Author GivenUp0083 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 yeah - - that's pretty much what i tell myself whenever the urge to contact him strikes me. in some ways going NC the second time around was easier because by then i knew that as difficult as it is to stay away, i was ultimately doing what was best for me. at the same time it was harder to go NC because it felt like i was so close to getting things back to how they used to be. as much of a jerk as my ex had been to me, he had his good qualities and i was reminded of those when we got back in touch. unfortunately, i was also reminded about how his bad qualities outweighed his good qualities i mean, you can break NC and experience the pain but is it really worth it? if you feel you want to give it a try then we can't stop you but the good news is - - if you do break NC and it doesn't work out; well - - you can always come back here and vent in all seriousness though, i have found this site to be very helpful in terms of support and tools to stay NC. everyone strays now and then, that's normal. just be sure to do what's best for you. I couldn't agree more. People often criticize me for over-analyzing these scenarios and situations, but that's who I am. That's how I deal with things, I try to find logic even when there isn't any to be found. In the end I always end up making the right decision for myself when it comes to my life and my future. I don't know how I'm going to feel in a week or two, or even when her bday comes around. Maybe I'll have met someone else by then and shooting her a bday text won't be such a big deal anymore. I have enough going for me and I'm surrounded by good friends that I won't spiral into a pit of depression over this. Some moments are tougher than others, and change is always difficult in any situation. But I'm strong, I'm adaptable, I can adjust and move on. There's a lot of things I'm doing to improve myself right now, mostly in terms of getting back in shape now that I have the time to do it. Summer is coming up and in this city there's always a lot going on and millions of new people to meet. It's nice to get it out on this forum once in a while, and as opposed to some other threads I've posted on recently about this, this one has been the most helpful and constructive. No one on here has been a troll or tried to start up arguments through criticism of my actions or what's wrong with me or anything of that nature. Everyone has shared personal experience and helped me stay true to myself. Thank you.
radiodarcy Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 we're happy to help sure everyone been dumped but unless someone is actually going through it - - it's not always easy for people to empathize. i came here because i had pretty much used up all my friends' good will (not to mention i got tired of hearing them say "i told you so" ) i'm not sure how long you have been in NC - - but it sounds like you have a good support system and know what you need to do in order to get through this; and you *will* . who knows maybe by the time her birthday rolls around you won't feel like contacting her at all...
midkirby Posted May 22, 2011 Posted May 22, 2011 Do not contact her. Trust me, she will feel upset that you didn't contact her on her birthday and possibly call you, or at least text. She needs to think that you are moving on, and not sitting by the phone, waiting for her to contact you. Good luck
joostay Posted May 23, 2011 Posted May 23, 2011 Hi guys, I found this thread on google by fluke but I was hoping to get your advice! I'm kinda in the same position as GivenUp0083... it's my bday in a few weeks as well (my 30th) however my girlfriend (of 8 years) was the one who broke up with me. Well we didn't split up, but she asked for space - basically we're on a break and I'm in that horrible limbo waiting... We've been apart nearly 3 months, although we had a bit of contact at the start which was confusing things. We recently started NC. Like GivenUp0083 I over-analyse things way too much. The break has hit me hard but I'm trying to work on myself as people are telling me too. Question is, if she was the one who asked for the break, and we're on NC, do you think she will contact me on my bday? 8 years is a long time, and I don't know how to get my head around it... I feel like I'll be pissed off if she doesn't contact me on my birthday. But maybe I should just be treating it like any other day??? How would you guys approach it? Thanks so much for reading this...
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