Jump to content

so madly in love, but so attracted to danger...

punkrockchick

By punkrockchick
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

punkrockchick New Member

punkrockchick

Posted
Posted

my boyfriend and i have been together for awhile now, and i am madly in love with him. if it werent for him, i really dont know where id be right now. years ago, he was my best friend, and he always had an attraction to me, and i always had one to him too. the only problem? his older brother. ive never had a problem like this before. his older brother and i have always had a "little something" there, but we've usually always been able to fight it. especially because we're both in relationships. but, even back in the day 10 years ago, eventually we just "went for it" and ended up hooking up, although we didn't have sex. i wanted to sleep with him, but i was too afraid of waking up the next day angry at myself. then about a week after that, i moved away and we all lost contact until last fall, when my current boyfriend and i found each other again, became friends and fell in love.

 

so after we had been together for a little while, we were hanging out with the brother when we ended up having a moment alone to talk. somehow, we finally brought up our ancient-old hookup and how random it was, but how he did enjoy it, and i did too. ever since we started off with that convo, old feelings have crept back up. ive never wanted him like a relationship or anything, but i guess i feel like we have that "unfinished business" and i really always wondered what it had been like if we went all the way that one night. now, i dont know what to think.

 

the other night, we were all hanging out again when i ran into the house to grab a drink. well, as im walking down the hallway upstairs, the brother is standing in the computer/storage room. so i walked in to see what he was doing. he came really close to me, and we just kinda stood like that... then all of a sudden, he pulled me towards him and kissed me. instantly i thought "no", but i didnt stop because i almost felt like i couldnt. we kissed for a few minutes, then broke it off and i ran off. then it ended up happening again before we went to bed when i was in the kitchen alone. i had to fight myself from letting it go any further then it did last night. i was so attracted to him. i am attracted to him. and, i HATE IT! i dont feel anything for him other than this physical attraction. for my boyfriend, i love him to death. i want to be with him forever, he's a great man and the only one i want to be in a relationship with for the rest of my life. so why do i feel these intense feelings for his brother?! it hurts me knowing that if my boyfriend knew, i could completely break his heart. i know i have to nip this thing in the bud before it gets any worse. i never thought something like this would happen to me. i have never cheated in the past, and i have never acted on any kind of attraction i had for another guy in the past. why is this different? i just feel so helpless. i know its wrong to continue, i just wish i didnt feel like "if i finally do it, i'll feel so much better and i wont do it again''. because no, thats not true. i'll just feel worse AND feel regret.

 

if anyone has ever been in a position like this, what did you do? i feel so helpless. and, i feel like a total scumbag. this shouldnt be happening.

 

thank you all for taking time to read this.

SoulStorm Established Member

SoulStorm

Posted
Posted (edited)
my boyfriend and i have been together for awhile now, and i am madly in love with him. if it werent for him, i really dont know where id be right now. years ago, he was my best friend, and he always had an attraction to me, and i always had one to him too. the only problem? his older brother. ive never had a problem like this before. his older brother and i have always had a "little something" there, but we've usually always been able to fight it. especially because we're both in relationships. but, even back in the day 10 years ago, eventually we just "went for it" and ended up hooking up, although we didn't have sex. i wanted to sleep with him, but i was too afraid of waking up the next day angry at myself. then about a week after that, i moved away and we all lost contact until last fall, when my current boyfriend and i found each other again, became friends and fell in love.

 

so after we had been together for a little while, we were hanging out with the brother when we ended up having a moment alone to talk. somehow, we finally brought up our ancient-old hookup and how random it was, but how he did enjoy it, and i did too. ever since we started off with that convo, old feelings have crept back up. ive never wanted him like a relationship or anything, but i guess i feel like we have that "unfinished business" and i really always wondered what it had been like if we went all the way that one night. now, i dont know what to think.

 

the other night, we were all hanging out again when i ran into the house to grab a drink. well, as im walking down the hallway upstairs, the brother is standing in the computer/storage room. so i walked in to see what he was doing. he came really close to me, and we just kinda stood like that... then all of a sudden, he pulled me towards him and kissed me. instantly i thought "no", but i didnt stop because i almost felt like i couldnt. we kissed for a few minutes, then broke it off and i ran off. then it ended up happening again before we went to bed when i was in the kitchen alone. i had to fight myself from letting it go any further then it did last night. i was so attracted to him. i am attracted to him. and, i HATE IT! i dont feel anything for him other than this physical attraction. for my boyfriend, i love him to death. i want to be with him forever, he's a great man and the only one i want to be in a relationship with for the rest of my life. so why do i feel these intense feelings for his brother?! it hurts me knowing that if my boyfriend knew, i could completely break his heart. i know i have to nip this thing in the bud before it gets any worse. i never thought something like this would happen to me. i have never cheated in the past, and i have never acted on any kind of attraction i had for another guy in the past. why is this different? i just feel so helpless. i know its wrong to continue, i just wish i didnt feel like "if i finally do it, i'll feel so much better and i wont do it again''. because no, thats not true. i'll just feel worse AND feel regret.

 

if anyone has ever been in a position like this, what did you do? i feel so helpless. and, i feel like a total scumbag. this shouldnt be happening.

 

thank you all for taking time to read this.

 

Both you and your boyfriend's brother are showing so little respect for him.

If you loved him as you say you did..you would never let yourself get in those situations with his older brother.

However, because you lack strong boundaries..you are cheating on your boyfriend. Just because you don't have sex does not mean you are not cheating. You are doing things with his brother that you should only do with him.

If you cannot do that..then you don't need to be in a relationship that you can't fully commit to.

How would you feel if you had a sister and your boyfriend was doing exactly what you are doing?It is going to hurt more to know you did this with his brother.

