My match profile, what do you think

[curlygirl40]

Hi everyone

 

Well I'm going to link (or try, computers are not my thing) my match profile. I think if you're not a member you'll only be able to see my main photo, and I would like advice about all of my photos so I'm not sure how helpful this will be.

 

But here goes.

 

I'm 41. I get a lot of attention on Match from guys in the mid to upper 50's. And guys in the mid to lower 30's. Not my thing. I had 2 guys e-mail me just today. One was 34 and thought we would have 'clickage' and the other was 30. The 30 year old said he had 2 little people. I sure hope he means kids and not like little people from the Wizard of Oz hiding in his closet. That would be strange. lmao. Sorry, I'm cracking myself up. Back to the subject.

 

I get an average of about 5 e-mails a week and about 5-7 winks a week. From guys that are way out of my age range (see above) or guys that I just wouldn't be interested in for various reasons.

 

The guys that I e-mail (I e-mail about 1-2 a week) almost NEVER e-mail me back. And I don't think I'm going out of my league either. I avoid the top 5% or whatever. Super goodlooking Jocks. I avoided them in HS too.

 

I think I come across better in person than I do in pictures/profile. I had one guy say to me 'Wow, you are much prettier in person'.

 

I have met 9 guys in person and 8 out of those 9 wanted to see me again.

 

So I guess my frustration is that I don't think I'm looking 'out of my league', but I have SO many guys not e-mail me back that I would be interested in knowing more about. And I'm trying to figure out if it's my profile, or my pics or what.

 

I'm a little self conscious about my weight. I'm a size 10 and I think I carry it well. Curvy in the good way. Look good in a pair of jeans, or so I've been told. I know I'm not skinny and I know I'm not super athletic (I run faithfully 3x a week and I'm about to run my second 5K in a couple of weeks), and I know my body type will not appeal to everyone. I'm o.k with all of that.

 

But I wish more of these guys that I e-mail would send an e-mail back, and the weight thing is on my mind. I wonder if they aren't interested for that reason. Cuz I'm not a thin, toned and athletic person.

 

If you can look at all of my pics, are there any that you would delete?? I don't like the full body one of me by the fireplace but it's one of the full body shots that I have and I know I need to have a full body shot included.

 

The guy in the pic from the 5K I ran is a good friend. Should I crop him out?

 

Well thanks for looking!!! I appreciate the help.

 

Curly

Edited May 8, 2011 by curlygirl40

[curlygirl40]

So I tried to link my profile but it kept coming up as I was logged in so I deleted it. I'm not sure how else to do it.

 

If you're a match member my profile is livingthelife41

 

I'll see if I can find a way to link it in the meantime. Thanks!

[curlygirl40]

O.K, here it is.

 

http://www.match.com/profile/showProfile.aspx?uid=FGNwlRB101vUPjGv7hKpeQ%3d%3d&handle=Livingthelife41&tp=S&pn=1&rn=4&do=2&lid=18

[Rinnix]

Your profile seems friendly and approachable, no problem there.

 

I can only see your first profile picture, and it looks great to me. Very pretty woman!

 

If you find someone you have interest in, ignore leagues, as everyone sees them differently. Never settle for less.

 

Your looking for your age range? Would you consider dating someone 5 years older, or 5 years younger? Age shouldn't be a huge reason all long as they are well kept. (Granted you don't want to date someone as young as a son:lmao:)

 

Just continue to be optimistic!

[curlygirl40]

Thanks Rinnix!

 

I would date someone from about 37 to 48. I wouldn't completely rule out someone a little older but that's the range I look for.

 

If they were on the younger side of that range I always make sure the question 'want kids' isn't answered by 'definitely!'. I'm all done there for sure! Love my kids but still. lol

 

Thanks again

[alexlakeman]

The guy in the pic is fine.. I only write women off when the guy looks like an obvious ex bf (ie hugging, on vacation, etc..). She could at least cut him out or just use another pic..

 

One of MY PET PEEVES on line, is not enough full body shots; delete so many face only pics.. In my experience the last 90 days (there's a thread I started a few months ago on my dating online and most of my complaints was "pics don't match the person"). Have some friends take some more full body shots and not with "baggy" blouse.. As I say on MY profile, "what you see is what you get"; so get that type of pic on there.

