Bjonesx Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Okay so me and my ex boyfriend broke up, after a 5 month relationship. We got on so well, but i wanted a relationship, and he just wanted to take things slow, so we were only seeing. Then a few months into the 'relationship' he told me he just wanted to be friends, so i was fine with that, but then we carried on as normal, like as if we were still together. Anyways he finished with me out of the blue because he told me he didn't want to hurt me anymore, because he always made me upset (mostly when he had been drinking) then he told me he didn't like me anymore and that he just didn't want to be with me, which is fair enough. So recently i had stopped talking to him as much, but there has been two occasions where i made a mistake. We have slept together twice since we broke up, and it ended up in huge arguments, both times after we had sex he got mad at me and told me he didn't want this to happen, but it was him that made the move? :S he has made it clear to me that he doesn't want me back so i'm so confused with whats going on. I still really want him back, but i don't know if i should get my hopes up or not.. i want to forget about him, but i like him alot, and it feels like hes the one i want to spend the rest of my life with. I really don't know what to do anymore :/
Fufu Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Sounds like a guy who wants a woman but doesn't want to be committed to her. You sure you want to be this woman? He had sex with you twice and doesn't want you back. You get the meaning? Ask yourself, why do you even want to be with someone who is out to have lust with you but doesn't want to be committed to you. Don't get any hopes up, seriously, he's not the kind of guy you really want to put your love, faith, trust, effort, commitment to. I hope you seek NC to help yourself to move on and away from him. As a female, we have to protect ourselves. If you value yourself, protect yourself.
TheLoneSock Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 He likes sex but doesn't like committing to one person. Shocker much? When a guy is sexually attracted to you it is difficult to not make moves on you when you are alone with him, even if deep down he doesn't want to complicate things by making a move, he probably still will. His lashing out at you afterwards says a great deal about his maturity level. He is shifting blame away from himself because he is selfish and wants to be guilt free (but still wants sex, remember?). Please shut this guy down completely, until he comes to you in a genuine way that says he wants to get back together with you, which DOESN'T include anything physical. No make up sex, that sh*t is retarded. Sometimes guys can be such girls. For real.
TaraMaiden Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I really don't know what to do anymore. Yes, you do.
Author Bjonesx Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 Thanks guys for your replys, it is definatly so true what you's say about him. He likes sex, and he knew before that to get that he had to be with me and make me feel loved. Then he got fed up of haveing me around, and now all he wants is sex, and i'm so stupid for giveing him it. He's really immature and although i still want him, i know he's not the right guy for me, untill the day he comes and shows he's mature enough for me then i will decide
Fufu Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Thanks guys for your replys, it is definatly so true what you's say about him. He likes sex, and he knew before that to get that he had to be with me and make me feel loved. Then he got fed up of haveing me around, and now all he wants is sex, and i'm so stupid for giveing him it. He's really immature and although i still want him, i know he's not the right guy for me, untill the day he comes and shows he's mature enough for me then i will decide Don't wait around for him. I can tell you, when you start to move on for your own sake, you will meet better guys that will treat you well and sincere.
betterdeal Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Yeah, but as long as you enjoyed the sex and the affection, then you had a good time, right? Thing is, if you think of yourself as used then you'll feel bad, but if you think of yourself as having had some good times and some bad times, and as a fully active participant in your own happiness, you'll feel good about yourself. This is a position of strength. You can decide to have sex with him as that's what's on offer, or you can decide to call it quits and move on. Or you can even have sex with him and other people too. It's your life. Don't do things that make you unhappy; do things that do make you happy. Do be sad that it's over; be happy it happened.
Author Bjonesx Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 I would just like to say i have managed to move on, obviously, i do still love him, but i have finally managed to just deal with the fact i don't have him anymore. We aren't friends anymore because it is too hard for me, because each time i talk to him i just get upset. I don't even feel the need to text him or anything, so i'm so happy now that he is out my life. I think my wake up call was when i got told by his ex that he had been asking her back for a while, even when he slept with me. He's a very selfish person and only thinks about himself.
Author Bjonesx Posted May 25, 2011 Author Posted May 25, 2011 Yeah, but as long as you enjoyed the sex and the affection, then you had a good time, right? Thing is, if you think of yourself as used then you'll feel bad, but if you think of yourself as having had some good times and some bad times, and as a fully active participant in your own happiness, you'll feel good about yourself. This is a position of strength. You can decide to have sex with him as that's what's on offer, or you can decide to call it quits and move on. Or you can even have sex with him and other people too. It's your life. Don't do things that make you unhappy; do things that do make you happy. Do be sad that it's over; be happy it happened. This is true, at the time i enjoyed it.. but the feeling of someone you love haveing sex with you then starting to shout at you is pretty bad, so i don't think it was worth it. He also told me to sleep is his spare room once he was finished. If he didn't get angry i probably wouldn't have regretted it as much.. it would have been a fun night. But i will never do it again. He doesn't deserve anything from me. I will never regret him being in my life though, he made me very happy at the time
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