theizz Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 She started this new thing the other day where she will basically give me a hand job or blow job and then just stop before I cum. She did this several times in the same night, and then told me I'm not allowed to masturbate or cum until she lets me, and then she left. I was so horny that I could barely sleep, and the next day I could barely get any work done. I know, obviously I don't have to listen to her, but the idea of it turns me on, and I want to make it work. Has anyone done this before? Any advise on how to make it through the day?
somedude81 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Ugh, I dated a girl that did this. It was the most annoying thing in the world. Now that I look back, she never made me orgasm and we broke up before we could have sex. So lame.
fishtaco Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 One chick I was with did this out of the blue. We had sex normally before. So I don't know what happened to her that one time. Thinking back, I believe she was just flexing her control muscle. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I was young and inexperienced. Soon after that, she behaved poorly again (in a different way). I realized how selfish she is, so I bailed. Probably one of the worst dating experience I've ever had, but because of that, it was also the most valuable. It taught me many excellent lessons. But theizz, if this is your fetish too, then congratulations, you found someone with matching fetish. Should be fun for you. If not, well, then I can tell you your arrangement with your girl would not work for me.
TheLoneSock Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 This sounds like a power thing. Either take control of her and get it done or dump her all together, because you shouldn't be putting up with this.
Author theizz Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I guess I like the thought of being controlled and teased like that, but in reality its so hard to deal with. I'm sure if I tried it again and really couldn't deal with it, I could just tell her and we wouldn't do it anymore. But I'd like to find a way to make it work because it is also really fun for both of us.
Author theizz Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 This sounds like a power thing. Either take control of her and get it done or dump her all together, because you shouldn't be putting up with this. Oh yes, believe me I have taken control of her and done whatever I wanted with her several times before and after this. I was just trying to let her have this one and try to get into it myself too. It's just not the easiest thing in the world to do.
betterdeal Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Just cum in her face one time you're playing this way. It'll be a surprise!
Author theizz Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Why aren't you telling her this? I did tell her that its really stressful and hard to do, but she said wants to do it to me again anyway.
Author theizz Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 That's the point of it. It is masochism, taking pleasure from pain brought upon yourself. I'm not a masochist though. I don't like pain, its more the control and degradation aspect that turns me on.
elastica Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 If my boyfriend asked me to do the same - there is no way I would do it. To be honest, I don't think it is totally healthy (?). But then again, I wouldn't know, because have never forced myself not to orgasm. Personally, I would be worried that my SO actually thinks he needs to do this to make it exciting for us. But this is just me and of course everyone is different.
Author theizz Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Then that's an apparent communications break down. I'm not sure how you should proceed when you aren't completely against the undesirable behavior. Maybe you should tell her you like it but you need to go slower as you explore this side of your sexuality. Perhaps start with smaller gaps between initial stimulation and release while gradually lengthening the time between the two. Well I think if I was more assertive about not doing it she wouldn't be trying to pressure me into it. I did tell her that despite it being extremely stressful, it turns me on and that I'd be willing to try it again.
betterdeal Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 That would go against him being the sub and her the dom in these particular situations unless he does it to get punished by her. There are no rules.
elastica Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Well if it does turn you on, then just try to relax and enjoy the "torture" during the day.
fishtaco Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I'm no expert in this. But isn't usually one is the dom and one is the sub? Do they switch? Anyway, if you guys actually talked about this, then I don't see any problems. You're experimenting. Just keep communications open I think everything will be fine. If you like it, do it more. If not, well do something else.
Author theizz Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Pain in this sense can be any discomfort like your overwhelming desire the next day to climax but not being allowed to. Masochism also covers an enjoyment in being humiliated, dominated, or abused. Oh, I didn't realize those all fell under masochism.
fishtaco Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Oh, I didn't realize those all fell under masochism. Yup. Not for me, but at the same time, nothing wrong with that. You like what you like.
Author theizz Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 I'm no expert in this. But isn't usually one is the dom and one is the sub? Do they switch? Anyway, if you guys actually talked about this, then I don't see any problems. You're experimenting. Just keep communications open I think everything will be fine. If you like it, do it more. If not, well do something else. I've never been in a dom/sub relationship before, but the way this seems to be going so far its like we just switch depending on our mood. She seems to enjoy being treated like a cheap whore, so who am I to deny her that pleasure?
betterdeal Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 You are going against the intentions of this type of pleasure seeking on purpose which could work against the enjoyment of the participants. There are rules and roles in the master/slave relationship. This doesn't mean they can't be flipped at any time if it will increase the pleasure of those involved. It's you that's decided this is a master / slave relationship, not them or some immutable law of the Universe. Besides that, you then go on to say, the rules you have ascribed to someone else's relationship can be changed. Of course then can! They are your rules, not their rules. They like being naughty. That's their business. It's not my personal preference, but then I'm not having sex with them so that's okay.
Jynxx Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Lol sounds awesome. Let her have control you all week, build up the sexual energy, take over control in the weekend and release it, as many times as you want. (she'll be like )
Irishlove Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I'd finish without her. haha I'm the opposite. I like to make him get off. I can see her teasing once but come on.......
Professor X Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 While it has an element of control in it, the primary idea is not about controlling someone. I've had it done to me, and I've done it to others; I think, if I remember right, it's from the kama sutra book, where the whole idea is to postponed the O each time (to stop right before the O) so that when you eventually have it, it'll feel 1000 times better (you build up the energy to much higher levels than you would normally) - and it works, I can tell you from personal experience. So I suggest not ruining it for yourself by self masturbating.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Yikes, this is not the kind of relationship that would work for me!
Sanman Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Google "orgasm denial." Wow, it took 3 pages for someone to mention that? Welcome to the BDSM world (albeit in very playful and light manner).
Recommended Posts