joystickd Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t256626/ I posted this a while back. I have still had trouble dealing with my feeling regarding this situation. I talked to a therapist a few times because i met women that liked me and I was mean to them. It took the urge for me to go back out and start dating. I look at women now like how many men she hurt or how many times she ever cheated in a relationship. How many she ever told that she just wanted to be friends? I just hate going back out because I dread being to "oh you are a nice and sweet guy but I just want to be friends". It really pisses me off when I hear that because I know when I am put as a friend it doesn't change. Hell I havent even had sex since my first time. I spent years being rejected and i guess i convinced myself that time was different. I realized it was no different. People tell me everyone gets hurt but at least that was in a relationship. I never had a chance to even to that point. I'm at the point of giving up on dating and relationships, but then I think about the last time I tried that and I met her. So I just don't know anymore I just can't never win for losing.
chuckles11 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Stop being mean to women who are interested in you. Keep plugging ahead. Those are the only pieces of advice that I can think of. Also, I improved my dating success by mimicking the actions of the guys I knew who were successful meeting women. I.E. how to dress, going to the gym, how to approach women, etc. There really aren't any easy answers, just now know that things get easier after your first relationship.
Author joystickd Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 I have no friends around here that are successful with women the ones I did have moved.
chuckles11 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Well then, maybe your first step is finding a competent wing man. Maybe you should be participating in more activities, sports etc.
Author joystickd Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 the mean i guess comes from in my mind now its like saying "she will tell me she wants to be friends or try to hurt me because I am too nice" or " i wonder how many men she hurt or cheated on". After being rejected for so long my mind has those thoughts now. I don't think I am a bad looking guy http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1995776015781&set=a.1045017847421.2007201.1284890513&type=1&theater here is a pic of me
Author joystickd Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 I am in a small town not a lot of activities here
chuckles11 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Don't know what to say to that, I live in a fairly large city. I will say that you should let go of your prejudicial attitude towards the women who are interested in you. You have no idea what their past is, and ultimately it could end up being irrelevant.
lovingADove Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Have you thought about moving and starting anew somewhere else? I mean ...sometimes in life, one simply has to take bold decisions (such as hitting the reset button on you computer). Identify things you like. Move to a new area, where you can practice those things you like Create new friends, new social environments and go from there ... The worse thing in life is to really feel sorry for yourself. Or believe that certain things will never happen to you. Sometimes you simply have to force lady destiny ...
realisticbound Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 If you a defeatest attitude you're losing before you even start.
Author joystickd Posted May 14, 2011 Author Posted May 14, 2011 Its kind of hard to change the attitude. If I would at least had a girlfriend I would have the sense maybe there is someone better, but I haven't so I really don't know how to change the attitude
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