camrond Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I still really miss my ex-girlfriend of three years. Of course, she dumped me four months ago and has been dating someone else for a couple months now too... As such, the complete loss of hope (which in some sense I am grateful for) has left me simply sad. Now that she is ***ing some other dude and I told her since she started with him that I do not want to be in contact with her...I find myself essentially grieving... I do not know the point of this post...catharsis maybe... I just miss her...as a person. She was there for years and now she is gone...long gone...and it is sad. I simply miss having her in my life. I miss seeing her face, I miss talking...I do not want her back anymore. I simply cannot take her back now. The way it ended and now that she has taken someone else I can never be with her again, and I doubt she would want to anyway... I feel somewhat like she has died...I feel as if she simply died....a person I loved and shared the deepest and most resilient (so i thought) bond with is gone...I feel like I will never see her again (this is something I will probably do on my terms, she wanted to be friends but I cannot).... I am sad that I will never see her. I feel like someone I love has died...it is very, very painful and causes me a lot of grief.... Sometimes i simply don't know what to do... :-/
wistful Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I still really miss my ex-girlfriend of three years. Of course, she dumped me four months ago and has been dating someone else for a couple months now too... As such, the complete loss of hope (which in some sense I am grateful for) has left me simply sad. Now that she is ***ing some other dude and I told her since she started with him that I do not want to be in contact with her...I find myself essentially grieving... I do not know the point of this post...catharsis maybe... I just miss her...as a person. She was there for years and now she is gone...long gone...and it is sad. I simply miss having her in my life. I miss seeing her face, I miss talking...I do not want her back anymore. I simply cannot take her back now. The way it ended and now that she has taken someone else I can never be with her again, and I doubt she would want to anyway... I feel somewhat like she has died...I feel as if she simply died....a person I loved and shared the deepest and most resilient (so i thought) bond with is gone...I feel like I will never see her again (this is something I will probably do on my terms, she wanted to be friends but I cannot).... I am sad that I will never see her. I feel like someone I love has died...it is very, very painful and causes me a lot of grief.... Sometimes i simply don't know what to do... :-/ That's how I felt when my ex left me, like someone had died. It's the end of that person as you knew them basically. And it hurts a lot. However it will get better. You're right to grieve - it's how everyone deals with the loss of someone that meant an enormous amount to them. Unfortunately with a breakup you tend to focus on the negatives of it all which makes it extra painful. Instead of focusing on what she's doing now, focus on what you can do for yourself. Relationships are about sharing so it can take some time to be "selfish". I found this part really hard, I'd been so used to putting my ex first that I didn't know what I wanted to do, how to do it and felt guilty for thinking of myself. Everyone has their own hobbies so invest big time into your's - time or money wise. I guarantee that you will feel better as time goes on and it's okay to feel sad.
Author camrond Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) Thanks for taking the time to respond. I actually have been spending lots of my time as productively as I can. It's interesting because her reason for leaving was that I always put myself first in the relationship....now for some reason I put myself last when it counts least.... I have been going about it all backwards, when it matters least (now) I seem to care so much. When it all mattered I cared so little...I was far more independent during the relationship... Funny how life twists and turns, I guess I can be happy its not boring... I like how you said "as you know them". Its true. Thats why I feel like its a death, I don't know her anymore...its sad knowing I never will. It is surprisingly similar to a death... In some ways it is better than a death, because I don't have to feel sorry for her of course, she is living happily ever after... In some ways it is worse than a death, she CHOSE to cut us out of each other's lives...her decision to inflict this upon me...this sense of betrayal wouldn't exist if she actually died... Edited May 8, 2011 by camrond
giveittofate Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Camrond, I'm right there with you man in the sense during my relationship with my ex I didn't care enough or show enough love and patience for her...I was very independent and she was the opposite....after our breakup I became a wreck and needed her WAYYYYY more badly then I ever have during our relationship (you always want what you can't have, and it was the first time I ever experienced bad luck really in my life)...it was my first love, and I'll be honest I didn't know how to do a lot of things in a relationship, but ya know what, this horribly sad experience helped me grow and learn as a a person and for that I'm grateful...sometimes we just need to hit rock bottom to really open our eyes and grow as people....My ex died to me...the person she has become is someone I don't know or really care to know, based on our last few meetings....it's weird, sad, interesting, etc how you can go from being that other persons second half almost, to not knowing them...just wasn't meant to be....when it's meant, then it'll work...good luck man...it gets easier with time and acceptance....i still have ups and downs, but the downs are less frequent.
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