That_girl Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I broke up with my ex a little over a month ago. We were together for about 7 months- not long....but it was INTENSE. He cheated on me at the very beginning of the relationship and spent months begging and pleading with me, and then finally, I took him back and everything went downhill. He spent every moment with me when we weren't working and became very possessive and controlling. I saw a shift in his personality in such a short span of time...the more he realized I loved him, the more he wasn't as caring or attentive toward me as before. He became EXTREMELY critical...to the point where he would put me down and then claim he was trying to "motivate" me, or use the excuse that his father did that to him all of the time. I decided to break up with him when it got to the point where he would slam his fists against the wall, or street posts. That was my breaking point. Even though he never actually punched me...I figured it was only a matter of time. Of course he didn't understand why that type of thing would bother me at all!! He kept saying I must be breaking up with him because deep down I hate him and that I hate all men because of my own father and upbringing. **** him. He kept saying that my friends (who were also MUTUAL friends of ours who had actually known him before I did) would be happy that we were breaking up. He didn't stop to think that maybe I have such an aversion to violent tendencies in men because I have been in physically abusive relationships in the past- and he KNOWS that. He actually said that he couldn't control the fact that he might have to slam a wall every now and again- but he would NEVER hit me of course. The breakup itself wasn't as drawn out as I had expected. He pretty much accepted it and hasn't contacted me again. He said that maybe he just isn't good with women, which of course really bothers me because he didn't even TRY to understand where I was coming from....but I had tried my best to explain my feelings about the whole thing too. And when he asked me to admit that I hated him, I wouldn't. I never hated him....but I think now I'm started to realize that his behaviour should have scared me from the begginning. Anyway, I saw him on the weekend while I was sitting in the park with my friends. He had definitely seen us, but didn't approach us. He kept walking and I actually thought he was going to be normal and just leave or sit somewhere out of view, but of course he had to sit directly behind us...facing us. It kind of pissed me off. I know that it's a free park....but I also know that I wouldnt sit in his vicinity and make him feel uncomfortable. He KNOWS that must have made me uncomfortable...but we didn't leave. Eventually he and his friend got up and left. I miss him. I have started to realize that I did a lot of things to him as well. I never actually gave him my trust after he cheated- even though I said I would try to. I just wish I had ended it sooner.....so that I wouldn't be feeling this empty now
0hpenelope Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Yeah, just let him do his thing and you do yours. If this guy sounds as bad a news as you say he is, then you won't miss him for too long. I actually wouldn't avoid my ex. He's the one who wanted the bu, then he can do all the work of avoiding me.
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