salty goodness Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Who do the 50% of men who cheat, cheat with? I hazard a guess that men and women like having sex with more than one person in roughly equal numbers. (I was going to edit that last sentence to remove ambiguity, but I love the many innuendoes I've managed to squeeze out of it so far) more often than not they cheat with single women who are unattached; i was talking about people who cheat on partners people they have an actual committed relationship with. the statistics still show that married men cheat more than married women i'm not making this stuff up you just have to do a google search and will find all the information you need. i'm sorry that woggle had to go through such a painful situation in his past relationship but as a woman i get really tired of his generalizations and overall hostility towards women in many of his threads; i really hope he doesn't project all this stuff onto his current wife because if he does she may get to the point where she can't handle it anymore.
utterer of lies Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Why is being a good man measured by how much abuse a guy takes? It's not. What a strange idea.
donnamaybe Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I have heard some women on here and other places say their husbands are great men because they forgave an affair or he puts up with her abuse or any other thing she does to him. Please post some links to LS'rs saying these things, 'cause I ain't buyin' it.
Stung Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 It's not. What a strange idea. Agreed. I was very taken aback by the strangeness of it. I certainly can't remember reading slews of posts by women on this forum claiming that they love their man because he's so good at taking their abuse, what a notion. Honestly Woggle I think you got triggered by Mother's Day. Did you talk to her yesterday?
SleeplessRomantic Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Forgiving someone doesn't make you a pussy. It makes you a man. Wait -- who said that forgiving someone makes a man a 'pussy'? I read a post from the first page that indicated how different men are now compared to 40-50 years ago (the poster didn't specify 40-50 years ago, but I believe we can all derive that certain distinction). I do agree with you to a certain extent, though. I'm more inclined to agree with your mention of "self respect". I mention this, because I know a couple of guys who are in relationships and are treated like absolute garbage by their girlfriends. They accept it, and are generally unhappy even though they pretend to be happy. It's noticeable by their body language and facial expressions. I see the men who are cheated on and are able to take a stand, and stand their grounds, and I admire that. Forgiveness, though, can stretch out to many facets, among cheating.
Lovelybird Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) I have heard some women on here and other places say their husbands are great men because they forgave an affair or he puts up with her abuse or any other thing she does to him. I don't get this logic. Nobody should put up with betrayal or abuse and a man should not have to do so in order to prove he is a good partner. I have no problem at all spoiling my wife and treating her like a queen because she deserves it but if I ever find out she cheated she is out the door and if she ever abused me verbally or physically she is out. I am willing to be a great husband but never will I be a doormat. I guess a man who is like this is beyond doormat. Usually women do that kind of thing out of previous frustration or fear or pain. but if a man is big enough to forgive a woman like that, same time confront her softly, this kind of woman can become remorseful and change. this kind of man IS great man. but if a man offers no grace and no mercy, neither of them can be healed and changed to better Edited May 9, 2011 by Lovelybird
Author Woggle Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 They don't outright say that their men are great because they take abuse but I read threads where a woman is having an affair and still has feelings for the OM. They say that their husband is great because he can forgive her and be supportive and I wonder if he is such a great man why did she cheat in the first place? Why does she twist herself into knots over the OM who in many cases is married himself and clearly does not care one iota about her but she just can't bring herself to be attracted to the wonderful husband who takes all he crap in stride? Why does a man have to be a doormat in order to be considered a great guy? I say in every thread I am not talking about all women but yet people still take issue with it. Do I have to stop speaking my mind about gender issues all together in order to not be considered a misogynist? When women on here vent about what many women go through with men nobody calls them misandrist why should I shut up about things that bother me?
donnamaybe Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Why does a man have to be a doormat in order to be considered a great guy?He doesn't. I have to wonder WHY you pick out the extremes and dwell on them? Just don't BE around these types of people! Oh, except the guy who let you sleep on his couch. Apparently that gives him a free pass to be a douchebag in the area of life that normally pisses you off the most.
Author Woggle Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 He doesn't. I have to wonder WHY you pick out the extremes and dwell on them? Just don't BE around these types of people! Oh, except the guy who let you sleep on his couch. Apparently that gives him a free pass to be a douchebag in the area of life that normally pisses you off the most. It doesn't give him a free pass but I don't turn my back on people that looked out for me when I was at my lowest. I am loyal like that to my friends but in no way does it mean I condone what he does and I say that to his face. I also understand why people snap after being mistreated for so long. If you had a friend who after a string of relationships where she was mistreated started going out and treating men like garbage wouldn't you show some sympathy even if you didn't condone it?
