pd8mxq Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Ex of 8 years left me and has been seeing someone for 4 months now. He said he does not feel the chemsitry anymore and was not happy at the end. We both agree chemistry can come back but it might take longer. After 8 years, can chemistry really come back? He still has feelings for me but probably not like a lover. Miss Jennifer, you mentioned that your exes sometimes come back even after months or more. In those meanwhile, did you do anything to try and get them back? I have been showing my needy side after 5 months still and I thinK I did so wrong. But can I remedie the situation by not pleading now? Thanks for all the advice in advance
miss jennifer Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 hi PD... i don't know if chemistry can come back because i've personally never taken one of my exes back after they left me. in the beginning when they leave, i'm very needy. i won't lie. i call them crying, text them constantly, i do everything i shouldn't do. somehow, i think it isn't so bad that i am doing this, as when i call them, they begin crying too, or something.. but their answer is always the same... if someone wants to leave you and they actually do leave you, you can't get that back overnight. for me, it comes to a point where i say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and i end up resenting them. it's only when i don't care about them anymore and am happy in my life that they are attracted back to me. by that time, they have waited too long.. and i'm no longer interested. for every relationship that has lasted over 6 months, this is always the case. the best thing for you to do is go NC, especially if your ex has found someone new. rebound relationships fail 99% of the time, so i dont think the chances of your ex making it anywhere with the new beau go very far. i know it hurts and you probably spend ages crying about it, but really, those relationships don't last. god.. i'm going through a breakup myself. i wish i could take my own advice. good luck to you.
CaliGuy Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 When someone leaves you to "date" someone else, they are saying "I think I can do better than you. I think I can find someone else that I like better..." The question is, at what point do you respect yourself enough to say "I deserve to be with someone that loves me as much as I love them?" And let's not even brush the fact that you've been together for 8 years. Was there an engagement?? Did you ever plan to wed? My point is simply that it's been 8 years and you didn't progress. It's time that you, as well, find someone better for YOU. Cheers.
miss jennifer Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 When someone leaves you to "date" someone else, they are saying "I think I can do better than you. I think I can find someone else that I like better..." The question is, at what point do you respect yourself enough to say "I deserve to be with someone that loves me as much as I love them?" And let's not even brush the fact that you've been together for 8 years. Was there an engagement?? Did you ever plan to wed? My point is simply that it's been 8 years and you didn't progress. It's time that you, as well, find someone better for YOU. Cheers. +1 never a good sign when your ex leaves you for someone else.. if she left you on her own accord THEN found a rebound to get her mind off you, that's totally different.. but when she leaves you for someone else, the best thing to do is let it die. of course, it's a question of self respect, too.. like caliguy writes. do you really want to be with someone that will leave you to see if the grass is greener, then come back to you simply because they couldn't find better? it's not a good way to go..
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