ok" or "of course". This might be bad advice, but since she is being a little bitch about it, you can really piss her off and send a new text saying, "I heard I missed a text from you, of course we are friends." Save it to your phone in case your friends want visual evidence you sent it. Here you have her friends betraying her confidence. And your friends can't say you weren't being nice by outward appearances, but down deep everyone will know that you are messing with her. If she doesn't get pissed and uses that as an excuse to start contacting you all the time, you might be able to use her for meeting other girls, if you want. But if she keeps bugging you too much because she changed her mind about you and really wants to be with you, then you'll have to take a different approach to get rid her, like reminding her that you guys are "just friends". Edited May 10, 2011 by guy777
guy777 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 By the way, never ask someone out on voicemail. And only leave a "call me" voicemail after you've called a few times and they aren't picking up.
sagetalk Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Tell your friends you asked her out and she blew you off. What's so complicated about that? Any guy will understand why you don't' want to talk to her. Do you want to be just friends with her? If so, chat with her and she'll tell you all about how she has a crush on some other guy. No thanks.
thatdog Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 IDK. I know a lot of people (myself included) that rarely if ever check their voicemail. I check mine about once every month or so. I usually just return missed calls without checking messages or wait for them to txt/call me again. This has actually led me to occasionally miss messages because my phone won't register missed calls if it is switched off or out of range. I think that whilst unlikely it is still entirely possible that she missed you voicemail. Regardless it really isn't that difficult to give her the benefit of the doubt and just call her and tell her that you left a voicemail, never got a response and assumed you had been brushed off. You can tell her you didn't respond to the txt because you don't like being friendzoned by girls you are dating and would rather go NC for a while before deciding whether it's ok to get back in contact.
Recommended Posts