conehead Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) In general, do you think the average looking guys treat a girl better than the good looking guys? I guess because the average looking guys feel like they need to work harder to get girl than the more attractive guys? In general, I agree with this theory. However, there is one thing with the average looking guys that kind of annoy me. Continue reading below. I have had 3 boyfriends. 2 of them were average looking and 1 of them was drop dead gorgeous -- tall, dark and handsome. I noticed that from the very beginning the 2 average looking guys treated me like I was a gift from god...like from the very first meeting. The one good looking bf didn't really treat me that way from the beginning....but he started to after a few dates. He'd tell me he had strong feelings for me and wanted me to meet his family...and I knew he wasn't a player...he was sincere about it. However, I also noticed that he didn't treat me as well as the other 3. The other 2 were more understanding and sensitive to my needs. That being said, the other 2 average looking guys had at one point told me something to the extend of 'I'm a nice guy but alot of girls I know don't like nice guys and end up with jerks who abuse them.' When they tell me this, it makes me feel like they are only with me because I'm the only girl who wants them. Does not make me feel special at all. As for the good looking guy, he has told me to the extent that 'Many times when I treat a friend nice, she gets the wrong idea and thinks i'm interested and she'd try to date me'. A lot of girls like him, and a lot of girls check him out while I'm with him, but he chose me out of all those girls. That makes me feel special. Deep inside I end up falling really hard for the nice, average looking types...something about them make my heart flutter. I liked the hot bf too, but it was only on a superficial level. My feelings for him were never that strong. When he told me he has strong feelings for me, I couldnt say the same to him in return. This is going to sound really different from what others say, but somtimes I wish (just sometimes) I can start falling for the good looking guys who likes me. I'm starting to get this really wierd theory in my mind that the good looking ones may be more sincere since I'd know they are dating me not because no one else wants them, but because they truly want me out of all those girls. I think they'd be more loyal in the long run. Now if I can only get myself to have my heart flutter with a good looking guy...but so far that hasn't happened yet. I end up hurting/rejecting the good looking ones while the average so called 'nice' guys end up breaking my heart in the long run. Edited May 9, 2011 by conehead
musemaj11 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 In general, do you think the average looking guys treat a girl better than the good looking guys? I guess because the average looking guys feel like they need to work harder to get girl than the more attractive guys? And the ugly girl also treats her boyfriend better than the hot girl does. Thats life. The one who is less has to give more.
Mutant Debutante Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Don't have much time, but can say this: it's never a good idea to make population-wide generalities based off a sample of three people.
BiscuitXOXO Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I'm starting to get this really wierd theory in my mind that the good looking ones may be more sincere since I'd know they are dating me not because no one else wants them, but because they truly want me out of all those girls. I think they'd be more loyal in the long run. Just because they say some girls think they are "nice guys" doesn't mean no one else wants them. And just because you think no one else wants them doesn't mean they'd be any less loyal.
utterer of lies Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Don't have much time, but can say this: it's never a good idea to make population-wide generalities based off a sample of three people. Clever girl! The way people treat other people is much more a question of personality and past experiences than looks.
Jynxx Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 First of all, I think looks are overrated and most people confuse good looking people with people with lots of charisma. Personally I'm convinced charisma is a negative threat. Charismatic people are way more likely to manipulate or bully people than average. Think about how much better the world would be if you remove politicians, salesmen, preachers, gurus, actors etc. I don't believe they were born evil, but they learned that they could get away with some bad behavior that less charismatic people could not get away with, making them miss the second guessing about their behavior and continuing it. An attractive guy can afford to treat you bad, as a. he'll more easily be forgiven for it because you will more likely think he's a "catch" and b. if he ****s up then getting another girl isn't hard. The exact same goes for attractive girls. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but I think most people should proceed more carefull than they usually do when in a relationship with someone attractive.
Jynxx Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Everyone has options even if they like to pity themselves and pretend they don't. I see no reason to be more careful around some over others. Put it this way. A waiter and a billionaire both win a Ferrari in some lottery event. They obviously both have options for a new car should something go wrong: the waiter can buy a cheap used one for 1k and the billionaire can buy whatever he desires. They both take their Ferrari for a spin. Who do you think is more likely to be extremely carefull and who is more likely to test what the car is capable of?
