purplepanda Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 My boyfriend and I have a lot of friends of the opposite sex. BUT: he has a LOT of nonserious ex-girlfriends. And that really bothers me. I've dated a few guys, but not serially like he did last summer. We broke up, and he dated as soon as we broke up, lost his virginity 30 days AFTER we broke up. That's why it bothers me that he has so many friends that are girls. A lot I've met and there has never been anything... a couple he "tried" to get with when we were on a break. He was turned down. So I feel insignificant when the break ended and everything was fine, and he kept contact with them. I thought we agreed that each of us wouldn't talk to guys/girls that the other didn't know/felt uncomfortable with. Liiiike his exes. I'm not friends with MY exes, though he really isn't, but he has their numbers still in his phone. He likes to brag about having 200 contacts in his phone. Which i find completely stupid. :/ The other night we were hanging out in his room...which is REALLY messy. on the floor is a big pile of random stuff and clothes. I saw a purple blob so I picked it up...It was a girls t shirt. I asked whose it was, he said his most recent ex's name. He named 2 other band shirts he has somewhere in his room. He insisted that I keep it and I told him he was insane. I tried to rip it in half, but he wouldn't let me. Another thing on the floor was a heart shaped balloon that was flat but said I LOVE YOU on it. And an empty red card envelope that said "I love you (his name)" in a stack of random papers, some of them letters from myself. I felt this jealousy build up and I wanted to say something, but couldn't. I was a little hurt honestly. The reason I mentioned all the friends that are girls is because he told me he was going to hang out with his best friend's girlfriend (at her school as a guest for a day). I asked his friend about it and he told me last night, "Not my girlfriend. Some random girl. sarah something". I asked my bf, "Who is sarah?" Then it turned out that he was going to go with A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GIRL, named Sierra, but this Sarah was a backup if Sierra didn't "go thru with it". He lied to me. I was mad and called him out on it. He begged me to tell him why I was angry and when I did, he told me all that above this, then freaked out on ME! He called me an a s s h o l e. ME! And denied lying! WTF! This morning I get a text that says, "I can't believe you...I trusted you..." He won't answer me when I ask what's going on. I want to get rid of this jealousy AND fix what's happened. I've never been in a fight with a guy, and I want to talk in thru with him, but he won't answer. i've given him a few hours, but he makes an excuse about it being Mothers' Day. O.o What do I do?
Professor X Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I think your jealousy is a just one. Something doesn't smell right here and if I had to cast a quick judge based on what you just wrote here, it feels like you were not even his 2nd choice, but his 11th choice or something (as you said, they rejected him). If feels like he's keeping those girls around in case they would change their mind and want him. Also, his text message suggests that he knows you caught him and he tries to backfire the issue at you, making you the guilty one by throwing a nonsense claim that he trusted you (which is completely irrelevant here). He lies to you, spends time with other chicks behind your back, keeps all of his exes close to him, have some of their stuff in the middle of the room. He sounds like a guy with major issues, I would suggest you reevaluate your RS with him and think why you're really with him, because from what it seems, you're in for a world of hurt. P.S. from what I understood you 2 used to be together, then broke up, he slept around with chicks, then you got back together, correct?
Author purplepanda Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 P.S. from what I understood you 2 used to be together, then broke up, he slept around with chicks, then you got back together, correct? Dated around actually. Slept with 2, same for me, after about 8 months. And it was after a year we got back together. We never used to fight, I never used to get jealous, and he has no reason to be jealous either (it's not out of control actually, which is surprising O.o) because I do everything in the world to show him that I care.
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