salty goodness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Have lived and dated in Manhattan also, and the problem is that "gainfully employed and independent, not momma's boy, perpetual adolescent or moocher" so often is female code for "he must make significantly more than I do or I will just wait for one who does (or until my looks start to fade), and in the meantime, will falsely characterize men who aren't that investment banker with a bunch of negative labels that don't describe very many actual men at all." i was in no way talking in code - i own my own apartment i have a very good job where i supervise a number of people, i have my own retirement and investment plans. when i say i want someone who is independent and gainfully employed i mean just that someone who does not want to be taken care of like a 12 year old boy someone who would be an equal partner and since i don't want children there is no chance of him having to support me while i stay home and take care of the kiddies.
TheLoneSock Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 take a really pretty girl without the clothes You can stop right there
stace79 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Have lived and dated in Manhattan also, and the problem is that "gainfully employed and independent, not momma's boy, perpetual adolescent or moocher" so often is female code for "he must make significantly more than I do or I will just wait for one who does (or until my looks start to fade), and in the meantime, will falsely characterize men who aren't that investment banker with a bunch of negative labels that don't describe very many actual men at all." That is why I will never live in Manhattan. Or NYC in general. Too much superficiality. Miami is getting to be like that, too.
Darren Taylor Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 That is why I will never live in Manhattan. Or NYC in general. Too much superficiality. Miami is getting to be like that, too. Southern Cal(especially in Los Angeles county) is just as bad as NYC.
alphamale Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 trust me dude, if a guy is good looking enough he doesn't need money to get chick... the money part only helps
Darren Taylor Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 trust me dude, if a guy is good looking enough he doesn't need money to get chick... the money part only helps Exactly. I've already learned that. I can be nice, a d*ck, rich, poor; it doesn't matter.
westernxer Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Southern Cal(especially in Los Angeles county) is just as bad as NYC. I'm always surprised at how easy it is to hook up when I'm visiting other regions. People don't waste time, it seems, though I still love SoCal and what it has to offer.
Sanman Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Have lived and dated in Manhattan also, and the problem is that "gainfully employed and independent, not momma's boy, perpetual adolescent or moocher" so often is female code for "he must make significantly more than I do or I will just wait for one who does (or until my looks start to fade), and in the meantime, will falsely characterize men who aren't that investment banker with a bunch of negative labels that don't describe very many actual men at all." That is NYC though. I have had women reject me because my apt was in Brooklyn and they don't want to date anyone who doesn't live in Manhattan. That is perfectly fine by me and these are usually also the women who want me to pickup $200 dinners for them. Dated one of those recently and she was not worth the money. In the end, these values are a big part of what broke us up.
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Which is not me, or the guy who started that thread, or anybody on here (as far as I know.) BINGO! In describing men, due to the BS of feminism, it has become obligatory to only discuss men in terms of the lowest common denominators to add credence to otherwise terribly bad arguments United States men, for the last 50 years, have been characterized by political interests and media as either rapists, abusively violent, deadbeat dads, momma's boys, corrupt businessmen (unless they are black or gay, those are exempt from corporate corruption ), lazy and unemployed, incapable of day to day tasks without a "wise, all-knowing" female caregiver in their lives, etc. This negative characterization has trickled down into common talk to such an extent that men who live at home are automatically "unemployed and lazy, taken care of by their mothers," men who are unemployed are always so of their own fault, etc. It's time for women, who bristle at being "objectified," to drink their own medicine.
alphamale Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 ... though I still love SoCal and what it has to offer. i especially love the smog *cough cough*
westernxer Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 trust me dude, if a guy is good looking enough he doesn't need money to get chick... the money part only helps I've heard many a chick complain about dating hot guys who are broke. Biological imperatives are fun to observe. i especially love the smog *cough cough* It's practice for the annual physical when the doctor asks you to drop your drawers. LOL
Darren Taylor Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I'm always surprised at how easy it is to hook up when I'm visiting other regions. People don't waste time, it seems, though I still love SoCal and what it has to offer. Our population is about half of NYC's, so it makes sense that it's easier to hook up there. I do love living here. The weather is nice year round and I live in a nice area. i especially love the smog *cough cough* That's in the downtown area. Where I am(on the water), it's not bad at all. I've heard many a chick complain about dating hot guys who are broke. Biological imperatives are fun to observe. Yet they continue to date them.
Author Mangomonkey Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Of course you dont need money to get a girl. You dont need to look good either. You could be the most awkward person in the room. Some booze and persistance will make anyone look awesome no matter what. Just gotta keep trying and aim for the right women. Just gotta remember. Dating leading to relationships have more factors when it come to something long term. Money, looks, family, whatever. Dating leading to sex have very few factors. If you look good or just got a magic touch or know how to talk to women then your good. You dont even need to know how to talk to women. Just say hi to women who show interest in you and see where it gets you. But i feel like the thread is getting a bit off topic. I was pointing out money in general and not "momma's boys" living with their parents. Me personally I wouldn't care if a girl rejected me for living with my parents. (If i did). I would be proud to be a Momma's boy. Cause i Love my Momma
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 sounds kinda mean... Sorry if the concept "so often" qualifying my prior post has eluded you. Neither my marital status, nor yours, has anything to do with the validity of arguments made here. Finally, have you ever lived and dated in Manhattan for a significant amount of time? My comment was limited to dating in Manhattan.
musemaj11 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Women place value on how much money a man has and twist it around calling it "ambition" "responsible" "independent" "provider". Lol, yea thats funniest crap. "Im not attracted to his money. Im just attracted to his achievements." Yeah right. :rolleyes: Its just like me saying, "Im not attracted to her beauty. Im just attracted to her aesthetic harmony." Women are attracted to financial resources for the same reason they are attracted to muscles: security. Let's stop beating around the bush. Men don't like fat or ugly women. How about learn to provide for your own security instead of always hoping to use others? Also yes men dont like fugly women. But its not like women like fugly men either ...