Jynxx Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Both will be careful if they have any sense. It is a Ferrari. If they are reckless with it then it was never because of their socioeconomic status. That person simply has a reckless personality. Being carefull or reckless is not a binary decision. There's an infinite number of gradations between the two. My point is that someone who can easily replace the car will on average be at least a bit less carefull than someone who can't. If you disagree with that then continuing the discussion is useless.
Art_Critic Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Don't have much time, but can say this: it's never a good idea to make population-wide generalities based off a sample of three people. so true
Ruby Slippers Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I agree with this: I'm starting to get this really wierd theory in my mind that the good looking ones may be more sincere since I'd know they are dating me not because no one else wants them, but because they truly want me out of all those girls. But not this: I think they'd be more loyal in the long run. In a way, it feels more secure to date men with a lot of options because you know they could have picked from a lot of different women, and they picked you, so they must really want you. But guys with a lot of options tend to want to move on to some of those other options sooner or later, and that's when the security breaks down. So, you can be with a guy who doesn't have as many options and treats you great, but might secretly prefer other women and just can't get them. Or you can be with a guy who has options and gets with you for a while, then probably eventually moves on to the other women he can get. So basically, women are screwed either way.
threebyfate Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 The opening post sounds like a lot of personal insecurity driven stereotyping. People are people, regardless of looks or any other kind of positive or negative trait. Gauge by individual.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 So, you can be with a guy who doesn't have as many options and treats you great, but might secretly prefer other women and just can't get them. Or you can be with a guy who has options and gets with you for a while, then probably eventually moves on to the other women he can get. So basically, women are screwed either way. The mirror image of this is also true: So, you can be with a girl who doesn't have as many options and treats you great, but might secretly prefer other men and just can't get them. Or you can be with a girl who has options and gets with you for a while, then probably eventually moves on to the other men she can get. So basically, men are screwed either way. It's no better to be a man or a woman in the dating scene. It's really 13 one way a baker's dozen the other.
Nexus One Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Put it this way. A waiter and a billionaire both win a Ferrari in some lottery event. They obviously both have options for a new car should something go wrong: the waiter can buy a cheap used one for 1k and the billionaire can buy whatever he desires. They both take their Ferrari for a spin. Who do you think is more likely to be extremely carefull and who is more likely to test what the car is capable of? That would depend on their personality, not how much money they have in the bank. Some of the billionaires in the world are quite frugal people. The Swedish IKEA brothers for example have 25 billion USD in their bank accounts, but they still fly economy class instead of in business class or in a private jet.
Author conehead Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 I agree with this: But not this: In a way, it feels more secure to date men with a lot of options because you know they could have picked from a lot of different women, and they picked you, so they must really want you. But guys with a lot of options tend to want to move on to some of those other options sooner or later, and that's when the security breaks down. So, you can be with a guy who doesn't have as many options and treats you great, but might secretly prefer other women and just can't get them. Or you can be with a guy who has options and gets with you for a while, then probably eventually moves on to the other women he can get. So basically, women are screwed either way. Omgosh I completely agree with you hahah. So which is the lesser of two evils? Also, I'm basing my generalities on other people's experinces as well and not just my own. Obviously there are exceptions but that doesnt disregard the fact that generalities do exist and they exist for a reason.
dispatch3d Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 lame. You've had 3 boyfriends, 2 you thought were meh and one you thought was really hot. Based on this it's pretty hard to conclude anything. I would say their looks is about as attached to the "way they treated you" as the reason elephants and porcupines dont live in the same parts of the world. There's no reason. Stop trying to connect dots that don't exist. Anyhow, why not concentrate on some guys who are crushing on you?
vsmini Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Done my share of dating and have had 5 long term relationships - only one ending on bad terms. I've dated hot guys that were nice I've dated hot guys that were jerks I've dated average guys that were nice I've dated average guys that were jerks I've also dated two guys who were (I'm told) not attractive by any means) and one was a lovely guy and the other a total loser. Luck of the draw. I haven't come to any conclusion yet. Everyone breaks even.
