Jump to content

Two months broken up and he's already in a relationship...

stephmichelle

By stephmichelle
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

stephmichelle Member

stephmichelle

Posted
Posted

Hello again! I've posted quite a bit on here but have been absent since I started NC (11 days and still going strong!) and now I'm kinda at a slump again. We were together 3 years, broken up 2 1/2 months.

 

I got a text message from my best friend at 2am last week, telling me I needed to know before I found out from someone else, that my ex had officially changed his relationship status to "in a relationship" and now has pictures of them. This is only a week after I confronted him about lying to me about her, he said he only saw her once and was just a friend...blah blah blah. Both of them flat out lied to me and said that neither of them wanted a relationship. He even said I would probably have a bf before he ever got another gf and still cared about me, he was confused. I went and saw him that previous Saturday night (told me he loved me still, make the mistake of sleeping together, ect) and then found out she stayed the night at his house that Monday and had sex (just 2 days after we did!). So, that's when I had finally decided enough was enough and I started NC.

 

I haven't really cried that much or been super upset about it - I saw it coming and knew to expect it soon. It hurts the most at night when I'm by myself in bed - I'm alone and I think about how he has someone lying next him. One of my guy friends of several years even stayed over a few nights ago just so I could cuddle with someone and not feel so alone, my friends have been a great support system during this break up.

 

What I don't understand, is how it's so easy for him to do this. A week after being with me, he's in a relationship with her?! I can't stop thinking about it! It makes me feel like the 3 years we had together meant absolutely nothing to him. I know I don't need to be a relationship right now, I need to allow time to heal my wounds, work on myself and better myself before I can start something with someone else. It just hurts how easily I was replaced :(

 

Any kind words are much appreciated. Has one of your ex's jumped into another relationship so soon after breaking up? How did you deal with it? Is he rebounding?

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this...

MyHeartHurtsOuch Established Member

MyHeartHurtsOuch

Posted
Posted

Yes I had the exact same thing happen to me....he actually ended up getting married 6 months after our break up. It was nuts and I thought I was going to lose it but then I realized he really wasnt the guy for me and I would have been miserable had I been with him.

 

Im also a bit scared cause I think that the only reason why I was able to get over him is cause I met my now current ex. I was like head over heels instantly in love and it made me realize how bad my other ex was for me.

 

All my exs are married.

Hopeless Girl Established Member

Hopeless Girl

Posted
Posted

Wow girl. I feel for you. It must be horrible what your going through. Just know that this experience will make you a lot stronger for future relationships. That guy doesnt deserve you. He didnt trust you and wasnt upfront about everything. Enjoy your freedom! learn about yourself and live life.

Fufu Established Member

Fufu

Posted
Posted

Whether he is rebounding or not, I don't think it really matters.

 

He leaves, that's the reality and fact.

 

In fact, ask yourself would you really want to be with a person who changed partners so easily?

Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

Posted
Posted

 

In fact, ask yourself would you really want to be with a person who changed partners so easily?

 

Exactly!!!

Snooks New Member

Snooks

Posted
Posted

Hi, I'm sorry to hear of your situation and know exactly how you are feeling.

 

I was with my ex for 10 years and within 2 days of breaking up my ex moved in with another guy. 5 Months later they got married!

 

All I can say is try and concentrate on yourself and have no contact with your ex. Difficult at first but it does get easier with time.

Lilmisus Established Member

Lilmisus

Posted
Posted

Wow, what a douche.

 

I would say that your ex sounds extremely confused right now. Either that or he's a lying bastard. But really, it doesn't seem like he knows what he wants right now, and that maybe he just needs to be with someone at the moment, and she's there. So yes, it sounds like a rebound relationship. Should you waste another second on this loser? No.

 

But I can somewhat relate, though not completely. Dated him for a year, loved him with everything I had, then he dumped me saying that he needed to be single, that he was confused, and that he still cared about me (but didn't love me). Told me that he would be single for a while, didn't want a relationship, and that no other girl had anything to do with it - just to find out he left me for his current girlfriend (a friend of mine), who he started dating a week or two after we broke up. They both lied to me about it; for what reason, I don't know. So, I feel your pain. Lots of people do.

 

I've just been looking forward to the future though. To finding someone who wont screw me over that badly and who I wont be so irreplaceable to. Three years is a long time. But like I said, don't waste another second on this dude. He's not worth even that anymore.

Anna86 Established Member

Anna86

Posted
Posted

Hi, Hope you are feeling better!!

 

I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I am in the same place as you. He broke up with me as he didn't want a relationship and wanted to be ''single''. However, he put himself on a dating website BEFORE we broke up, and then started seeing a few girls right after he dumped me. He denied all of this and kept me in his life and used me until he found someone he actually wanted. I am so confused too, I mean this was my 'wonderful' boyfriend who adored me. Then like a light switch he decides he wants something else.

 

Stay NC. I hope you don't have to bump into them. I did. I went up and said hello, chatted and smiled then left. My ex emailed me an apology as I am sure he was so surprised how cool I acted with it. Honestly, a part of me died that night but at least he doesn't know this.

 

I really hope not all men are like this. I felt my ex was the opposite of this/ I am sure you did too!!!

 

Hmmmmm........I think we both deserve MUCH better than the way we were treated. If that is you in your picture you are very pretty!! You seem so mature and kind. You will have no problem finding someone much MUCH better than your selfish ex.......Chin up!!! :)

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

Posted
Posted (edited)
Has one of your ex's jumped into another relationship so soon after breaking up? How did you deal with it?

