westernxer Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 What if they live with roommates? Does this become a stigma at a certain age?
Star Gazer Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 What if they live with roommates? Does this become a stigma at a certain age? Apples and oranges.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Star, you are entitled to your opinion. You simply aren't the type of woman that the OP needs, or wants, to date. He needs someone understanding of his situation. You seem to have your mind made up, therefore you and other women who think like you are unsuitable for guys like me and the OP.
Star Gazer Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Star, you are entitled to your opinion. You simply aren't the type of woman that the OP needs, or wants, to date. He needs someone understanding of his situation. You seem to have your mind made up, therefore you and other women who think like you are unsuitable for guys like me and the OP. Most women would not be understanding of a man choosing to live with his parents and let them control his actions as he, and apparently you, do. Outside of caring for ones parents, an American grown man living with his parents is quite unattractive.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Look, here's the deal. Most people do not want to live with their parents, they want to get their own space, their own lives, maybe move to a different city or overseas etc, and eventually if they start their own family living with parents becomes next to impossible. This is true for both men and women. A man who lives at home without a legitimate reason to (i.e. college, sick parents, some other life emergency) will most likely not have much in common in terms of lifestyle with a woman who doesn't live at home. Basically the living situation is a symptom of more fundamental incompatibilities.
westernxer Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Most women would not be understanding of a man choosing to live with his parents and let them control his actions as he, and apparently you, do. Outside of caring for ones parents, an American grown man living with his parents is quite unattractive. Just for the record, I have no problem if you feel this way (and if others feel likewise). It's a valid concern, especially if you are looking for a man who can stand on his own two feet and make a woman feel secure. These are the rules of the game, and that's just the way it is. Personally speaking, I've always been a bit unconventional in how I choose to live my life. Some might even go so far as to say I'm boring. LOL
skydiveaddict Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Most women would not be understanding of a man choosing to live with his parents and let them control his actions as he, and apparently you, do. Outside of caring for ones parents, an American grown man living with his parents is quite unattractive. I tend to agree. But I have my aging father living with me and I will not send him to a nursing home unless absolutely necessary. Fortunately, I have five siblings to help out. In many other cultures, casting aside one's parents because of age, infirmity or convenience is unthinkable, and I agree. My situation is not unlike the tv show "Frasier". But, like Star said, if your parents are still healthy and self-sufiecient, you should move out. You're missing out on life otherwise.
OliveOyl Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 All it takes is ONE woman who is the right gal for the OP. I stand by my signature.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Most women would not be understanding of a man choosing to live with his parents and let them control his actions as he, and apparently you, do. Outside of caring for ones parents, an American grown man living with his parents is quite unattractive. Did I say that I have my parents control me? No. I make my own decisions. I chose to move back home, because I was worried about my Grandma. I chose to quit my job, because I wouldn't be able to drive to it. I chose to remain a virgin, because I don't sleep around with women I don't care about. I want a relationship. The OP's situation, and MY situation, are as far removed from each other as possible. The fact that you can't see that, makes your whole argument invalid.
Goatsbreath Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 "My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."
skydiveaddict Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 "My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents." Yea, but what about george?
Disillusioned Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 "My name is John. I have 2 steady jobs and have been living alone since I inherited my prison---I mean home---4 years ago."
Dust Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Did I say that I have my parents control me? No. I make my own decisions. I chose to move back home, because I was worried about my Grandma. I chose to quit my job, because I wouldn't be able to drive to it. I chose to remain a virgin, because I don't sleep around with women I don't care about. I want a relationship. The OP's situation, and MY situation, are as far removed from each other as possible. The fact that you can't see that, makes your whole argument invalid. Just thought it was interesting on how you are supposedly a grown man who lives at home, and Stargazer is supposedly a hotty and the two of you seem to mix like oil and water. (by that I mean poorly) Face it living with family creates far from an ideal dating situation. It’s the equivalent of a women having one too many cats. (not saying you can’t find dates just makes it harder)
Dust Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 "My name is John. I have 2 steady jobs and have been living alone since I inherited my prison---I mean home---4 years ago." You are very negative, you hold the key to your prison.
skydiveaddict Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Face it living with family creates far from an ideal dating situation. It’s the equivalent of a women having one too many cats. (not saying you can’t find dates just makes it harder) I must disagree. Most of the girls I have dated describe the living situation I have (taking care of my dad) as "cute". They instantly warm up to him. And to be honest, we act more like roomates than father and son. (So I've been told, anyway)
Titania22 Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Considering the cost to rent or buy a place in this city, I am surprised anyone can afford to move out of their parents place.
