sweetblubrry Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Dated 8 months, broke up end of january 2011. We work together.... So my ex called me on my birthday and we had a 3 hour conversation. We talked about the past and our relationship again. He told me he wasn't going to date anyone because he is never putting himself in that situation again (he has parenoid delusions that people were talking about us and making negative comments about him while we were together). I talked to him about what a friend said to me..... that he was dating someone else and I wanted to know if that was true. He said no and got so mad at this friend that I think he pretty much blew up their friendship when he confronted him. He also cried and told me he still cares a lot about me. All in all, he's quite mental. So I talked to one of his other friends yesterday.... this guy I trust. He's married, has a beautiful wife, and a baby. They are the kindest people I have ever met. He told me that my ex did go on a few daes with someone and hung out with her but he didn't know what was going on with that. So that means my ex lied to me. He says he cares so much about me but he lies to me? I am still in the process of getting the back story on what happened with the blow up with his other friend. But do you think I should confront my ex about his lying? I want to make him feel guilty/suffer for the things that he's done. I am tired of this BS. I am wondering if I should be happy and act like my life is going great and that I am successful (b/c my married friend happened to post a positive life note on fb and my ex got all pissy about it thinking my friend was saying he was better than everyone else). Or if I should confront him about it, let him know I will not accept it and get his explanation (which is going to be total BS anyway).
miss jennifer Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 let it die. why would you want to hurt him? you're better than that. forgive and forget. don't look back if you don't want to.
Fufu Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 He lied to you, let him be. He wants to be a liar, it's his choice. You only need to move on and be happy again. Why bother even contacting him to ask him to explain his lies. He lied, PERIOD. There's no need for any explanations or even need to make him feel bad.
Author sweetblubrry Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 Problem is he still thinks we are on speaking terms. So now when I start ignoring him at work again and brushing him off... he's going to confront me about it. That is what happened last time.... he got mad at me for "treating" him like that. So eventually I will have to explain why........ and will probably commence into another argument because he will say that it isn't true.
kbme311 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I'm undergoing something similar so understand your confusion. My ex cries on the phone to me but I know he's actively pursuing someone else. I'm wondering if my ex has a personality disorder... Anyway, I have no idea why he is telling you one thing and doing something else. No idea. All I can do is analyse what you're saying in your post which is that you don't trust him. That is loud and clear as you constantly question what he says and ask others to back up his stories. You are still investing time and energy into a relationship that ended three or so months ago. It is difficult to deal with an ex at work but there are ways of doing it. Be polite and professional. Refuse to get into any conversations that are personal. Don't ignore him or talk about him with others as it will probably get back to him. I would also change my number. This seems a bit dramatic but if you are too weak (which I am) not to reply to calls or texts it helps knowing that you won't hear from them. If he asks why he can no longer contact you then just shrug and say you changed service providers for a better deal or something. Keep away from his friends as they are no longer a part of your life. Think about changing jobs, look at it as a fresh start and another rung up on the career ladder. Get caught up in your own life that you just don't have time to think about him. In a couple of months you will wonder why you wasted so much time thinking about such a non entity. Hope that helps:)
Fufu Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Problem is he still thinks we are on speaking terms. So now when I start ignoring him at work again and brushing him off... he's going to confront me about it. That is what happened last time.... he got mad at me for "treating" him like that. So eventually I will have to explain why........ and will probably commence into another argument because he will say that it isn't true. If he confronts you, you ignore him. You don't even have to explain to him. Why bother explain to people who LIE to you. Do yourself a great favor ignore him to the fullest.
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