Vitai Slade Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I was just recently dumped by someone very special to me. I treated her like a goddess when I was with her and she broke up with me for the reasons that I was clingy, attached, needed space (she just got out of a relationship), and that I had "no motivation or ambitions". I'm working on going to school to get my bachelors degree soon so that kinda cancels out that last one, but I did some really ****ty things right after the breakup. She said that the relationship was recoverable initially, but I kept pushing and pushing... then I went off and slept with someone. She said I kinda nailed the coffin shut there. She said she was thinking about getting back with me in a couple months, but I was pushy, immature, and now have no shot with her because of what I did. ever again. Now here's the curveball. While she was thinking of getting back with me, she wanted me to grow as a person. She knew that I couldn't grow if I was still attached to her and then learned I couldn't grow if there was even a hint of getting back with me...that she needed to make it clear it was over. I'm going to grow as a person without her now... and hoping that there still is a chance... I need outside perspective on this.
smudge21 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Sounds to me that she threw in a few of the typical lines that dumpers use to make themselves feel better. You know, throwing blame in your direction and pointing out mistakes you may have made. Then saying stuff like "I would've got back with you if you hadn't..." blah blah blah. It's a way to remove some of the guilt they're feeling for being a dumper as they do feel bad in some ways. I think your focus is great; to grow as a person and work on yourself, but do it for yourself, not for her. It's clear there's a lot of issues between you two, some of which you could resolve, but you've got to not think about it. Change yourself for yourself, not because someone who's already dumped you says you have to.
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