krz12 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 This is the first second date I've really had in my life (I'm 24), and I've mostly been operating on instinct thus far. As an aside, I want to thank the people who posted useful stuff in this thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=251962 Date 1 was an internet type coffee date, ended with a phone number. Date 2, a day later, ended with a peck type kiss, (this was reciprocated). Given that I worked up to it for about 5 minutes, it was kind of anticlimactic for me (this is the first time I've actually kissed a girl) , but whatever. I think I can work with this. Conversation actually went quite well, or at least as well as can be expected for me, I suppose. I'm not quite comfortable machine gunning compliments at a girl, but I gave her a couple of them. So, I like her, and I think I got some indication that she likes me, and at the same time I am trying to be mindful of point #1 of Hokie's thread. In any case, here's the situation. She's moving about 80 miles away from where I live, and I'm going on vacation for a week or so. Both of this know this. I told her I'd call her to schedule something in 2 weeks. So, 1. How much communication is required in the interim? I'm leaning towards less rather than more here. 2. Going forward, its a 90 minute drive. And I think in order for this to work going forward, there has to be some equality in the travel here, and I'm not convinced there will be. How do I say this directly without it sounding like an ultimatum?
chuckles11 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 1. You're going to be walking a very fine line with the communication issue. You don't want to overdue it, but you don't want her to lose interest either. You probably want to call her at least once a week and text her occasionally as well. Obviously, it's not a good idea to have two week lulls early on in dating. 2. If you are really interested in pursuing this, just take the initiative with travel for the time being. Once you get in a relationship, there should be some equality with travel, but right now do what's necessary to keep the contact going. When her interest level is high she will be more than willing to travel. Either way, don't have any awkward discussions about travel. Just invite her on a date at a place near where you live.
Author krz12 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Thanks man. I plan to do a bit of what you suggested in #2. Truthfully, the 3 hours of driving is mostly no problem in itself as I'd probably just be sitting in my apartment anyway, and I have little to lose and everything to gain. I just want to ensure I can do that without appearing desperate.
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