fishtaco Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I think many women are attracted to power. You can put any label on that you want. But that's the core of it. Money is an obvious way to show power and the easiest to recognize. Some women want a man who is "powerful" in a particular area. Maybe the hottest guy, the one who is most popular, who dances the best, etc. Some women like men who hold positions that they equate with power: A boss, policeman, military, etc. Broken women think an abusive man is powerful. Some think that a man acting like a jerk/bully is powerful. That's very interesting. I think your post makes a lot of sense.
mr.dream merchant Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 And what women want matters.........why? Only thing that matters is what matters to you. If she has a demeanor that bothers you, you look her squarely in the eyes and you say to her "You know what, **** your mind." and walk out of the room. When you stop becoming slave to the wants/needs of unjust, fanatical, and unrealistic women, and basically just women period....you'll find yourself in a happier and more easy going world.
musemaj11 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I think many women are attracted to power. You mean 'status'.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Seriously, I can't believe that some of the men on this forum have the audacity to get upset that a woman would want a partner who has a job, a car, and his own place...just what is so 'gold digging' about that? How does that even translate to wanting someone to pay her bills for her? She just wants a man who can take care of himself. Nobody wants to get into a relationship with a man who is a burden, and needs another person to carry them over in life. I find it telling how the men seem to be upset that the women who are independent and live on their own don't want to date them...yet they don't seem to care about dating the ones who are just as jobless and dependent as they are... Well I think anyone can want whatever they want. If women want a guy who has his own place then so be it. But, I think most of the guys took umbrage with the generalizations made about those who do live at home (i.e. they're lazy, selfish, childlike, losers, etc.). Many of the guys who lived at home (and some who lived in their own place but with relatives) had fairly legitimate reasons for why they lived at home. I'm a 23 year old who lives at home. But, in two weeks I'll have my college degree, and I have a plan to eventually move out in 6-12 months. If I met a girl with a similar situation, sure I'd date her. I don't think that's being unreasonable.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Let's get real. If I had a million/billion dollars, I would pay for a primary caregiver for my grandma, buy my mom her own house, and pay for my own house. Since I'm broke, and a college student, and my grandma is sick and none of my other relatives give a flying crap what happens to her (except for my mom), I am helping out.
musemaj11 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) This is pretty much the way I do things. I'll date or have a casual relationship with any woman I find attractive. I can pull many a gold digger being a pretty decent looking guy who is a doctor. However, I only consider those that have a solid career of their own as long-term mates. I strongly prefer a woman that is capable of making at least as much as me. This pragmatic 'game plan' is instilled in every woman's mind by her mother since a young age and passed on through generations practically everywhere in the world. "Be with whoever you want but in the end look for a rich good man to marry." Unfortunately, young boys arent taught the same life advice regarding the importance of wealth and status in the equation when searching for a mate. At the moment, a very hot, but flaky chick near me with not so great career prospects (figure maybe $40k a year) kind of likes me (she dropped me for a month and then hit me up out of the blue). I am also talking to a cool, cute woman long distance who is a surgeon and just got a job offer for $500k/year. What do you think I am going to do? You are a smart man. I feel sorry for for men who have it all yet dont know how to take maximum advantage of what they have. Working hard all their lives to achieve financial success only to throw it all on the next dumb blonde they meet. I mean Tiger Woods wouldnt have lost a big chunk of his assets if he wasnt stupid enough to marry the hot nanny. Even if he didnt 'sign a contract' with her, she wouldnt have run anywhere anyway. He made a terrible business move. If you have the money and you want to be surrounded by hot women, do like what Charlie Sheen does. Party with hot pornstars everyday without giving them a legal right to a portion of your assets. Edited May 10, 2011 by musemaj11
Sanman Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) This pragmatic 'game plan' is instilled in every woman's mind by her mother since a young age and passed on through generations practically everywhere in the world. "Be with whoever you want but in the end look for a rich good man to marry." Unfortunately, young boys arent taught the same life advice regarding the importance of wealth and status in the equation when searching for a mate. You are a smart man. I feel sorry for for men who have it all yet dont know how to take maximum advantage of what they have. Working hard all their lives to achieve financial success only to throw it all on the next dumb blonde they meet. I mean Tiger Woods wouldnt have lost a big chunk of his assets if he wasnt stupid enough to marry the hot nanny. Even if he didnt 'sign a contract' with her, she wouldnt have run anywhere anyway. He made a terrible business move. If you have the money and you want to be surrounded by hot women, do like what Charlie Sheen does. Party with hot pornstars everyday without giving them a legal right to a portion of your assets. It is also what the wealthy have done for generations in many cultures to consolidate their wealth. I see it all the time. I have a female friend who is a model here in NYC. She is on/off dating an investment banker from a very wealthy and well-known NYC family (we are talking Corporate CEO wealthy). She grew up in the upper middle class 'burbs. She is trying to move up in the world and he is using her as arm candy for the moment until he likely settles down with some rich girl he knows from Groton or Yale. It is the way of the world if you are smart enough to realize it. I'm sure he will be cheating on the rich girl with my friend even after he is married. The funny thing is that many of these women will continue to take scraps from the top than even date a guy in my position most of the time. Fairy tales truly are the greatest marketing campaign ever. Every woman still thinks she can be Kate Middleton. By the way, Prince William still lives with his parents and yet women never complain about him being a momma's boy who didn't grow up. Edited May 10, 2011 by Sanman
musemaj11 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 It is also what the wealthy have done for generations in many cultures to consolidate their wealth. I see it all the time. I have a female friend who is a model here in NYC. She is on/off dating an investment banker from a very wealthy and well-known NYC family (we are talking Corporate CEO wealthy). She grew up in the upper middle class 'burbs. She is trying to move up in the world and he is using her as arm candy for the moment until he likely settles down with some rich girl he knows from Groton or Yale. It is the way of the world if you are smart enough to realize it. I'm sure he will be cheating on the rich girl with my friend even after he is married. The funny thing is that many of these women will continue to take scraps from the top than even date a guy in my position most of the time. It seems to me that people from old money families already know the deal and how things work in this world. I guess its the new moneys who tend to be the naive ones due to their inexperience with their newly found status. A nobody who just became a millionaire through personal hardwork would take pride in having a hot model as a wife while someone from a long line of wealthy family would snicker at the guy for stupidly putting his hard-earned success at risk for a woman when he can get ten different women like her everyday at a much lower risk and cost. By the way, Prince William still lives with his parents and yet women never complain about him being a momma's boy who didn't grow up. Does he even have a job?
