jordkorn Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Realtionships are all fun and games in the beginning being with someone new laughing and smiling. Then in my case things die off and we become comfortable with our partner and think we don't need to do the little things to show the other person we really care about them. Why do we see that now after the fact and kick ourselves when it is over?
ummike26 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I think love makes you blind to certain things. My ex left me bc I was 20lbs overweight and she thought I was getting "too comfortable". Keep in mind I work and go to school full time so I had no time to work out but that's a different story.. I accepted her flaws bc I loved her and she obviously couldn't do the same with me.. I was under the impression love conquers everything but outside influences get in the way and the GIGS starts.. If I could go back I would have tried harder to lose weight but it is what is..
Sugarkane Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I suppose after some time, you can see things better in hindsight.
kbme311 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 (edited) Realtionships are all fun and games in the beginning being with someone new laughing and smiling. Then in my case things die off and we become comfortable with our partner and think we don't need to do the little things to show the other person we really care about them. Why do we see that now after the fact and kick ourselves when it is over? I read somewhere that there is no such thing as being 'dumped out of the blue'. There are always signs and indications from your partner that they are getting fed up. I'll give you an example. My recent ex never wanted to go anywhere with me. I wanted to go out so I said that if he wanted to make the relationship work, we would have to go out at least once a week. He then complained that he didn't have any money, so I found a bunch of stuff that we could do for free. I made it very clear that this was important. The day we split up he conveniently 'forgot' we were supposed to be going out. I told him to get his stuff and leave when he refused to discuss it. He was shocked that it was over when I had told him time and again that I wanted to go out. I think we get established and take the other person for granted. We ignore what we don't like or don't want to hear. This builds resentment on their part because their needs are not getting met and they are not being listened to. Eventually they will pull away from the relationship. They will stop mentioning the things that bother them because they feel defeated. As far as they are concerned, it won't change so why bother? Ironically you may start to relax even more because they've stopped 'nagging' and you think things are running smoothly. They may become attracted to someone else or even start grooming themselves again because they want to attract someone else. After a time, it won't matter how much effort you put into the relationship because they are no longer investing in you. They see no future with you. You will then get dumped. Edited May 8, 2011 by kbme311
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