Mangomonkey Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 And its true. Look at the threads with 30 years olds living with their parents and men being providers and what not. Women place value on how much money a man has and twist it around calling it "ambition" "responsible" "independent" "provider". Women want to be taken care of and have to look for men who can do it. Does it makes them gold diggers? maybe. Should men care? maybe. But guess what. I'm a man and i got a little gold digger in me to. If I see a woman with a nice car and a nice house she would be 10 times more attractive than her without the stuff. Now I'm not trying to bash women and generalizing but i just wanted to tackle the real debate instead of focusing on little things.
stace79 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 If a man had a setback and had to move home temporarily, I could live with that. If he'd been living at home for a year and was happy mooching off his mommy, then yes, I'd have a problem. I'm by no means financially stable yet. But I have my own place, I pay my bills, and I'm working hard. I don't expect a man to come in and take on any of my debt, but I do expect him to be able to manage his own. Not to mention that my parents are not well off and wouldn't pay for a wedding like old times, so me and the bf would have to come up for that money if/when we decided to get married. Or what if you wanna buy a house someday? I mean you can't live off your mommy forever.
ZebraPants Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 And its true. Look at the threads with 30 years olds living with their parents and men being providers and what not. Women place value on how much money a man has and twist it around calling it "ambition" "responsible" "independent" "provider". Women want to be taken care of and have to look for men who can do it. Does it makes them gold diggers? maybe. Should men care? maybe. But guess what. I'm a man and i got a little gold digger in me to. If I see a woman with a nice car and a nice house she would be 10 times more attractive than her without the stuff. Now I'm not trying to bash women and generalizing but i just wanted to tackle the real debate instead of focusing on little things. I don't want to be taken care of. I pay all my own bills and split the rent and everything else with my bf. I see nothing attractive about a man that won't move into his own place though.
Author Mangomonkey Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 I know what your saying. No woman wants a moocher who can't support himself. In the end however a man will have to support the woman. If they ever intend to have a family together. Everything will be he have his own and she have is own until children come up. She might most likely stop working and begin to rely on the man alot more if not completely. Most women want a man who can support them at times such as this or any other time. Even men paying for dates is a small sign of that. Women want to be taken care of. And to take care of a woman requires money. Men make most the money of the the women will look at the money as a factor for dating/relationship. This does not include ONS/FWB etc. If a man looks like he doesn't have money or seems like he isnt able to take care of himself. A woman will not want him because if he can't take care of himself then he may not be able to take care of her. Simple as that. Now there are exceptions. But there aren't too many.
Author Mangomonkey Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Now i can go on to say stuff about men but it might go off topic. All Im gonna say is that we all are superficial in some way or form. Disagree with me or not but you know its true. And if its not true for you then you are a treasure.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 If a man had a setback and had to move home temporarily, I could live with that. If he'd been living at home for a year and was happy mooching off his mommy, then yes, I'd have a problem. I'm by no means financially stable yet. But I have my own place, I pay my bills, and I'm working hard. I don't expect a man to come in and take on any of my debt, but I do expect him to be able to manage his own. Not to mention that my parents are not well off and wouldn't pay for a wedding like old times, so me and the bf would have to come up for that money if/when we decided to get married. Or what if you wanna buy a house someday? I mean you can't live off your mommy forever. Translation: I am not happy paying my own bills. I want men to pay bills for me. I value money, and define it as independence.
tb24 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Eh? I'm sure what girls don't want is a guy who can't look after himself. And yes, money is a part of that. Would you date a girl who had no money or job? It works both ways. I don't see what the problem is with wanting a partner who is able to live independently. For either men and women that's a good trait.
ZebraPants Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Eh? I'm sure what girls don't want is a guy who can't look after himself. And yes, money is a part of that. Would you date a girl who had no money or job? It works both ways. I don't see what the problem is with wanting a partner who is able to live independently. For either men and women that's a good trait. I think some men here are taking offense is because the post struck a nerve, where they live.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Would I date a girl who had no money or a job? Yeah sure! That is the difference between men and women. Men are satisfied with girls who are themselves. Women, on the other hand, want men to be just like themselves.