Sanman Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Many of the women complaining about this issue should have a better long-term plan. I have met women with the 'living at home' issue that are still much farther behind in the getting their life together process than I am. Sure they have jobs and money now, but they are planning on grad school in the future whereas I am done and starting to pay off my loans. The irony of these women is that when I am settled and making a six figure salary, I won't want them. Instead I will want a woman who is already done with school and making a similar salary as me. I have already found a few in the same position as me and building for the future. Just something to think about...perhaps a few of them should have listened to Kanye in 'Gold digger'. :lmao:
alphamale Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 only two things will get you chicks - looks or money. if you have both then you'll get more chicks. period.
Darren Taylor Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 only two things will get you chicks - looks or money. if you have both then you'll get more chicks. period. Being at the high end of one of them is rare. Having both is even more rare. The main difference is looks will get you noticed faster. There are plenty of rich people I know that look like slobs. You'd never guess they were rich.
musemaj11 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) Many of the women complaining about this issue should have a better long-term plan. I have met women with the 'living at home' issue that are still much farther behind in the getting their life together process than I am. Sure they have jobs and money now, but they are planning on grad school in the future whereas I am done and starting to pay off my loans. The irony of these women is that when I am settled and making a six figure salary, I won't want them. Instead I will want a woman who is already done with school and making a similar salary as me. I have already found a few in the same position as me and building for the future. Just something to think about...perhaps a few of them should have listened to Kanye in 'Gold digger'. :lmao: Men should be smarter these days. They should do more like women do. Have fun with the most beautiful women you can get. But when it comes to long term relationship, find the one who will give you the most long term benefit. Find a woman with good financial status and good career. Dont settle down with the beautiful but broke woman. You are only going to set yourself up to getting screwed in the future by doing that. If you want to marry, try to marry up or at least marry your equal. If you plan to look for your future mate in college, look for a girl with engineering major, not the one with fashion design or psychology. Just be smart guys. Beat women at their own game. Edited May 9, 2011 by musemaj11
Ruby Slippers Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I could have married a man that would have paid all my bills. I politely declined. I want someone to serve as a PARTNER and that can be supportive to me and vice versa. Same here. I was with a guy who was perfect on paper, very good-looking, charming, successful, blah, blah, and he came right out and told me that he planned to make a lot of money and I didn't need to work and could do whatever I wanted with my time. He wasn't the right guy for me, though, so I didn't take him up on it. If presented with two 30-year-old men, one who had a million dollars in the bank and lived with his parents, and one who made a modest income but was independent, lived on his own, and had some healthy separation from the parents, I would choose the man who lived on his own, absolutely no question.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I guess women value different things. Some women value independence. Some value money and social status. Some value looks. Some value intelligence. It's a broad brush that can't apply to all women at once.
Jazzari Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I think many women are attracted to power. You can put any label on that you want. But that's the core of it. Money is an obvious way to show power and the easiest to recognize. Some women want a man who is "powerful" in a particular area. Maybe the hottest guy, the one who is most popular, who dances the best, etc. Some women like men who hold positions that they equate with power: A boss, policeman, military, etc. Broken women think an abusive man is powerful. Some think that a man acting like a jerk/bully is powerful.
salty goodness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I guess women value different things. Some women value independence. Some value money and social status. Some value looks. Some value intelligence. It's a broad brush that can't apply to all women at once. individual human beings regardless of their gender value different things depending on one's ethnic, cultural and even religious background. this is why making broad generalizations about either men or women is so problematic. btw LITM my comments beforehand about men living with their parents did not in any way apply to your situation i think what you're doing going to school and being responsible for another person who needs your assistance is a wonderful thing. i have an aunt who did this with my grandma who had Alzheimer's and it is not easy.
cerridwen Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I guess women value different things. Some women value independence. Some value money and social status. Some value looks. Some value intelligence. It's a broad brush that can't apply to all women at once. Thank you, LITM!
Sanman Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Men should be smarter these days. They should do more like women do. Have fun with the most beautiful women you can get. But when it comes to long term relationship, find the one who will give you the most long term benefit. Find a woman with good financial status and good career. Dont settle down with the beautiful but broke woman. You are only going to set yourself up to getting screwed in the future by doing that. If you want to marry, try to marry up or at least marry your equal. If you plan to look for your future mate in college, look for a girl with engineering major, not the one with fashion design or psychology. Just be smart guys. Beat women at their own game. This is pretty much the way I do things. I'll date or have a casual relationship with any woman I find attractive. I can pull many a gold digger being a pretty decent looking guy who is a doctor. However, I only consider those that have a solid career of their own as long-term mates. I strongly prefer a woman that is capable of making at least as much as me. At the moment, a very hot, but flaky chick near me with not so great career prospects (figure maybe $40k a year) kind of likes me (she dropped me for a month and then hit me up out of the blue). I am also talking to a cool, cute woman long distance who is a surgeon and just got a job offer for $500k/year. What do you think I am going to do?
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