aislehc77 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 So...this is a long story, but I'm going to try to condense it but still include all the details. I am desperate for some advice. I can't talk to anyone because I don't want any drama surrounding this. My ex-husband I'll call him Joe. Joe and I were high school sweethearts. We knew each other for 5 years before we got married. I was 19, he was 21. We had our first child 2 years later, and our 2nd 2 years after the first. Joe was ADDICTED to the computer and his video games--he didn't work, he sat all day and all night on WOW for 3-4 days at a time. I worked all the time, I gave him chances, and finally I took my children and left. We'd been married 5 1/2 yrs. It was an ugly divorce, he swore he'd change, he loved me, blah blah blah. The children have always had a relationship with him, seeing him every weekend. Fast forward to now. The children are 12 and 10. I re-married 4 years ago. I knew when I got married to my 2nd husband--we'll say Bob, that I shouldn't. BUT I wanted to be married again, I loved him, and he was good for me. Bob and I had a daughter 3 years ago and a son almost a year ago. So...I have 12 yr old, 10 yr old, 3 yr old and 10 mth old. We have a great relationship with my ex and his girlfriend (they've been together 6 years). My mom passed away 3 weeks ago after battling lung cancer for 6 mths. Once this happened, it was like a light went off for me. I've always regretted divorcing Joe. I've wished that he wouldn't have done things the way he did. Since my mom passed, I have this overwhelming feeling. I feel like I'm wasting precious time. I feel so strongly that I belong with Joe. Bob and I have been struggling to stay together for at least 3 of the last 4 years. We keep on sweeping things under the rug and just tolerating things. Joe and his girlfriend have been the same. She and I are friends and she just keeps telling me she stays because she loves the kids so much. The two of them don't have any kids together. I know this sounds very white trash, but I'm desperate. The only person that I ever told how I still feel about Joe is my mom because I knew she'd never say anything to anyone. I can't talk to her anymore. Does anyone have any advice????
Author aislehc77 Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 Joe is no longer video gaming. He's now almost 35 years old and works and does all the normal grown up guy things. He still tells me all the time how he has no desire to ever marry anyone else. He wants only to be with me.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 You are probably contemplating a giant risk that wouldn't likely work out in your favor. Looking back like that is probably a mistake. Sounds like the atmosphere for your shared children is reasonable where it concerns their father and their mother, and maybe that should be enough to satisfy you. IF you want to end your present marriage because something isn't working, then that should be your focus. Once you find yourself independent and single, then that's the time to consider future dating prospects.
Vitai Slade Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I agree with SOG, what happens if you break it off with your current guy only to find that Joe still isn't what you are wanting? From an outside perspective, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. Try to work out the problems with your current guy. As they say, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Don't give up the bird you've got to chase a 'Might be'. Only if the bird is no longer in your hand should you even consider chasing the birds in the bush.
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