Dust Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I must disagree. Most of the girls I have dated describe the living situation I have (taking care of my dad) as "cute". They instantly warm up to him. And to be honest, we act more like roomates than father and son. (So I've been told, anyway) That’s great that you live with you’re father and take care of him. I think that changes it a little from the typical lives with your mom to avoid paying rent situation. Still it’s obvious women like certain things like a man who has a car, and a guy who has his own place.
Star Gazer Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Considering the cost to rent or buy a place in this city, I am surprised anyone can afford to move out of their parents place. How is it that all the parents in the city can afford it, but their young, working, vibrant offspring cannot? That makes no sense.
Star Gazer Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 personally i find independeence attractive, lol That's really what it comes down to. Independence = attractive. Dependence = not attractive.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Once again... Living at home does not equal dependence. Same as living on your own does not equal independence. Tell someone who never leaves their apartment that they're independent. They will probably laugh at you.
Dust Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Why is it when people speak of a guy still living at home disparagingly always the mother is brought into it? I don't know, I just know women in general look down on it. Once again... Living at home does not equal dependence. Same as living on your own does not equal independence. Tell someone who never leaves their apartment that they're independent. They will probably laugh at you. Having a mansion with a waterfall pool + jacuuzi and garage filled with a fleet of luxury cars doesn’t mean crap if you don’t leave your house, or more importantly invite women over. I just fail to see your point, living at home for the most part is a showing of dependence and women in general will find this unattractive. I’ve known 30+ year old men who met their wives while living at home with parents. I’ve also known men who were Ivey league grads with promising careers probably pulling in six figures who lived at home with mommy and daddy. Doesn’t mean its something that women find generally attractive no matter how much you wish it so. Why do you fail to understand this?
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I don't know, I just know women in general look down on it. Having a mansion with a waterfall pool + jacuuzi and garage filled with a fleet of luxury cars doesn’t mean crap if you don’t leave your house, or more importantly invite women over. I just fail to see your point, living at home for the most part is a showing of dependence and women in general will find this unattractive. I’ve known 30+ year old men who met their wives while living at home with parents. I’ve also known men who were Ivey league grads with promising careers probably pulling in six figures who lived at home with mommy and daddy. Doesn’t mean its something that women find generally attractive no matter how much you wish it so. Why do you fail to understand this? I am just making the argument that it is not living at home that is unattractive, but the circumstances that surround it. If someone is working, going to college, paying the bills, and contributing to the household, and/or taking care of a sick relative, I don't see how they can possibly be lumped in with a guy mooching off his parents while smoking pot and living in his parent's basement. That is why I see Star's argument as invalid, and every woman that makes this argument has flawed logic. Someone can live on their own AND be dependent. Hell, someone can be in a relationship and be dependent on their spouse. It doesn't make them any better, or any worse, than someone like me or the OP.
Dust Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I am just making the argument that it is not living at home that is unattractive, but the circumstances that surround it. If someone is working, going to college, paying the bills, and contributing to the household, and/or taking care of a sick relative, I don't see how they can possibly be lumped in with a guy mooching off his parents while smoking pot and living in his parent's basement. That is why I see Star's argument as invalid, and every woman that makes this argument has flawed logic. Someone can live on their own AND be dependent. Hell, someone can be in a relationship and be dependent on their spouse. It doesn't make them any better, or any worse, than someone like me or the OP. What you fail to see is that is just the way things are. You are really confusing things with your spouse analogy. Whether its right or wrong, whether you are 20 or 30, having your own place they wouldn’t mind being joining you at is something women like. Sorry if you don’t like it but that’s the way things are. With that said despite living with family for a short time in my early twenties I was still able to get women to spend the night with me in my twin bed on multiple occasions. Though I still guarantee women prefer a man with his own place and will almost always look down on a guy living with family. Just the way things are it’s illogical not to recognize it. You are just arguing for the way you wish it was.
Sanman Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) How is it that all the parents in the city can afford it, but their young, working, vibrant offspring cannot? That makes no sense. Simple. You are comparing two incomes at peak earnings against one starting salary. That doesn't even account for the skyrocketing increase in housing prices over the last 20 years while starting salaries have stagnated or a host of other factors. I find your lack of economic understanding saddening. As for, dependence vs independence...is a guy living at home more or less independent than a person living in an apt paid for by his/her parents? I know people in both of those situations. The real reason is simple, independent woman want an independent man so they don't have to take care of them. Dependent woman want an independent man to take care of them. Only women whose needs are met by parents or others are likely to chose a dependent man. Edited May 9, 2011 by Sanman
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