donnamaybe Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 It doesn't give him a free pass but I don't turn my back on people that looked out for me when I was at my lowest. I am loyal like that to my friends but in no way does it mean I condone what he does and I say that to his face. I also understand why people snap after being mistreated for so long. If you had a friend who after a string of relationships where she was mistreated started going out and treating men like garbage wouldn't you show some sympathy even if you didn't condone it?Nope. Sorry. Just because ONE (or even numerous) male people treated you like crap, you don't then get to treat INNOCENT male people like crap. So what if some black guy treated you like crap because other WHITE men had treated HIM like crap in the past? There comes a point where we HAVE to be responsible for our own behavior, and we HAVE to recognize who the actual enemy is in our lives. It's not some random stranger because she happens to have tits and a vagina JUST as it's not some person because their skin happens to be white. And how do YOU know that these women you know IRL haven't been 5h!t on by men in the past and that is why THEY now cheat? You're all ready to condemn THEM, but not this guy.
Author Woggle Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 I never said what he was doing was right but he is my friend and I have his back regardless. I agree with what you say but I must say at least he does not involve innocent women. If he wants to play around with women as shady as he is why not? He tells them flat out they are just toys to him.
donnamaybe Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 at least he does not involve innocent women. If he wants to play around with women as shady as he is why not? Because of their innocent husbands.
Author Woggle Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Because of their innocent husbands. They are the ones that make the choice to cheat and as horrible as this sounds many men tell me married women are the best sex a man can get.
donnamaybe Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 If she wants to cheat on him then that's her business. A guy isn't meant to be a woman's Jiminy Cricket. Whatever. I guess some folks have a hard time with the "do unto others" concept.
Author Woggle Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Whatever. I guess some folks have a hard time with the "do unto others" concept. I can fully understand where you are coming from but why fight it anymore. Cheating is so common in this day and age that I am shocked when people actually turn down the chance to do it.
Author Woggle Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 A woman who wants to cheat will lie about her status like a man. It is pointless getting distraught over it. Also it isn't the guy who is doing it in this case but the cheating woman. I agree. I would never willingly be the OM if god forbid I should become single again but at the end of the day the actual spouse is the one who is most at fault.
Pyro Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 He doesn't. I have to wonder WHY you pick out the extremes and dwell on them? Just don't BE around these types of people! Oh, except the guy who let you sleep on his couch. Apparently that gives him a free pass to be a douchebag in the area of life that normally pisses you off the most. I wonder who he would place the blame on if this friend of his ever made a move on his wife? Woggle did say he has his friends back regardless......
orion1010 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Ask a man what it takes to be a good man. Now, ask a woman what makes a good man. You'll find that men and women base this title on very different things. If you ask me what makes a man a good man I'll tell you it's based off of what he stands for, and how he carries himself. It has nothing to do with women, or how he treats them. Someone should start a thread with your exact thought. Very interesting. "ask a man what it takes to be a good man. Now, ask a woman what makes a good man". I'd be interested to hear the differences that come up.
mr.dream merchant Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Someone should start a thread with your exact thought. Very interesting. "ask a man what it takes to be a good man. Now, ask a woman what makes a good man". I'd be interested to hear the differences that come up. Of course. A women's definition of a man is based solely off of what he could bring to the table for her, and how he treats her. Basically what he could do for her. I think that's total bull****, as a man is not defined by what he does for a woman.
orion1010 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 Of course. A women's definition of a man is based solely off of what he could bring to the table for her, and how he treats her. Basically what he could do for her. I think that's total bull****, as a man is not defined by what he does for a woman. For some women, that could be a big deal of it.. but I think you would be suprised by what alot of other women would have to say.
musemaj11 Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) Of course. A women's definition of a man is based solely off of what he could bring to the table for her, and how he treats her. Basically what he could do for her. I think that's total bull****, as a man is not defined by what he does for a woman. A good man is a man who would do anything for a woman so she doesnt have to do anything. Most men would find it horrible if a woman does everything for a man so he doesnt have to do anything. But most women would view a man doing everything for a woman so she doesnt have to do anything as romantic ... Edited May 10, 2011 by musemaj11
betterdeal Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) Your world-view isn't in accordance with how you believe the world actually works. You can either change your world-view, change the world, or do nothing and be miserable. These are your choices. Either accept that lots of people like to have sex with more than one person over their lifetime, or campaign for a Protestant equivalent of Sharia Law to be enacted, or keep on doing what you're doing now. Edited May 10, 2011 by betterdeal
donnamaybe Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 A good man is a man who would do anything for a woman so she doesnt have to do anything.Nope. That's a "doormat."
donnamaybe Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 A woman who wants to cheat will lie about her status like a man. It is pointless getting distraught over it. Also it isn't the guy who is doing it in this case but the cheating woman. He purposely looks for married women. Wrong is wrong. When SOMEONE is getting hurt, whether they know it or not, whoever is participating is behaving like a jerk.
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