You need to make a decision...either you will be faithful to your boyfriend or you let him find someone who will be. You are purposely..yes purposely hurting your boyfriend.

Edited by SoulStorm
John Michael Kane Established Member

John Michael Kane

Posted
Posted

That's sick you and his brother are hurting him like this. You obviously need to let him go...

Sazerac Established Member

Sazerac

Posted
Posted

Even though whatever happened between you and the brother was "back in the day" (10 years ago) you don't seem to be very mature when it comes to relationships.

 

Normally I don't cotton to knee-jerk reactionary advice commonly given here, but this time I have to agree - time to move on. You seem to have a problem with relationship boundaries--and this is his brother, for crying out loud! Both of your actions demonstrate a marked lack of respect your boyfriend. Let him go, move on, and mature.

Bryanp Established Member

Bryanp

Posted
Posted

How sad for your boyfriend. How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing to you what you have been doing to him? If you had any respect for your boyfriend at all then you would come clean to him about what you have been doing with his boyfriend. He has a right to know. What you are doing to your boyfriend is engaging in a double betrayal and making your boyfriend look like a fool. You don't treat people like this if you are in love with them. Do your boyfriend a big favor and break up with him so he can find someone else who can truly love and respect him because you cannot. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words. Your actions speak volume.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

This is his brother. If he ever finds out, even about you making out with him, you'll be out of a relationship with a guy you claim you love. And his relationship with his brother will NEVER be the same again. It will be PERMANTLY damaged by you and his older brothers actions.

 

If you love him like you claim you do, then let him go and remove yourself from the situation. If you remain with him, his brother will be a constant temptation and sooner or later, you will get caught.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

I re-read most of the posts and most people just told her to end it with her boyfriend. Most aren't happy with her story and understandably so. I didn't read where anyone called her an idiot.

 

The point is, she states that she has a STRONG physical desire for his older brother, APPARENTLY, they've just kissed. I'm not entirely sure I believe that;however, her boyfriend will always be around his family. Older brother is part of that family. If she has any respect or love for her boyfriend, she should remove herself from that environment before any further damage is done.

nyc_guy2003 Established Member

nyc_guy2003

Posted
Posted

What I find weird is that the older brother is willing to put his lips (and other appendages) where younger brother has been in the very recent past. That's almost like kissing (or having sex) with your own brother. Kind of gross.

Garrgoil Established Member

Garrgoil

Posted
Posted
That's sick you and his brother are hurting him like this. You obviously need to let him go...

 

I disagree.

 

Sounds like she's the "family whore."

 

Wish I'd a had one of those growing up.

Memphis Raines Established Member

Memphis Raines

Posted
Posted
my boyfriend and i have been together for awhile now, and i am madly in love with him.

 

no, you aren't

John Michael Kane Established Member

John Michael Kane

Posted
Posted
I disagree.

 

Sounds like she's the "family whore."

 

Wish I'd a had one of those growing up.

 

What the hell?:confused:

FrostFire Established Member

FrostFire

Posted
Posted

Either way someone is going to get hurt in this one. Either the older brother or her boyfriend. If I were you I would tell that older brother to STOP what he is doing. Unfortunately, your boyfriend has no idea about this and honesty is important in a relationship. Since it's tearing you apart and it will eat away at you forever you're better off telling your boyfriend.

 

You must tell your boyfriend what is going on and your boyfriend will have to do deal with that in whatever way he does. You on the other hand really only have 2 options and that's to break up with your boyfriend or try and save what you have with your boyfriend.

 

Unfortunately, it won't be entirely up to you on the saving. What you can do is since you were only friends back in the day, you did try seeing if something was there with his older brother. Back then it was harmless because you technically were not in a relationship. Now that you're in a relationship it is more magnified.

 

It's true you didn't make the move and he made the moves on you. He made the moves on you to see if that chemistry was still there. It was but it's a forbidden chemistry since it's cheating. (Yes you feel very crummy so I'm not going to beat that one around) So you tell him about your "seeing if it worked" ten years ago will help in this case. It didn't work back then but literally his older brother planned and plotted on getting you alone this whole time (He wanted to kiss you). You're sorry you thought it was over between the two of you many years ago, but obviously for him it hasn't. The fact you really haven't taken this any further is a good sign. I mean god all is not lost since you haven't slept with him.

 

He might ask you what compelled you to kiss him? Good luck on that answer. Only you will know this.

 

The fact is, you're realizing this could lead to a big problem and you need to nip it in the butt once and for all. However, your boyfriend needs to know the truth and if you really love him you will tell him. How he reacts? Well, that's entirely up to your boyfriend and as everyone is suggesting it will change the relationship with his brother forever.

 

 

Temptation is extremely strong especially when we know how taboo it is makes it all that more exciting and thrilling for some.

___________________________________________________________

 

Either way the damage has been done. Learn from your mistakes and try not to make them again. We're only human. Screw off to the other people making you feel even worse. It's very evident how regretful you are. Good luck!

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

Posted
Posted
thank you all for taking time to read this.

 

 

your welcome, troll

FrostFire Established Member

FrostFire

Posted
Posted

One more thing I would question is your sex life? Sounds like to me your sex life perhaps might be boring or suffering? It turns you on when a guy is extremely aggressive like that? You liked it because your boyfriend doesn't do it like that? Seems like you're finding out what really does it for you aside from knowing it's wrong but still doing it. :p You like the "bad boys."??

 

Perhaps you love your boyfriend but believe it or not sexual chemistry does hold a high priority in relationships. You can love your boyfriend to death, but if it's not working out sexually then it's really only a matter of time before some other guy walks into the picture and satisfies you the way you really truly have wanted it and just haven't realized yet until now.

 

Just be honest with yourself.

 

If this was the case, then you are better breaking it off with your current boyfriend because too much damage will been done.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...