prz1988 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I was in a relationship with this girl for approx 8 months, and loved her dearly and always was devoted to our relationship and really gave her my everything. She had a very hard life, her father was abusive towards her, she was raped twice, and had very abusive relationships prior to ours, she got involved in drugs when she was younger and really mixed with the wrong crowd, oh and btw she is 20 and I am 21. Regardless of all this I never judged her, I always wanted to protect her and cherish her, if I ever saw her cry or hurt it was like a dagger in my heart... I always wrote her poems, always told her I loved her more than anything, always made her feel protected and she said she has never met a man like me in her life and that I was perfect, tall, handsome etc... We used to see each other nearly everyday or at least talk to each other everyday, however recently she had been very busy with work, and was becoming more distant, at one time we didnt have contact for one week, so I contacted her and asked her whats going on, where she had been, she told me she had been really busy at work etc and she hadnt been able to contact me, but she really still missed me etc and wanted to meet up. However we were unable to meet up because I had a family problem on my side and I did tell her this, and everything seemed fine, however I tried to contact her afterwards and for 2 weeks I could not get hold of her eventually I did get hold of her and she seemed so distant. She was like "oh hey how are you?" etc... I told her I had been worried about her and I missed her, and I felt very suspicious by the way she was talking, all she said to me is "she needs space and is not ready for a relationship at the moment, and she still loves me".... I was totally heartbroken... I texted her numerous times afterwards and never got a reply whatsoever, because I wanted to see her face to face, she eventually replied when I said "I am coming to your place". She said "Okay, can you bring my stuff plz". When we met, she gave me a hug, and said "Lets go somewhere to talk" she was the one that initiated physhical contact by holding my hand as we were walking... We sat down and I asked her why she hadnt contacted me and if she still loved me etc, and if she had met somebody else. She told me that she has been so busy with work, and has had many family problems, yet she had time to spend with her friend and call her but not me? She then said "I loved you, Oh I love you".... I was like thinking wtf... Also she was asking me to kiss her and stuff??? WHAT THE HELL? I feel that her friend (she is a real skank that has never liked me because I took her friend away from her drinking binges etc) took her away from me, during that time I could not get hold of her, I feel that her friend manipulated her into getting rid of me, but why tell me you love me and kiss me etc?!?! I wanted complete closure and the truth, and she never gave me that. All I got was "I love you, but maybe we could be together in the future, but I have so many problems at the moment". Before this was never a problem, why cut me off now? I texted her the next day asking how she was and if she wanted to meet up sometime in the week, no pressure etc... I got the reply "please leave me alone, I need space, sorry!" I was totally heartbroken... My mind is running around in circles, thinking has she cheated on me? I felt she looked so guilty when I was with her, she could not give me eye contact, and she kept saying how this isnt my fault and that I should not blame myself, yet why did she still tell me she loved me, and why would she kiss me so much??? I am really going out of my mind, I deleted all contact from her, I know she has done something so bad, but why would she do this and tell me she loved me etc, why couldnt she just tell me how it was, instead of giving me hope? PLEASE HELP ME
Eddie Edirol Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 She gives you hope to keep you hanging on just in case she changes her mind. She kisses you because she feels a little bad looking into your face about breaking it off without telling you the real reason. Thats why she didnt initiate meeting you. You can keep pestering her about the real reason she broke it off, but you might never get it, and she'll just ignore you because she cant handle the guilt of telling you the real reason. The real reason is probably she lost her attraction to you because of things you did that turned her off along the way. You might have been too nice about her past, too accepting. because of her past she might have needed a lil resistance. You might have showed or told her you needed her, she wants someone who doesnt need her so she has a challenge. You gave her too much without waiting for her to give to you. Its a natural thing with young girls. Eventually you might remember things you did that turned her off. BTW she most likely lost her attraction to you a while ago, and in the months to come, you will see her with someone. So her line about breaking it off because she has problems, bullshyt. On the other hand she could be horribly confused and conflicted in her head, thought you would be the one to make her forget about her past, and it didnt work. Dont worry, years to come, she will make you remember to never date such a troubled soul again. This will be the standard for you in the future.
Author prz1988 Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 thanks for that Eddie, I guess I must just move foward... hard at the moment but I got to be brave and start living again.
Eddie Edirol Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 thanks for that Eddie, I guess I must just move foward... hard at the moment but I got to be brave and start living again. people have been crowing about this thread, so check this out, it should help. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t276870/
SpiralOut Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Maybe she means that she loves you as a person but is not "in-love" with you. Or maybe she sees something in you that makes her believe that a relationship with you would never work. The two of you just weren't a good match.
Sugarkane Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Maybe she thinks that you're too good for her, as you don't have a messed up past like she does?
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