 

You get 5 emails, more or less per week.. Be glad, us guys get less initial emails that that, lol.. Just as an FYI, 99% of the emails I get that the woman initiated I do NOT respond back; I hate it, every time I see an email in the in box initiated from the woman, I don't like it; either she's too old, I don't like the looks, too fat, NO body shot (I've learned no body shot = fat, over weight, whatever you want to call it)..

 

You definitely have a very pretty face ;) ... but that pic in the fire place has a different hair style and you don't look as pretty as in the pic with the blue top, for example.. IN MY case, I've learned to go with the worst pic in a profile, so I would go with that one, assume that is the newest (you did mention which was the newest pic) and not email you. I'm just tired of going on first dates and pics not matching the person when I meet them, su)cks... I make specific mention in my profile "what you see is what you get" and "all my pics are within a year".

 

As for the profile / wording... it's fine, you put some time and effort into it vs women who write 5-7 sentences and put no time or effort into the profile, and just base responses on her pics..

 

I've learned that some dating sites are strong in certain parts of the country and not so strong in other towns... so you might try ok cupid or pof.. Match is still the best, in my opinion, experience, and success rate.. but I tried okc and it su)cked, then I tried POF and still use it as a secondary dating site behind match, and get some good responses on there, although the web page is primitive, but it's free...

 

Also, make sure if you email, make sure to sort your search results by ACTIVITY DATE.. I only email people active no later than 3 days ago. If not, that means that they've been off for a while and when they get back they will have a ton of emails to go through.. not good for me.. If I have some I like and want to email but have no time, I just put them on favorite, you might start doing that, especially since you are a woman. The guy gets notified that you favored them and he might initiate the email. I do that at times if they favorite me and I like the profile..

 

Consider what I said about more full body shots, and the full body shot by the fireplace..

 

By the way, you can see my profile and see I am a normal looking guy in your age range, so am giving you a comment based on a normal looking guy that you might be targeting..

 

Good luck and don't sweat it... Look at it this way guys don't get FIVE random first contact emails per week, lol

Edited May 9, 2011 by alexlakeman

[Sabali]

It looks fine to me. I am not sure why you are not getting more responses.

You are nice looking and your profile doesn't show desperation and has the tone of being fake.

 

Don't let the weight thing hammer down on you. I am always hesitant to tell anyone not to worry about weight because we must do what we can to take care of ourselves and make sure we stay in good shape. What I will say is that I do not believe that you weight is a big issue here.

 

I just can't put my finger on it but your profile looks ok.

[jerbear]

I think this is a profile that I would read toward the end. You seem approachable and know what you are looking for.

 

Regarding the pictures, I think all of them are fine. The main one is good but grainy.

 

Good luck in your search.

[Sabali]

I meant to say "doesn't have the tone of being fake."

[lovingADove]

Well ... you are hot ...

Definitely good looking ...

You just need to be patient ... and more open minded ... Age is really just a number ...

[nyc_guy2003]

If you want a purely objective critique of your pictures, here goes (BTW I am a male in my early 30s if that makes a difference):

 

-Profile picture: good, keep it

-Next pic to the left (black shirt and looks like your'e in a park): above average, I would keep it because it gives a reasonable indication of how the rest of your body looks

-Pic 3 ("August 2010" in blue shirt): no good, delete

-Pic 4 ("June 2010" in black shirt and looks like you're sitting on a porch): a little blurry but good, and nice smile, so keep it

-Pic 5 ("April 2011" running pic): not very flattering, I would delete and find a suitable replacement pic for a full body shot. Your hair is nice so I would probably not post any pics where it is tied back and hidden.

-Pic 6 ("June 2010" in black shirt with trees in background): this is your best pic, smile is good and hair looks good, keep it

-Pic 7 ("November 2010" in front of fire place): the outfit is good but the hair doesn't look as good and your stance is not too feminine. I would probably suggest retaking the picture with better hair and a more compact stance.

[TouchedByViolet]

Nice profile overall. It is hard to say what factors are preventing the men you initiate conversation with to writing back. You are good looking for 41, but everyone has there own preferences. Also, teenage kids can send some guys into a flight mode too.