salty goodness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I know what your saying. No woman wants a moocher who can't support himself. In the end however a man will have to support the woman. If they ever intend to have a family together. Everything will be he have his own and she have is own until children come up. She might most likely stop working and begin to rely on the man alot more if not completely. Most women want a man who can support them at times such as this or any other time. Even men paying for dates is a small sign of that. Women want to be taken care of. And to take care of a woman requires money. Men make most the money of the the women will look at the money as a factor for dating/relationship. This does not include ONS/FWB etc. If a man looks like he doesn't have money or seems like he isnt able to take care of himself. A woman will not want him because if he can't take care of himself then he may not be able to take care of her. Simple as that. Now there are exceptions. But there aren't too many. i wonder where you live because in ny city where i am and where there are so many female professionals your particular scenario does not work. most women have their children and soon after are back to work. i actually know a number of couples where the man is the caregiver for the children and this is becoming more common everyday. some lost their jobs because of the lousy economy others work from home and take care of the kids as well. i have a really good job and earn a very nice living and i own my own place (it's small but it's mine) so i don't need any man to take care of me financially. because of my situation i would never date anyone who wasn't gainfully employed and independent because i have no time to waist on momma's boys, perpetual adolescents or moochers.
MissJoness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Translation: I am not happy paying my own bills. I want men to pay bills for me. I value money, and define it as independence. That is not what the poster was implying at all. Seriously, I can't believe that some of the men on this forum have the audacity to get upset that a woman would want a partner who has a job, a car, and his own place...just what is so 'gold digging' about that? How does that even translate to wanting someone to pay her bills for her? She just wants a man who can take care of himself. Nobody wants to get into a relationship with a man who is a burden, and needs another person to carry them over in life. I find it telling how the men seem to be upset that the women who are independent and live on their own don't want to date them...yet they don't seem to care about dating the ones who are just as jobless and dependent as they are...
MissJoness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Would I date a girl who had no money or a job? Yeah sure! That is the difference between men and women. Men are satisfied with girls who are themselves. Women, on the other hand, want men to be just like themselves. That is a lie. Many of the men here complain about "golddiggers", and a woman with no money and no job, dating a financially stable guy would defintely be accused of being a golddigger.
stace79 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Translation: I am not happy paying my own bills. I want men to pay bills for me. I value money, and define it as independence. I could have married a man that would have paid all my bills. I politely declined. I want someone to serve as a PARTNER and that can be supportive to me and vice versa. If WE decided WE wanted to get pregnant, then WE could decide if I would stay home or go back to work or take extra maternity leave or whatever. Likewise, I have insurance to cover things like one of us getting ill and being unable to work. It's about being a team. If he got laid off for awhile, I would have no trouble picking up the slack until he found new work. I'd expect the same from him.
ZebraPants Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 That is not what the poster was implying at all. Seriously, I can't believe that some of the men on this forum have the audacity to get upset that a woman would want a partner who has a job, a car, and his own place...just what is so 'gold digging' about that? How does that even translate to wanting someone to pay her bills for her? She just wants a man who can take care of himself. Nobody wants to get into a relationship with a man who is a burden, and needs another person to carry them over in life. I find it telling how the men seem to be upset that the women who are independent and live on their own don't want to date them...yet they don't seem to care about dating the ones who are just as jobless and dependent as they are... They are so used to crying to Mommy. So they cry here too.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 i am a 25 year old man who lives with his parents, and I have a full time job. Why you may ask? Simple. All my money is going into savings so I can make a nice, large, down payment on a car. To do that I have to give up getting my own place, at least for now. If I didn't get the car, I could easily get my own apartment. But really, whats the point of getting my own place if I have no car to get me to work? Doesn't make sense. Sometimes people live at home because its a temporary advantage. My case, getting a car, then I can move out and get my own place. It sucks, but so is life, you just do what you can to get by.
stace79 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 i am a 25 year old man who lives with his parents, and I have a full time job. Why you may ask? Simple. All my money is going into savings so I can make a nice, large, down payment on a car. To do that I have to give up getting my own place, at least for now. If I didn't get the car, I could easily get my own apartment. But really, whats the point of getting my own place if I have no car to get me to work? Doesn't make sense. Sometimes people live at home because its a temporary advantage. My case, getting a car, then I can move out and get my own place. It sucks, but so is life, you just do what you can to get by. You have a legitimate reason, and you have a plan, and you're also not 30 or older. And it sounds like you are working hard to reach your goals. That is a lot different from some guy who just is lazy and wants to mooch.
