sagobro Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Hey guys..It seems like a lot of the people on this board are going through very similar experiences. Hopefully you guys can help me out; I met my gf about 6 months ago. It was a perfect relationship. We got along so well and no hitches whatsover. I believe we did go extremely fast and I think what happened the past couple of weeks was a result of that. Just to give you an abridged version, my gf(ex) is the more passive aggressive person out of us. I like to nip things in the bud and at times I tend to overreact about miniscule things. Heres when I felt like I got completely blind sided; Exactly one week ago, I try to get in touch with her. I was having a really bad day, work wasn't going well and I'm having some problems at home. She didn't respond to me the whole day and I was truly upset. She then comes over later that night and acts extremely distant towards me. I try to get it out of her and she finally opens up and says she wants to be alone and that she can't do US anymore. Outside of work, I am a very logical and driven person but for some reason I still take things to heart and I overreact. This is my number 1 flaw. I act out of emotion with interpersonal relationships. My reaction to her news was not pretty. I broke down and asked her a questions as to why she was doing this. We had a beach trip lined up for this past weekend that I was truly looking forward to. It didn't make any sense. The weekend before she told me the devastating news, her friends were in town and I thought everything was going so well... Fast forward to this past weekend. I decide to give her space and she agreed to go on this trip. Little did I know that this was going to be the most miserable vacation ever! The first day was fine and we were having a good time but when I tried to be affectionate she pulled away. She opened up again and told me she didn't lead me on. This weekend was filled with similar instances. The car ride home was the most excruciating part of the trip. We were about an hour from my place driving back and I finally convinced myself that we were done. But here's the kicker... We get back and all i'm expecting is for her to get her stuff, drop off my apt key and part way.....We end up having dinner and being affectionate at my place until late as if nothing ever happeend. I didn't want to say anything bc it was so perfect. When she left, I kissed her good night and we both said "I love you." I am completely baffled by the whole situation. She did NOT take any of her clothes, stuff or returned my key? What gives?? I've decided to implement "NC" and see what happens but am I wasting my time? I'm a wreck right now and I'm clueless as what to do. I'm willing to change how I react to things. I just felt like she didn't give me the opportunity! Is this still salvageable??
ShatteredReality Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I am not convinced you have the whole story....BUT...it's not over until it's over. So, yes it's possible you two could still work out - but you'll have to tone down your overreacting some. Give her her space and if she misses you then great...however if she moves on with her life and doesn't look back at you then you have your answer - as painful as that may be. Maybe have limited contact with her instead of NC. NC is more for getting over a person rather than moving forward and fixing things. Do some research...find ways to better control your initial emotional reactions. A journal helps a lot of people...when you feel a huge spark of emotion go and write it all down. If you still feel strongly enough about it later then you can share with her these emotions...but this way you'll have time to make it more logical the way that you approach it rather than bombarding her in some way....
rayne05us Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 If you know this is a flaw of yours, get the help you need and change that first before you even think of going back to her. By the way...is this even the reason she wanted space from you???
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