Vitai Slade Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Today is Sunday May 8th, 2011 at 2:30pm. I'm going to do my very best to complete my goal of 60 days (or more) of NC with the person I love, but who has tossed me aside in favor of a different life. This commitment includes: No contact with the person No contact with the persons family No e-stalking Trying to limit, to the best of my ability, recurring thoughts of the lost relationship and reminding myself that it will never be like it was before. Trying to discover myself: who I am deep down, my motivations for loving a person, and my new path to get what I desire in life. Realizing that the life I thought would be is no longer and never really was a realistic life to begin with. Realizing that life is difficult and I must work hard for a good life. Pushing myself to get what I want instead of relying on others to get it for me or already have what I desire. My commitment is set to end (at a MINIMUM) of 60 days - Thursday July 7th, 2011 at 2:30pm ----- I appreciate any support that is given. Thank you for staying interested in my progress.
Author Vitai Slade Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Ehhh, make that 7:30pm on the same day. I wrote a journal that indirectly addressed her. Will not do that again.
Author Vitai Slade Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 First night... ugh! Help... I don't want to contact her... I've committed myself to that... but I desperately want to look at her twitter... and her journals... x.X
kaldo Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Stick with it mate. I'm on day 28 at the moment... there's definitely ups and downs, but you have to keep going. Feel free to follow a little of my progress here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t274826/ Don't check her twitter, or her facebook, or anything. Trust me, it'll absolutely flatten you. What's the benefit? If she's sad, you'll want to 'comfort' her.. if she's happy, you'll feel even worse. And if she gets to the point where she's blabbing about a new man or anything, you'll feel suicidal. Forget her and focus on you, ok? Make a list of your goals and each day try to do something that works towards that. If you find yourself sitting around idly, then you're not doing something on that list. Just keep at it and you will improve day by day, even on the days when you feel like you're going backwards a few steps.
brokendreamz Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Well done for starting this. Today is the 4th month since she left me :0( We have a house to sell so I can't go total NC till that happens. Once the house is done and dusted I will be joining you in TOTAL NO CONTACT. I truly hope that I can start moving on from that point! My world is still consumed with the dreaded 'what if's' and I can't stop thinking of her hookng up with another guy. It sucks!! Good luck mate.
giuliano-3 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Day 3 here. Had a couple moments where I thought about slipping but came to this site instead. Found myself thinking less and less about the ex - more and more about a girl I've wanted to date. More and more about doing things for my family and friends, to be the best person I can be. Her twitter or FB status won't affect my life any more. I won't let it. Its what she wants, to have some semi-control over my life from afar. Best of luck to all NC ongoing efforts. Keep it up!!!
Author Vitai Slade Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 Night two: Still fighting urges to check her journals and twitter. I pulled all of my current journals and pictures with her in it off my profiles... but it doesn't help the longing. I do want her back. But I won't let her know that. Not until she comes to me first. She has to prove she wants me back and prove that she is willing to work at getting me back... that I'm worth it to her.
Author Vitai Slade Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) I feel... after only two nights... very regenerated. I know I'll slide from time to time in my emotions, but I want to move on. I'm beginning to move on. Yes, I want her back in the future... but waaaay in the future. After I've become who I want to be... after she's grown into the person she needs to be. Do I want a second chance with her? Of course I do. But I want it to be new. I want to fall in love with her all over again later down the road. I want to be cautious, take it slow... and most importantly, do it right. Is it wrong of me to want it back later down the road? I need to be patient, I need to have patience. She broke it off so hard on me, I believe, because I needed that in order to really take on my single life and grow during this breakup period. I'm not going to let this time go to waste. She will find a new me when she comes back... and I know she'll come back... she just has to. I feel so strongly that it's meant to be. ...if not? I don't know... I guess I'll figure it out when that time comes. But we had something that she's not going to find easily again, I know that much. We'll see what the future holds. Until then, on to day 3 of NC! (Yes, it's only been 3 days NC, but I've had a month of begging, pleading, and humiliation of myself to go through to get to this point. xp) Edited May 10, 2011 by Vitai Slade
Author Vitai Slade Posted May 10, 2011 Author Posted May 10, 2011 Broke no contact today. Guess it didn't really last. Just checked her twitter and journals. Nothing new on journals but she's got this guy that keeps popping up everywhere on her profiles. I think she's trying to make me jealous, but I know the guy and he's SOOOO not her type. XP I sent her a text that just said, "Thank you." Her breaking up with me has helped me to grow a lot... and though I still want her back, I know that she has to want me back for that to ever happen. I can only control myself. I'll keep going in life... if she happens to come back to me before it's too late, we'll talk. I can't say I'd jump at her like I would have before... we'd have to definitely work out some issues. But I'd consider it heavily.
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