salty goodness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 i am a 25 year old man who lives with his parents, and I have a full time job. Why you may ask? Simple. All my money is going into savings so I can make a nice, large, down payment on a car. To do that I have to give up getting my own place, at least for now. If I didn't get the car, I could easily get my own apartment. But really, whats the point of getting my own place if I have no car to get me to work? Doesn't make sense. Sometimes people live at home because its a temporary advantage. My case, getting a car, then I can move out and get my own place. It sucks, but so is life, you just do what you can to get by. but you are 25 and working and saving your money for an important purchase you are not a 35 yr old man who either won't work or barely works, living with your parents with no plan or intention of moving out. we are talking about grown men whose mothers still wash their underwear for them, and cook all their meals, and clean their rooms, and pay the bills et al.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 but you are 25 and working and saving your money for an important purchase you are not a 35 yr old man who either won't work or barely works, living with your parents with no plan or intention of moving out. we are talking about grown men whose mothers still wash their underwear for them, and cook all their meals, and clean their rooms, and pay the bills et al. Which is not me, or the guy who started that thread, or anybody on here (as far as I know.) That is what's confusing about this whole "I won't date someone who still lives at home" bit. Nobody on here has stated that they're mooching off their parents, yet the women on here seem to think that they're still unattractive anyways. Makes me believe the saying "there's never any pleasing a woman." If it isn't living at home, there will be some other excuse why a woman won't date you. Picky picky picky...
stace79 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Which is not me, or the guy who started that thread, or anybody on here (as far as I know.) That is what's confusing about this whole "I won't date someone who still lives at home" bit. Nobody on here has stated that they're mooching off their parents, yet the women on here seem to think that they're still unattractive anyways. Makes me believe the saying "there's never any pleasing a woman." If it isn't living at home, there will be some other excuse why a woman won't date you. Picky picky picky... Talk about no pleasing someone. The OP presented the scenario. If he didn't want comment, there wasn't much sense in writing on a discussion forum. And like it or not, but ladies on here on responding. So, you can either be pissy about it and tell us why we're wrong, or you can ensure you're not becoming something that's a complete turn off.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Talk about no pleasing someone. The OP presented the scenario. If he didn't want comment, there wasn't much sense in writing on a discussion forum. And like it or not, but ladies on here on responding. So, you can either be pissy about it and tell us why we're wrong, or you can ensure you're not becoming something that's a complete turn off. Same to you. Controlling women aren't very attractive, either.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I have heard a lot from women about not dating anyone who lives at home. Before my current situation, I tried asking a lot of women out. I will admit, I told a bit of a lie, by saying I had very rude roommates and it would not be appropriate to go back to my place. Technically its true, to a certain extent, but also a little white lie.
sanskrit Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 i would never date anyone who wasn't gainfully employed and independent because i have no time to waist on momma's boys, perpetual adolescents or moochers. Have lived and dated in Manhattan also, and the problem is that "gainfully employed and independent, not momma's boy, perpetual adolescent or moocher" so often is female code for "he must make significantly more than I do or I will just wait for one who does (or until my looks start to fade), and in the meantime, will falsely characterize men who aren't that investment banker with a bunch of negative labels that don't describe very many actual men at all."
milkmaterial Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 And its true. Look at the threads with 30 years olds living with their parents and men being providers and what not. Women place value on how much money a man has and twist it around calling it "ambition" "responsible" "independent" "provider". Women want to be taken care of and have to look for men who can do it. Does it makes them gold diggers? maybe. Should men care? maybe. But guess what. I'm a man and i got a little gold digger in me to. If I see a woman with a nice car and a nice house she would be 10 times more attractive than her without the stuff. Now I'm not trying to bash women and generalizing but i just wanted to tackle the real debate instead of focusing on little things. that is very true, when i was in high school ive seen a lot of guys go for the really rich girls, even tho they werent super pretty but they had nice cars and nice clothes nice cellphones.. take a really pretty girl without the clothes car or cellphones maybe she wouldnt seem pretty to the guys. drab clothing, semi poor hygeine, name it. that sort of goes w/ a broke guy if this broke guy wants to remain being broke and wallow in self pity. how can you love someone you dont admire? i firmly believe though, dont leave the person you love jsut because you fell through some tough times. these are what we call trials. but if they were like that to begin with it might just be like that for a long time esp. if they dont want to fix it.
milkmaterial Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Have lived and dated in Manhattan also, and the problem is that "gainfully employed and independent, not momma's boy, perpetual adolescent or moocher" so often is female code for "he must make significantly more than I do or I will just wait for one who does (or until my looks start to fade), and in the meantime, will falsely characterize men who aren't that investment banker with a bunch of negative labels that don't describe very many actual men at all." sounds kinda mean, i take it you're single? not all women are like that, and because you think like that, you are gonna attract those kind into your life. maybe some women are like that for a reason, and maybe the reason would be that men make significantly more than a woman does. and if the woman makes more than the man there will be so much **** (insecurity, long hours apart for the woman making the man insecure or jealous etc).
TheLoneSock Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Women are attracted to financial resources for the same reason they are attracted to muscles: security. Let's stop beating around the bush. Men don't like fat or ugly women. See what I did there..
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