dois20 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 So theres this girl at work that I really like. And today for the first time, we met up outside of work cause she wanted me to show her something. So at work, I'm really nice to her but I tease(flirt with) her really bad. I'm always nice, but i'll make fun of her, make witty remarks but she'll always laugh, she knows i'm playing. Then when we met up today, I was different somehow. I didn't tease her very much, hardly at all actually, instead I treated her more like i would treat a girlfriend. I asked her if she was good, encouraged her, was really patient, I took a lot more interest in her well-being, to sum up I was a lot softer than I am at work. Should I continue this trend at work, or go back to my tease (flirt with) her a lot routine. I feel like for the first time she's seen my softer side, who I really am and I think I should stick with it, but only with her. What you think? Also, please don't tell me to ask her out. There are two reasons why I cannot, the only way it would work is if she did, I am not allowed to ask her for legitimate reasons.
Lilmisus Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Mix it up a bit. Every now and then when it feels like you can get away with being the flirty coworker, do so. If she seems to be upset over something sometime, or you have a question for her, show the softer side and ask her what's going on. But also, outside of work, don't hold the flirting back and keep the playfulness going a bit while trying to be the cool guy that she can relate to and who cares about her.
spiderowl Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 ^^^^ Agreed! The fun guy who also has a soft, caring side is most attractive. Soft and caring is really nice but can seem a bit heavy at times. Fun is great but sometimes you need him to be caring and serious. A mixture of the two - an appropriate mixture mind - is great. Good luck!
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