 

Have you had anything consistent develop in the 8 men who wanted a second date?

[Art_Critic]

Good luck in your search.

 

I've heard that before ...

 

Sorry I can't comment CG.. I don't have a match account but from the comments I'd say you just need to put some time into online dating to get what you are looking for...

 

Why won't you date younger ? is it becuase guys around their mid 30's are looking to have kids ?

[Art_Critic]

By the way.. on a side note.. you now need to change your profile name on match..

 

If you google it, you bring up this thread and another on another forum that links back to you and you do know that many people google the id's ? so you don't want guys you are trying to impress to see these threads...

 

or reading your posting history...in either forum...

Edited May 9, 2011 by Art_Critic

[curlygirl40]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

 

Just what I needed.

 

Alexlakeman-great advice!!! The main profile pic was taken with my phone last Wednesday, so it doesn't get much more current than that! And I appreciate your POV about the running pic with me and a friend.

 

nycguy2003-thank you! That's exactly what I was looking for. I'm not a fan of the August pic with the blue shirt either, but I usually wear my hair curly so I didn't want too many with the just straight hair so I included that. I really don't like the pic of me by the fireplace because of my facial expression and my body stance, shoulders back, etc., but aside from the race pic it's the only full body one I have so I include it. I'll have to have a friend take another one for me. I like the race pic but only because it's a candid and really shows my body in a love it or leave it kind of way. LOL I know my hair is horrible in that pic but there are so many of my face in other shots that I wasn't worried about it. I'll reconsider. The one with me sitting at the picnic was taken by an old cell phone but I like my smile in it since it looks so natural so I always include that one. Thank you bunches.

 

Touchedbyviolet-that's funny that you say that about teens only because I consider myself on the 'homestretch' of raising my kids! I thought it was a benefit that I didn't have little ones. ha but I can see what you mean. There are days I would run for the hills if I wasn't legally responsible to stay. JUST KIDDING. Love those boys.

 

Sabali-thanks for your opinion of my profile. I have worked on it for a while and tweaked it a bunch through the process and I'm pretty happy with it. I'm glad that others think it makes me approachable, etc. That makes me happy. Last time I posted my profile on here (August?) it was torn apart but I got a ton of great advice which I took.

 

jerbear and lovingadove-Thanks!! I appreciate you taking the time and the encouraging words.

 

Thanks again. I have a friend who's a photographer, I'll grab her maybe next weekend and put some more pics up and I'll try to remember to repost on here when I change them.

 

Getting my mojo back, slowly but surely. lol

[curlygirl40]

By the way.. on a side note.. you now need to change your profile name on match..

 

If you google it, you bring up this thread and another on another forum that links back to you and you do know that many people google the id's ? so you don't want guys you are trying to impress to see these threads...

 

or reading your posting history...in either forum...

 

Oh crap I hadn't thought of that. Duh! Thanks for pointing that out.

 

And I'll have to google it myself because I don't know what 'other forum' you're talking about. Unless it's another forum in Loveshack because I have posted on others. But I don't use that ID or profile name on anything aside from match.

 

Oh, and I think I'm a little funny about dating younger only because one of the guys that I dated from match was 37 and had some issues that I thought maybe were just immaturity. I should probably expand my search I guess because I shouldn't assume others will be that way also. But yes some of it is because many of the guys in that age range say they want to have kids or more kids.

 

I also forgot to answer the other question. Out of the guys I went out with. One of them I dated for a couple of months. One of them I went on 4 ish dates with and he had some major issues and I ran! Texted me dirty stuff that was supposed to go to another girl who had apparently just sent a naked pic of herself to him. Nice!!! Not this girl.

 

One of them I'm still talking to and I like, but he's newly separated and probably not really ready. We're more like friends. Maybe more in the future once he's further along his journey. And another one I went out with last week and I would see him again although I'm not sure if there's much chemistry there. But I don't usually rule people out just because sparks weren't flying when our eyes first met.

 

Thanks again!

[Sabali]

Oh, and I think I'm a little funny about dating younger only because one of the guys that I dated from match was 37 and had some issues that I thought maybe were just immaturity. I should probably expand my search I guess because I shouldn't assume others will be that way also. But yes some of it is because many of the guys in that age range say they want to have kids or more kids.

