revised my ex and i were supposed to get to gether but it didn't go through

[nollid]

My ex girlfriend and I were friends for about a year before we got together, she was dating a real jerk who used her for sex and made her buy him everything she left him after a 6 months of being with him. We really liked each other but I told her I didn't think it was a good idea if we went out because i didn't want to rush things or be the rebound guy. I did however tell her I would really like to get to know her and that we should not rush anything. We partied one night shortly after and cuddled but I did not make a move on her out of respect, even though she wanted me to. Then a few days later she got back with her ex for another month before leaving him and about a month after that we started seeing each other.

 

 

 

We were together for 1 and a half years and it was pretty much like being in the honeymoon stage for the 1st year and not until the last 2 months did we argue except about 6 months into it i flirted with another girl because i was getting nervous about committing because she wanted to get married and I was no where ready for that since I was only 19 and she was 18. We got past my mistake and i started to realize that i really did love her a lot and new that she was the one for me.

 

 

 

We started to not hang out with other friends and only each other and i think this is when we started to argue more because we didn't have our freedom even though we both didn't mind if we hung out with our friends we just chose to be together because we could not get enough of each other.

 

My ex broke up with me about a month ago i was out of town and i got that call that she thinks she wanted to break up and i asked her if we can talk about this in person when I got home. We were both crying on the phone. when i finally saw her two days later she said she wasn't in love with me anymore and she just thought of me as a friend. Again I cried and pleaded for her to stay with me and she held me for an hour and even gave me a passionate kiss before i left but did not shed a single tear. That was the last time i saw her.

 

 

The first few days we were broken up me and her text messaged but I could not handle it any longer so i told her maybe we shouldn't talk for a while so i can sort my feelings out and so she could as well. About three weeks out of the blue she asked for her pipe back, that she gave me as a gift. The weird thing is when we were together she said she hated weed and yelled at me whenever i smoked it, the last time i smoked was a week before she left me. I asked her why she wanted it and she said because it is pretty to look at and I said ok then I have to pick up stuff from your house anyways. i took it as a sign she either was making an excuse to see me or she was just falling into that lifestyle.

 

 

I told her i was busy until about 5 days later so if she wanted the pipe that was when I was free. She never replied to me so I left it at that.

 

Another 2 week went by and i was tired of waiting so i asked her if she hates me or wants to be friends with me. i got a reply about an hour later because she was at work saying i thought we were friends and of course i don't hate you how could u think that. At this point i was a little excited but just said well you haven't talked to me in pretty much a month and she said this was out of respect for me because i said i needed space so i can think. I told her thank you for respecting my needs and asked her if she still wanted her pipe back and if was smoking weed now and she just said of course not . She did not give me anything close to a straight answer so i asked if she could meet up this last friday and maybe get a bite to eat,which was a few days after we talked, and she said that sounds good and it would be nice to see me. Friday came around and i messaged her around 11 to see if we were still on and she said she has to work all day so i said that's fine when can we try for and she said how about tomorrow so i said as long as we can be done by 1 because i have some stuff i have to do and she agreed.

 

This may be where i messed up because i got drunk friday night and text messaged her just saying whats up and she was at a party too. I told her one of my friends girlfriends said she missed her because she did and she replied almost instantly to each one of my texts then i said you know your welcome to come party here anytime and she said no your friends would be jerks to me. i said they aren't mad at you or anything I've talked to them about it and i wouldn't let them be mean to her because I still consider her a good friend. If they can not respect my wishes then maybe they are not good friends but I'm pretty sure they do but then again I'm drunk so I could be wrong. i sent that and right after i was thinking i just messed up big time so i sent another message saying i got to go before i say to much more stupid stuff have a fun night.

 

The next day came around and it was around 11 when she text

 

messaged me saying she couldn't hangout again because she was spending time with her parents and could not do it Sunday which was mothers day because they were going out of town and she had to work and could not go with them. I jokingly said your just dodging me lol jk. I said its fine and asked her when is a good time for you to get lunch and she never replied after that.

 

I decided i should go back to no contact because i started getting to excited and maybe it showed my neediness to have her in my life and it probably scared her off.

 

I really do care for her and just want to get a chance to see her and show her how much i have grown in a month. I do not plan on seeing her and expect her to want to be with me again but I know its the first big step to her seeing the new man I'm becoming rather than the boy I was in our relationship. She still has to see me eventually so I know she will contact me again so if you have any insight to my situation and maybe can help me on what to do next it would really help and if you need anything clarified please ask so I can be more clear English has never been my best subject.

[miss jennifer]

why do you want to see her to show you how much you've changed if she isn't receptive to you? if it's not to get back with her, what is it for?/ you have nothing to prove to her and it doesn't particularly look like she's interested in seeing your progress.

 

if you know she's going to contact you eventually, don't push it. go back to NC and when she is ready to see you, she will contact you. please don't make the mistake to be friend zoned by her. she is not your friend. she's your ex girlfriend.

[nollid]

i do eventually want her back but i do not want to rush things because i would like to make it last and right now i am enjoying my independence.

 

how do i stay out of the friendzone do i make it clear to her when she contacts me that i want more than that. or when i see her tell her i had fun but it only made me realize i cant just be friends with her