havehope Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 we live in 2 different cities. He says "I like you, but talking makes me like you more, so I want to talk randomly here and there and not daily" ..... I really like him and want to talk a few days a week. (I actually want to talk daily but) If he likes me wouldn't he want to talk daily too? Should I hang in there or is he trying to tell me something else? Guys perspective?
blueskyday Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Um, I would wonder why he doesn't want to like you more? Does he have a girlfriend, or doesn't want one due to long distance? (Don't give him these excuses. Simply ask him why and listen to what he says.) Maybe he doesn't want to talk to you so much and this is his (nice?) way of saying it..not so into you? Either way, pull way back. Let him contact you the next few times and see how often that is. And don't go visit him and sleep with him! In my experience, guys usually want to talk quite a bit at first when they want to get to know you, then they pull away a little...BUT, they are still concerned that you might go away so they will see how okay you are with the level of contact. So, pull back, let him come to you...or not come to you...you will know then
vsmini Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 "I like you, but talking makes me like you more, so I want to talk randomly here and there and not daily" He's telling you that he doesn't want to get serious or even be tempted into a relationship. He'd prefer to not get to know you that well. Don't read into any further. When a guys says he doesnt want to like you more - believe him and move on. Get to know a guy who likes, LIKING you.
Author havehope Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 well we used to do daily phone sessions for months Then he said that line and would stop responding sometimes and actually we don't talk on the phone at all anymore; he won't answer my calls - any communication is texting, 85% initiated by me. I don't get it. Usually if you like someone you want to feel included in their life right? or at least ask hows your day?
spiderowl Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 That's a good line; you've found an imaginative guy there! Actually, I'd hazard a guess that what he's saying is he's feeling pressured by this need to keep talking to him when he's not feeling that need himself at the moment. If you continue to have these expectations of him, he's likely to disappear. I've been going through this same thing myself with a guy who wants to talk every day - for a long time. I'm getting less interested by the minute as I'm feeling pressured and trapped. Take the pressure off, let him relax and chat when he feels like it, and see what happens. Of course, it shouldn't all be his way, there should be give and take, but forget about rules for how often you should speak. He's either going to grow closer to you or move away. At the moment, it sounds like he's warning you he'll move away if you don't take the pressure off.
Author havehope Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 thanks guys I really appreciate it! =]
trueluV Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 He says "I like you, but talking makes me like you more, so I want to talk randomly here and there and not daily" I've heard the exact same line a few years ago from a guy who actually really liked me. even more, he said he shouldn't see me because seeing me makes him like more, and he can't control his feelings. the thing with him was that i told him i don't want to be more than friends with him, so he was afraid of being hurt (he said) later. but anyway, i rejected him at last and that was the end of friendship also. maybe the guy likes you a lot but sees no future with you, realistically? if you like him a lot and want things to progress with him, then why don't you subtly tell him there is a future with you? good luck!
lapse Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I dunno - maybe he really means it. I was having this thought earlier myself. Finding myself disappointed if I don't hear from him a couple of times a day, I realized maybe I should hang back a little bit. And I'd thought that if I spent more time with him in person, I'd get satiated and able to think about him less. Not so! I'm getting hardcore infatu-ma-wated. It can be kinda disturbing. My appetite is becoming insatiable and it's just too dam soon, imo. Scary. I'm thinking the same thing he says he thinks - it would be better to not talk every day because my feelings are moving too fast. The only difference is I don't think I'll be able to follow through with it like your guy did. I'm emotionally driven, not logically! Just sayin... maybe he's being honest!
sanskrit Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 and actually we don't talk on the phone at all anymore; he won't answer my calls - any communication is texting, 85% initiated by me. I would guess that things are done between you two unfortunately, unless not talking at all means still talking 2-3 times a week and not 2-3 times a day. If you are exclusively dating a guy who doesn't speak with you at least 2-3 times a week (not texting) either via phone or Email, something is usually wrong.
Author havehope Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 ok well today is day 1 - im not going to say hi first, I'll wait til he says it first. Last time i tried this though it lasted 4 days before I gave in and said hi because I was constantly thinking about him and wondering how he was and what he was up to
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