 

One of my exes jumped into bed with one of our housemates two weeks after we broke up. I slipped into a long depression.

 

My most recent ex jumped into bed with a female friend in my house when we were in the process of splitting up to hurt me.

 

I have disengaged from her emotionally, moved, changed my phone number, blocked her on Facebook, disconnected from any mutual friends we had. Saying that, it took a year for me to make the break fully, but it was a great relief to finally say, "f*ck you too" (metaphorically) and cut her out of my life.

 

Good friends, family, employer, and healthy, healing activities focused on improving my life and letting go of all the emotions attached with the relationship have been much better choices this time around.

Edited by betterdeal
Kilty Established Member

Kilty

Posted
Posted

Oh yeah !

Ive posted my story before.

 

Fell out and within a month she was with some old desperate loser who had asked her out when we were together and rebuffed him.

 

He has an ex wife, 3 grown up kids and had recently been engaged to a girl that was pregnant to another man - he proposed to her knowing this !

 

Within 2-3 months they went on holiday - he proposed to her and she accepted.

They have now been together a year and are getting married in August !

  • Author
stephmichelle Member

stephmichelle

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you everyone for your support and advice <3 It still hurts thinking about it but I know I just need to keep moving on. He isn't even worth thinking about especially when I was so easily replaced. I do think he is rebounding but it still hurts. Hopefully when the time is right, I'll find a great guy - and of course, I hope my ex gets what he deserves :)

kaycstamper Established Member

kaycstamper

Posted
Posted

I don't know how they do these things, but please tell your GF you choose not to know any more in the future. Protect yourself.

nana841121 Established Member

nana841121

Posted
Posted
Wow, what a douche.

 

I would say that your ex sounds extremely confused right now. Either that or he's a lying bastard. But really, it doesn't seem like he knows what he wants right now, and that maybe he just needs to be with someone at the moment, and she's there. So yes, it sounds like a rebound relationship. Should you waste another second on this loser? No.

 

But I can somewhat relate, though not completely. Dated him for a year, loved him with everything I had, then he dumped me saying that he needed to be single, that he was confused, and that he still cared about me (but didn't love me). Told me that he would be single for a while, didn't want a relationship, and that no other girl had anything to do with it - just to find out he left me for his current girlfriend (a friend of mine), who he started dating a week or two after we broke up. They both lied to me about it; for what reason, I don't know. So, I feel your pain. Lots of people do.

 

I've just been looking forward to the future though. To finding someone who wont screw me over that badly and who I wont be so irreplaceable to. Three years is a long time. But like I said, don't waste another second on this dude. He's not worth even that anymore.

 

 

This story relates to me too, count me in.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

Posted
Posted

My most recent ex must have dated at least a dozen men since we split up. Hell, she was dating other men when we were involved. I felt a certain amount of schaudenfraude watching her running around chasing her own tail and trying so hard. It's the trying that's the problem.

 

So don't try to hold onto old feelings for an old relationship and you'll feel much better for it.

Mack05 Established Member

Mack05

Posted
Posted (edited)

Steph I think there are two types of people out there (this is just my opinion). There are the deep people who throw everything into a relationship. Their feelings and emotions are truly genuine. These people tend to put far more into the relationship. When it goes wrong, they tend to take time to grieve and move on because it's hard just to give you heart to someone else quickly.

 

Then you have care free people, who go from one relationship to the next, without seemingly being overly bothered about the person they left behind. They may think they are in love, but most of the time they are not. When a relationship breaks up they tend to move on quicker. These people give their hearts quick and take it away even quicker.

 

I am person A and my ex is person B. It used to drive me crazy how she can move on so fast from one guy to the next and I am stuck here missing her like mad, probably taking the rest of the year before I can move on. Lately, though I have tried to stop analyzing and just accepted people are different. People have different morals and principals.

 

For me the best way to get on with your life is to let them go, forgive them and move on. Focus on yourself and the things that make you happy. Do positive things like go to the gym or other goals. Maybe write him a letter (but never send it). You will be surprised how good it feels to get that pent up anger out of you..

 

Remember you will experience the kind of love he NEVER will. So as much as it hurts now, it will so be worth it in the long run. In the meantime just try stay positive (little baby steps at a time). I truly believe you are better off without this guy and in time you will too.

Edited by Mack05
just_some_guy Established Member

just_some_guy

Posted
Posted

Your best friend is now in a relationship with your ex-boyfriend? Or am I reading it wrong? It is a little ambiguous.

 

If your best-friend texted you so that you'd know your ex-boyfriend had started a new relationship with some other woman, that would be one thing. Just move on. It matters not what someone does after a break up. Divest your energy from that person and move on.

 

But if I read this right, she texted you to inform you that she, herself, was now together with your ex?

 

In that case, you need some new friends too!!!

  • Author
stephmichelle Member

stephmichelle

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Your best friend is now in a relationship with your ex-boyfriend? Or am I reading it wrong? It is a little ambiguous.

 

If your best-friend texted you so that you'd know your ex-boyfriend had started a new relationship with some other woman, that would be one thing. Just move on. It matters not what someone does after a break up. Divest your energy from that person and move on.

 

But if I read this right, she texted you to inform you that she, herself, was now together with your ex?

 

In that case, you need some new friends too!!!

 

 

Oh my, I did word that a little wrong. No, my best friend isn't with him, she was calling to tell me he now has a new gf before I found out from someone else. I'm definitely moving on now though - I received a rude text message from him lastnight (just posted another thread about it), and he isn't worth worrying about anymore.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...