DreamerGirl27 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I'm the exact opposite of you. I cannot for the life of me fall for the average looking guy. I always go for who I'm attracted to and they are usually just as shallow as I am. I just can't bring myself to date someone I'm not attracted to. Call it a curse, or whatever, but I want a good looking guy. But, not everyone thinks what I find attractive is even attractive, so...you'd think that would up my chances, but it doesn't. I don't even have an unattractive guy interested in me. I've got nobody. I've got one guy friend that I like who doesn't like me. I've dated in the past, but that was in the past. I haven't been on a date in 4 years.
Sabali Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I would say their looks is about as attached to the "way they treated you" as the reason elephants and porcupines dont live in the same parts of the world. There's no reason. Stop trying to connect dots that don't exist. Just to make sure I am following you correctly... Are you saying that elephants and porcupines don't live in the same parts of the world?
Sanman Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) A general rule, a person with more options for whatever reason (looks, wealth, fame) does not value a relationship as much as a person with fewer options simply because it is more easily replaceable. Everyone settles to some extent except for those the likes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie because they are at the top of the scale for what we want in a mate. I would like to date Mila Kunis, should I hold out for her and not date women who like me because I am 'settling' for them? I'm sure Mila will be along any day now. This is a silly line of thinking because you are making the assumption that this person chose you over others so they must really like you. Or you were simply their best choice to settle for until something better comes along. Just because a person has options does not mean they are not settling. I currently have my choice of women I am not interested in and none that I am interested in. So, if I date one of these women that I am not interested in to kill some time than I guess she will think it is because I think she is perfect for me? The only way to now one's true motives is to get to know that person. There are no shortcuts in life. Though, why is it women feel the need to be the object my fantasy as well as my reality? You can have Brad Pitt and I'll dream of Mila Kunis. Edited May 10, 2011 by Sanman
Darren Taylor Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Depends on the individual, but most good looking people generally are not good relationship material. Good looking guys are often players. Other guys bust my chops for not banging tons of women, but that's not me. They're jealous because they know they can't do what I can(if I wanted to anyway). On the flip side, the most attractive women are generally not relationship material anyway. Most are obnoxious and/or have b*tch shields up.
Darren Taylor Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 But you think a guy is good looking simply because he is ripped like Mike the Situation. A guy like that will tend to be a player since he's jacked up on testosterone. It has nothing to do with actually looking good which Mike doesn't. Ripped has nothing to do with being good looking. I never said it does. I said Situation is good looking. Being ripped alone doesn't automatically equate to jacked levels of testosterone. Women work out as well. Does that mean they have high testosterone levels?
Darren Taylor Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Based on what then? He's a butterface. He's not Brad Pitt handsome, but a butterface is a gross exaggeration. Someone like Michael Phelps would fit the description perfectly. It depends. If we are talking about the female bodybuilders in competitions then yes. To build that much muscle you need quite a bit of testosterone. That's more genetics than testosterone. I can spend 8 hours a day in the gym, and I'll never EVER become that big simply because it's genetically impossible for me to do so.
radiodarcy Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 i dunno. i dated and fell head over heels in love with an average looking guy and he treated me like absolute crap.
fishtaco Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Assumption are assumptions. I've heard stranger assumptions before. These assumptions often don't work. But people swear by them anyway. It is what it is. If you make the wrong assumptions, you pay the consequences.
sumdude Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Put it this way. A waiter and a billionaire both win a Ferrari in some lottery event. They obviously both have options for a new car should something go wrong: the waiter can buy a cheap used one for 1k and the billionaire can buy whatever he desires. They both take their Ferrari for a spin. Who do you think is more likely to be extremely carefull and who is more likely to test what the car is capable of? No way. I'm not a waiter but a new Ferrari is way beyond my means. But I'd drive the bejeezus out of a Ferrari if I had one. Same with a super hot girl. The girl is easier to get if you have the Ferrari though..
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