Titania22 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Hi, I have a guy friend. And around wednesday, I talked to him on skype about something, and he annoyed me, so i typed "sorry I talked to you" and logged off. And logged back on a little later, but didn't say anything. We both were online thursday and some of friday, but neither spoke to the other. By friday I was ready to make the first move and say hi, but he was offline and has been ever since. I typed Hello anyway in case he came online later, so he would see it. Now I am wondering if I should text him, or just let it slide until he comes online again. I don't see why what happened should be a big deal, I certainly don't want to bring it up. Obviously I overreacted, but i didn't say anything really cruel, especially considering how annoyed I felt at the time. Going NC seemed definately preferable to escalating into an argument.
Author Titania22 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 NC is for children who enjoy games. You should learn to deal in a calm, cool, and collected manner even when you aren't. Controlling your words and body language at any time is a better approach. This does require you to develop the skill to live outside of yourself at the same time as living your life. You need the ability to see all of your actions from a truly impartial, objective third person perspective. True enough. Although my experience in having been married and also having had an LTR, is that, often staying in the heat of the moment leads a situation to escalate and cruel things to be said. Where simply taking a timeout until both sides cool off, can mean a more constructive conversation later. The nature of our conversation the other day, was I had just had a eureka moment and wanted to bouce it off someone, as I way of fixing it in my mind. When I spoke to him, he starting focussing on a tangent, and wanted to argue about that, which wasn't helpful, I logged off so i would at least have a chance to save my idea before I forgot it, and chose to write a thread in the dating forum about it instead. It worked out that my thread accomplished alot for me and lead to me finding some of the answers I was looking for. I think he is being a baby, to shut me out completely over this one incident. I have sent him a text, and a sorry message on skype, but there has been no response, and he hasn't gone online as far as i can tell. I tried to imagine how I would feel in his shoes, but I keep feeling that I would be the one apologising and trying to make amends if i were in his shoes and had missed the point of what my friend was trying to articulate. SInce he is completely non responsive I can only guess how upset he is. Maybe he isn't upset and just had to go away suddenly, or maybe he is waiting for some big apology, i have no idea. As it was that day, I only went offline for perhaps 30mins, long enough for me to write my ls thread. Normally if I do something wrong by someone I am really sorry, and not too proud to apologise properly. This time I don't feel it. I just don't feel that what i did was so bad.
Author Titania22 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 After writing the previous post, I just thought this is ridiculous. So I sent him a text, are you angry with me? This way he either responds yes (then i know i need to apologise), no or if he continues this NC I just right him off. Simple solution.
Author Titania22 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Well it worked, he said he was angry, and i said i was too, and everything is cool now.
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