getting my ex to stop texting my mother w/o breaking nc, its holding me back

[TooMuchPride]

i havent spoken to my ex in 7 weeks... i dont plan to ever break nc

easter he texted my mother i bothered me but i let it slide now today he texts her again..idk y im letting it bother me...but i feel that he is trying to bug me he has to know she would tell me..he is calling her mom and stuff which i find disrespectful after all he did to me...i want it to stop because i feel its jus another way to get into my head...from now on every holiday ill feel the need to go ask my mother what he said...i dont know for sure if he may be doing to to get me to contact him because any1 who knows me well enough would know it would piss me off and that id probably end up sending a angry email about it but i refuse to my mom is too nice to tell him to stop even tho she doesnt like him and i dont want to break nc...do u think it would be a bad idea to get my cousin to tell him to quit it i feel like he is indirectly holding me back...even if he didnt mean anything to come from it...its really messing with my head..getting my cousin to tell him to quit it without mentioning me at all..bad idea? i introduced him to her before i jus thought if i got her to maybe say she was with my mom when he texted her and that she thinks he should stop contacting my family in gen because none of them are fond of him..she is about ten years older than us so it would be authoritative...i jus want it to STOP without opening any door of communication with him

[silvermane187]

Tell your mom to text him back saying "stop texting me", however she wants to put it. Simple.

[vsmini]

Like it or not - having your cousin doing it is still breaking no contact. Because then that shows him you're talking to everyone about it. If you feel that your boundaries are being crossed (yes, they are) then you are perfectly in your right to tell him to stop.

 

It isn't as if you're opening up the lines of communication to get him back, lead him on, or vent. You tell him to stop and flip the NC switch to ON right after. Do not respond to anything he says after that.

[TooMuchPride]

sm187 i told her too but she claims she doesn't want to get involved and if she sees him in person she will let him know...problem is she never will see him..i didnt get her point...but yes

 

vsmini i managed to go the day without saying anything..the thing is i wouldnt have let my cousin make it seem ti was coming from me..and i didnt want to contact him because i think that may be what he wants so i managed to stay strong enough to leave it alone...besides no more holidays are coming up soon right? lol ! thankyou guys though