LexiB Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) i do think the Original Poster has come under undue flak. She just reconsidered her decision and trusted her instincts. She didn't cancel an hour before, but the day before and gave a reasonable excuse and apologised. I am sure the guy was very disappointed and that is a real shame, but I assume he wasn't flying from another country to meet her. Perhaps the OP should have been more aware of how she felt before she agreed to meet him - and there's a lesson for us all there - but as long as she offerred an apology, a reason, and gave lots of notice, I don't think she deserves to be hung out to dry ... my opinion. She could have just met him briefly but its a 50:50 call and she got bad vibes ... She's not getting flak for cancelling the date. She's getting flak for having the audacity to complain about his response in light of how rude she was to him when she cancelled the date. Big diff. Survivor12 summed it up perfectly: [--You didn't have the "heart" to tell the truth but you had the heart to lie??? Not just a lie, but one so lame that you would have had to assume he was an idiot to believe--which he wasn't--so in addition to rudely backing out on your date in an inappropriate way, you also tried to play him for a fool. Then, because his comment proves that he wasn't heartbroken (although perhaps a bit po'd), you want to claim that it was YOU that dodged a bullet? Whatever...] Edited May 8, 2011 by LexiB
Nexus One Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Getting bad vibes is understandable, even though they're not really based on solid facts it's better to be safe than sorry in that regard. However his reaction wasn't that surprising, nor did I think he went overboard by calling her names or anything to that degree. What OP was trying to convey was that his reaction confirmed her vibes, on that point I disagree. Also being flaky to the point that you set a date only to be never heard from again is not very classy.
Author conehead Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 i do think the Original Poster has come under undue flak. She just reconsidered her decision and trusted her instincts. She didn't cancel an hour before, but the day before and gave a reasonable excuse and apologised. I am sure the guy was very disappointed and that is a real shame, but I assume he wasn't flying from another country to meet her. Perhaps the OP should have been more aware of how she felt before she agreed to meet him - and there's a lesson for us all there - but as long as she offerred an apology, a reason, and gave lots of notice, I don't think she deserves to be hung out to dry ... my opinion. She could have just met him briefly but its a 50:50 call and she got bad vibes ... Thx jane for your respons n understanding. To all, after I cancelled I was hoping he'd just say ok then bye n that's it. I would never want a guy to beg n most guys don't. But as pissed as I was this morning I called n left him a voicemail saying I couldn't talk on the phone yesterday cuz I was with friends. I told him based on his response I know he doesn't care but for what its worth I just want to apolozize for cancelling over the phone. I said I do have a lot of things going on n also while I felt we connected over the phone, things didn't really felt right. Again I apologized n hoped he was able to find alternate plans good luck n bye
Author conehead Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Did leaving him that voicemail make me somehow 'less insensitive' to all your eyes?? Or am I still one of those insensitive flakey girls on eharmony...do those girls do this?
skydiveaddict Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Did leaving him that voicemail make me somehow 'less insensitive' to all your eyes?? Or am I still one of those insensitive flakey girls on eharmony...do those girls do this? Like other posters have said, you flaked on him. What do you expect? I'm willing to bet if the tables were turned, you'd be mad and hurt.
TaurusTerp Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Did leaving him that voicemail make me somehow 'less insensitive' to all your eyes?? Or am I still one of those insensitive flakey girls on eharmony...do those girls do this? You only left the voicemail to vindicate yourself to a bunch of strangers from the internet. I'm not sure that's any better than being an insensitive flake.
Eddie Edirol Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Did leaving him that voicemail make me somehow 'less insensitive' to all your eyes?? Or am I still one of those insensitive flakey girls on eharmony...do those girls do this? Put it this way, you gave damning evidence that you are the epitome of the reasons of why people are flakes on the internet. You cant be mad that he bruised your ego, you deserved it. You couldnt even annunciate what the real reason was that triggered your instinct alert. Cant even be an adult and tell the guy the truth without making yourself feel guilty. Just admit that you really didnt care about his feelings, and you only cared about cancelling the date. You were just worried about him blowing you off after you blew him off. Based on your behavior, Id be willing to bet that whatever made you suspicious about him was unfounded anyway. Then you probably threw away a perfectly good guy. he really did dodge a bullet. You really should be ashamed of yourself.
TheLoneSock Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) This guy on Eharmony contacted me and we went through the whole question and answer process and got to open communication. He was not very good via email but I found him in his pictures to be quite attractive, so decided to chat with him on the phone. He was actually much better over the phone and I though we had pretty good connection and a lot in common. He suggested we meet up and we decided to meet up 3 days later. For the next 2 days I just had a bad feeling about him. I can't quite put my finger on it, and thought maybe it's just my nerves, but at the same time I can't quite ignore my instincts. I texted him the day before the date that I can't make it. He called me just minutes later but I missed the call and he texted me if we can meet another time. I told him that I've got many things going on right now and can't really meet up and told him sorry about that. He replied 10 minutes later with 'Ok whatever. Later!'. Wow, okay I felt really bad about cancelling the meetup but after he texted that, I don't really feel all that bad at all. In fact, it just confirmed to me that my gut feeling about him was correct. After I got home a few hours later I also noticed he closed me on eharmony. Maybe my excuse of I've got too many things going on right now is lame, but I didn't have the heart to just tell him that I'm not interested enough. I mean I've been rejected before and while I feel pissed inside I usually just tell them 'okay, take care' or just something like that. Seriously I regreted a little about cancelling but after his comment I just feel like I dodged a bullet. You blew him off, so he wrote you off. He hit the next button because you were unavailable and didn't give any time frame. Why is this difficult to grasp? Was he supposed to keep setting himself up to be turned down until your tummy senses felt better? You're an adult. Come on lol. Girls both love and hate a guy with options. You're right, someone dodged a bullet. But it wasn't you Edited May 9, 2011 by TheLoneSock
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