denise_xo Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 And its true. Look at the threads with 30 years olds living with their parents and men being providers and what not. Women place value on how much money a man has and twist it around calling it "ambition" "responsible" "independent" "provider". Women want to be taken care of and have to look for men who can do it. Does it makes them gold diggers? maybe. Should men care? maybe. But guess what. I'm a man and i got a little gold digger in me to. If I see a woman with a nice car and a nice house she would be 10 times more attractive than her without the stuff. Now I'm not trying to bash women and generalizing but i just wanted to tackle the real debate instead of focusing on little things. I married someone who was broke. My ex before that however made **** loads of money. One data point.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I don't agree OP. There are plenty of women with unemployed men living on benefits, some even drug addicts or alcoholics. Just watch Jeremy Kyle, Jerry Springer, or take a walk around a rough neighbourhood.
phineas Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Would I date a girl who had no money or a job? Yeah sure! That is the difference between men and women. Men are satisfied with girls who are themselves. Women, on the other hand, want men to be just like themselves. Operative term is "date". But would you marry someone with no job or money? though, once she divorces you, she still probably won't have a job, but she'll have some money. Your money.
phineas Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I don't agree OP. There are plenty of women with unemployed men living on benefits, some even drug addicts or alcoholics. Just watch Jeremy Kyle, Jerry Springer, or take a walk around a rough neighbourhood. Yeah, just create an account on POF, their out there & their waiting for you.
musemaj11 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 though, once she divorces you, she still probably won't have a job, but she'll have some money. Your money. Which she will spend it all in a blink of an eye anyway thus sending her back to square one. Studies show that after divorce, men get richer while women get poorer. They try to give an intellectual explanation for it but the reason is pretty obvious. One side know how to make money while the other side only know how to spend it.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 You know, I thought about it more, and...no. I wouldn't date someone with no money. Therefore, I need to put dating on the backburner for now, at least until I find another job. I'm sure that I am capable of getting a job, and my living situation is temporary, but I wouldn't date myself right now, and I can't really fault women for not wanting to date me, either. It's not the way I look, either. I could stand to lose a few pounds, and I need to start lifting weights, but that can wait. I think I'm gonna stick around on here, but to learn about relationships, so that when I do end up in one, I'll know what to do. I don't want to date right now. Anyway, my point is that women do (and should) care about how much money a guy makes. If he's going to be a father, he needs to be able to support any possible children. (Now, if she doesn't want children, and he doesn't either, and they don't plan on starting a family, then money shouldn't matter. Except on a purely survival basis.)
orangelady Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 How about learn to provide for your own security instead of always hoping to use others? How about men trying to be a little hardworking to improve their lives by getting a job or going back to studies instead of relying on govt aid?
orangelady Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Anyway, my point is that women do (and should) care about how much money a guy makes. If he's going to be a father, he needs to be able to support any possible children. I think they care whether you care enough to do what it takes for both of you to live comfortably. (and by this, I don't mean that she isn't working either).
donnamaybe Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 My philosophy is "I can take care of myself. Just don't drag me down." So - if a man doesn't have a bunch of money BUT has a great work ethic and either HAS a job or is diligently looking for one, that's fine. I would NOT, however, be with a man who is irresponsible and careless with finances.
Sanman Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 My philosophy is "I can take care of myself. Just don't drag me down." So - if a man doesn't have a bunch of money BUT has a great work ethic and either HAS a job or is diligently looking for one, that's fine. I would NOT, however, be with a man who is irresponsible and careless with finances. This is a pretty good philosophy in IMO. I just think that more men need to adopt this philosophy. While I am not necessarily asking to be taken care of, I do want a woman who pulls in a similar income as I do/will so that I can live roughly the same lifestyle I would if I were single. That means she needs approximately a minimum $75k/yr. A poster above said that he would not blame a woman for not wanting a broke man because he has to provide for a family. In this day and age of equal rights and responsibilities I think it is important for both partners to bring a good salary to raise a family.
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