No_hope Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 My now boyfriend and I were together for 2 years we have a 14 month old together but he broke up with me 4 months ago, 6 weeks before our wedding, he cheated on me with our old neighbor and left me for her. Two months later she broke up with him and he went all depressed for about a week, and then 5 days ago (2 months after their break up) he comes begging me to take him back saying how sorry he is for what he did to me, and that he loves me and that he was just scared because of the wedding and had to escape it some how. I kinda understand that but I am still hurt by it. I took him back after talking for 17 hours straight (9 of it via IM 8 of it together in person) and he tells me everyday how much he loves me and how sorry he is, but I still feel like the other girl is better then me some how, but he tells me she is not. Then when ever he gives me new pet names I just think "is this what he was calling the other girl?" and even if I hug him or something the other girl is like... there. And I can't seem to get over it. the past couple of days I have been seriously thinking about just ending it because I can't seem to get over what he did. I couldn't even be intimate with out thinking of the other girl, like... "is this position what he did with her?" I really do love him... I am still questioning if he loves me. I need advise.
kbme311 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 My now boyfriend and I were together for 2 years we have a 14 month old together but he broke up with me 4 months ago, 6 weeks before our wedding, he cheated on me with our old neighbor and left me for her. Two months later she broke up with him and he went all depressed for about a week, and then 5 days ago (2 months after their break up) he comes begging me to take him back saying how sorry he is for what he did to me, and that he loves me and that he was just scared because of the wedding and had to escape it some how. I kinda understand that but I am still hurt by it. I took him back after talking for 17 hours straight (9 of it via IM 8 of it together in person) and he tells me everyday how much he loves me and how sorry he is, but I still feel like the other girl is better then me some how, but he tells me she is not. Then when ever he gives me new pet names I just think "is this what he was calling the other girl?" and even if I hug him or something the other girl is like... there. And I can't seem to get over it. the past couple of days I have been seriously thinking about just ending it because I can't seem to get over what he did. I couldn't even be intimate with out thinking of the other girl, like... "is this position what he did with her?" I really do love him... I am still questioning if he loves me. I need advise. You're not going to want to hear this and I can tell you're in pain and at a loss as to what to do. Having been cheated on in the past, I know how overwhelmingly painful it is. You have two choices, you can take him back (which you have) but go into couples counselling and individual counselling. Then work with him on the relationship. His behaviour sounds very immature. He has a child and obviously can't deal with the responsibility so he ran away. If we look at his behaviour he has very little if no respect for either you or your relationship. It doesn't matter what he says even though you want to believe everything he says, it's his actions that are most important. If you focus on him and his behaviour, you will end up furious. Can you imagine that he was carrying on with a neighbour. He was sleeping with her when you and your child (his child as well) were next door. I bet he got a real buzz out of that. Then he comes back to you after she dumps him. Someone with the morals of an alley cat got rid off him which spells out his worth loud and clear. She was happy to carry on with someone knowing they had a young baby together. Have you made him work for the relationship or you? Did you just accept him back with willing arms| He's very lucky. He also now knows that you will accept any kind of behaviour, no matter how reprehensible. If you have a sister, keep her away from him. This guys behaviour spells out what kind of person he is loud and clear. He is selfish, immature, shameless and self serving. He will probably cheat at the drop of a hat again so I suggest you work with the building management to vet all new neighbours in case they are female. I'm sorry but I think you already know the answer to your question. I understand the shock and denial when someone cheats on you and I understand that you love him. You also have a baby with him so it's complicated. He isn't worth giving the time of day to. I'm sorry for your pain.
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