ilovedhim Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 What do you think... is it important to have one special person in your life or many special people, i.e. dating, in case one relationship doesn't work out or someone dies? But when you try to make everyone special no one is really special, correct? Asking because I'm having difficulty seeing myself in another monogamous relationship. Thinking my only solution is perhaps having one significant other and dating a whole bunch of others.
Irishlove Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 What about being by yourself for a while? I personally could only work at one relationship at a time. I'm not one to juggle people and remember crap.
Enchanted Girl Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 How would you feel if a guy who was your boyfriend was dating a bunch of other people casually? Because if you do this, you've got to be fair.
Author ilovedhim Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 as long as there's honesty i'm ok with it. this guy i just broke up with was hiding that he saw one or maybe 1000 other girls. even though i was truthful that i was seeing an ex. Also i would ask him if he's seeing anyone and he would say no. he was a deceptive liar otherwise i don't think i wouldve had a problem with it. i just don't see how you can be with one person forever. that's a really long time.
Enchanted Girl Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 as long as there's honesty i'm ok with it. this guy i just broke up with was hiding that he saw one or maybe 1000 other girls. even though i was truthful that i was seeing an ex. Also i would ask him if he's seeing anyone and he would say no. he was a deceptive liar otherwise i don't think i wouldve had a problem with it. i just don't see how you can be with one person forever. that's a really long time. Some people are into polyamory and being with more than one person and in all the relationships that work and were healthy and polyamorous, the two people had to be honest with one another. It's important in any relationship.
Jazzari Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I think if you are dating others, than that "one person" isn't so special after all. If they were, you wouldn't be interested in others.
Knittress Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 What do you think... is it important to have one special person in your life or many special people, i.e. dating, in case one relationship doesn't work out or someone dies? I think you're asking the internet something that you should be asking yourself. It's as if you're trying to decide whether you like chocolate or vanilla icecream more by taking a poll on the subject. Not so useful. I personally place a high value on creating lifelong relationships, but you're right, shiz happens in romantic relationships. That's why friendship is so freaking precious - it provides for a sense of emotional continuity when all else goes to hell. I'd like to get married and stay married, but I'm also considering how it might be fun to be a middle-aged swinger one day...
Sunstar Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I think if you are dating others, than that "one person" isn't so special after all. If they were, you wouldn't be interested in others. Seconded. _
NoMagicBullet Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 What do you think... is it important to have one special person in your life or many special people, i.e. dating, in case one relationship doesn't work out or someone dies? But when you try to make everyone special no one is really special, correct? Asking because I'm having difficulty seeing myself in another monogamous relationship. Thinking my only solution is perhaps having one significant other and dating a whole bunch of others. Are you afraid of being alone? Having other people around "just in case" leads me to believe that. Some sort of fear of being abandoned or left by someone you love? I like Irishlove's idea of being alone for a while; it would be a good way to understand yourself better and what you really want. Whether it's monogamy, polyamory, or platonic, you should have people around you because they enrich your life and you enrich theirs, not as a backup plan. Otherwise, I agree with Knitress -- only you can decide if you like chocolate or vanilla.
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