I am so happy.

[John Michael Kane]

Actually you can't know that since you don't know them. Even without infidelity they could have ended up divorcing.

 

Keep telling yourself that.

[John Michael Kane]

Okay then. What led WW down that path please? Let's have the full context not some pious bashing.....

 

She led herself down this path.

[John Michael Kane]

For some

 

And?

 

 

Because obviously thats why all affairs begin:rolleyes:

 

See? You're actually learning.

 

nope

 

Yes.

 

assumption.

 

Fact.

 

You dont have to put up with at all since it doesnt effect you.

 

Neither do you.

 

Why wouldnt it be going on? If there were problems there how do you know they wouldnt have split up?

 

Because she was cake eating.

 

You dont.

 

Yes I do.

 

And if you feel that strongly isnt what you say about the H a double standard? Why is it good they are splitting up so the BH is happy...surely that undermines your arguments about the effect on children?

 

What are you yambling about?

[wheelwright]

I'm curious, WW.

 

Is your H equally as happy about this outcome? Is this the outcome he wants as well?

 

If so...then it truly is good news for the both of you, and every reason for the both of you to be happy.

 

But I will say that this does seem to me to be the best possible solution for the both of you in the long run. From all that you've posted, I cannot imagine any possible way that the two of you could have remained happy together. In truth, it seems impossible to me at this point.

 

You simply don't appear to want/be capable of maintaining the same kind of relationship that your H is likely expecting in a marriage. You won't be happy in those confines, and he probably wouldn't be happy with anything less.

 

Hope it works out the best way it can for the both of you.

 

Yes you are right Owl.

 

You put it very well.

 

H is not as ease with this as I am - my realisation finally has force. The force of who I am and not who I am meant to be.

[wheelwright]

The right thing for the daughter would have been not to cheat in the first place.

 

And I wonder how the daughter would have grown up seeing her mother in purgatory not being able to love her father but wishing she had known love.

 

Honestly?

 

Follow your heart. The only kind of love is blind love.

[wheelwright]

It is so hard... The deciding and worrying and reviewing and churning over... It drains. I am glad there is positivity in your post and really hope everything goes well for the whole family. Best wishes.

 

Thanks, and you are someone who strikes me as right about a lot x

[wheelwright]

Wow WW I have followed your story since I've come to LS. I am very glad to hear that you are happy with this decision and wish you and your family the best of luck. It always came across to me that you never seemed to be fully happy and content in staying in your M. I know I wouldn't be happy if I felt I was just going through the motions with no connection.

 

I wish you all the happiness you deserve! Good luck and keep us posted!

 

Thanks LD.

 

I am happy moving on. I guess it was going through the motions with H.

 

I had a good dream. The figure in the dream told me it was OK to feel like I am feeling.

 

It's OK to move on sometimes.

[wheelwright]

"Why is daddy leaving?"

 

"Mommy cheated so we're getting divorced. But now mommy is happy. Aren't you happy, too?"

 

Happy Birthday, kid.

 

Gosh, your half empty cup might overflow with bile.

 

Good luck with that life philosophy.

[John Michael Kane]

Not bile.

 

Truth.

 

Look where your "philosophy" has gotten you--and your family.

 

Destroyed it.

 

Don't worry they all learn eventually.

[robf1971]

Unfortunately, when there are children, that "education" often comes at the kids' expense.

 

I does make you wonder while some people bother getting married. All pretty immature really