 

If a guy is acting immature at the age of 37, it isn't the age, it's the guy. You should be well past your immature years at 37.

 

I am surprised you are not getting more responses. You even got the Buckwheat "wooking pa nub" in all the wrong places title. That deserves 50 hits per day alone.

[curlygirl40]

Sabali-You make a good point about the age thing. I need to be more open minded, I'm sure it was just that guy that was the problem. He had issues to the moon and back in hindsight.

 

And I love that tagline. It makes me laugh. Many people don't get it at all.

 

I took my profile down for a bit. I'm going to make some changes and put it back up soon.

 

Thanks again

[Sabali]

.

 

And I love that tagline. It makes me laugh. Many people don't get it at all.

 

Great! I can tell from reading your profile that you genuinely have a great sense of humor and you don't force it down the reader's throat. It comes across in a good way.

 

 

Some people waste space by writing a whole manifesto on what they want, what they are looking for and who shouldn't respond to them. Those people seem to have trouble seeing that it is more important to show that you are an easy-going and approachable person. I got that feeling from your profile.

 

Personally, I wouldn't overhaul what you have written. If you clean your house only to find out that one room is still a little untidy, there is no need to return the entire house to an untidy state just to work on that room.

 

I wish I could offer some tips but, again, It looked fine to me but I am sure it will eventually work for you.

[Nexus One]

Can't see the profile, I guess you need to have a Match account in order to see it, which I don't have.

[PinkInTheLimo]

Age is really just a number ...

 

No, it isn't. Why do so many men think they can get a woman who is 10 to 15 years younger, why do they think we want them? We don't!!!

 

Older guy means: limited sex life because of erectile problems, grumpy old men in the house, having to play nurse for him.

 

I am also in my 40-ies and fed up with all these guys in their late fifties thinking they have a chance with me. I'd rather stay single than be with a guy who is almost retired.

 

I want someone my age and yes, for some reason guys who are over 40 all of a sudden don't want women their age. I am looking for the exceptions...

[Nexus One]

No, it isn't. Why do so many men think they can get a woman who is 10 to 15 years younger

 

Men are biologically wired to prefer women who look younger than they are themselves (or who look their own age). That doesn't mean they wouldn't date older women, but most guys gravitate more easily towards younger women. It's often not a rational decision they make, men simply follow their instincts regarding this.

 

why do they think we want them?

 

Like I said, it's often not a rational decision. Many women are into guys that are older than them though. I can't tell you why, because I'm not a woman.

 

We don't!!!

 

That pretty much differs per woman. However most women do date guys that are older than they are themselves. Just look on a random dating website and the age range women are looking for, the ranges are pretty much all above their own age, give or take a few exceptions.

 

Older guy means: limited sex life because of erectile problems, grumpy old men in the house, having to play nurse for him.

 

You are talking about very old men here and even then it's a generalization.

 

I am also in my 40-ies and fed up with all these guys in their late fifties thinking they have a chance with me. I'd rather stay single than be with a guy who is almost retired.

 

Ok.

 

I want someone my age and yes, for some reason guys who are over 40 all of a sudden don't want women their age. I am looking for the exceptions...

 

Have you tried dating websites?

[curlygirl40]

Great! I can tell from reading your profile that you genuinely have a great sense of humor and you don't force it down the reader's throat. It comes across in a good way.

 

 

Personally, I wouldn't overhaul what you have written. If you clean your house only to find out that one room is still a little untidy, there is no need to return the entire house to an untidy state just to work on that room.

 

I wish I could offer some tips but, again, It looked fine to me but I am sure it will eventually work for you.

 

Thanks again. I don't think I'm going to change what I wrote at all. My neighbor is going to take some new pics of me probably this weekend and then I'll change the pictures out and put it back up.

 

I appreciate the feedback on the profile itself, it was helpful.

[Art_Critic]

And I'll have to google it myself because I don't know what 'other forum' you're talking about. Unless it's another forum in Loveshack because I have posted on others. But I don't use that ID or profile name on anything aside from match.

 

As it turns out it is another forum that someone is asking about your profile.

They posted a piece of your profile on there.