thomas1986 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Ok,i have been following LS for like over a month. I came across this site and found it immensely helpful in dealing with a lot of stuff which i am going through. I was in a relationship with this girl who is 2 years younger than me. We met in college when i was a senior and she was my junior. We didnt notice each other much but we became friends and eventually became lovers. We grew so close and spent a lot of time together and began making plans on staying together and getting married,having kids etc. I graduated and started working in a bank in another city but still we kept our relationship strong by visiting each other cpl of times a month and texting and calling each other every day. Unfortunately i was bored with my job and decided to quit. I came back to my hometown and started a professional course in accounting. The course is pretty tough and require hard work and dedication. She supported my decisions and stood by me and i couldnt believe how lucky i was in getting a girl like her. But as i was not employed and still living with my parents i couldnt visit her often due to the studies and classes i had. But still i talked to her every day and things were ok though she was unhappy that i couldnt visit her like i used to before. Typically it was a long distance relationship. Last January she went on an exchange program to the US for a period of 5 months. I was sad about her leaving but she seemed excited about the trip. We started skyping but things were not smooth as before because of the time difference and i had to wake up early to talk to her coz it will be almost midnight in washington at that time. Still we managed to navigate this through these troubled waters and i was longing for her to come back as i was missing her like anything. She was doing an internship in a small company in DC as a part of the program. One day she just mentions to me that her boss is kinda cute and she thinks he is having feelings for her. I was kinda pissed coz i was already in a bad stage due to her being away. But then she assured me nothing will happen and she will come back to me and told me not to worry.However as days progressed she began talking a lot about this guy and even told me that she is also having some feelings for him but she is trying her best to stay away from him. But i could see something happening as they went out for dinner together and also to some movie but she kept me updated about it. On Mar 30th she called me up and said,she lost the love she had for me and wanted to break up. I was devastated but thought this was some temporary stage and told her to hang on till she came back to my country. But she seemed certain about it and told it was over. I did all the mistakes i could do,like begging,pleading and crying asking her to rethink the decision. But she was adamant and i cut contact with her. I blocked her on FB,changed my mobile number and asked my friends not to give it to her if she asks for it. I was gradually getting over but she called me on the home phone and told she was pissed at me for being immature about this whole no contact thing!! I told her i wanted to move on and didnt want to get stuck. She put the phone down but called after 10 mins and started getting emotional. She told me that within 2 weeks after we broke up she made out with 2 guys and now she feels bad about it. I was like stunned as i had a slight hope of her coming back to me when she returned. I didnt know what to say but kinda consoled her and told her i will email her later. We kept in touch through emails for a couple of days with she telling me that she is confused and dont want to be in a relationship for a year and wanted to experiment with guys and stuff. She told me she wont have a permanent man but a lot of temporary men in her life. I didnt know what to say but stopped mailing her. Yesterday i was so depressed i mailed her saying that i am cutting off all contact and lost my respect i had for her and some harsh words but no abuse. Today she mailed me back saying that she is hurt by my words and told me that the incident about the 2 guys was a lie and she wanted to know whether i loved her not. Huh?I dont know whats happening!! Should i mail her back saying i am sorry about that or should i continue on NC. I am going through hell because of this. Every day i wake up with a **** feeling with a faint hope of her coming back to me. But one part says to leave her and continue my life. I am confused and keep thinking of the good times we had together PS: We both are from India so the culture and social setup is different from the West so people may find this a little strange.
Moutonrose Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 yes keep going NC!!! I must tell you, dont email her telling her you are going NC...just block her totaly! you need to get on with your life and find someone who is willing to love you for who you are and have same ideals for life. if you can get off facebook for a while....things somehow, even if you block all people related to her, find a way to haunt you on your page...so get off it a while...take some time back to heal from all this... she says she lied about the making out? I don't buy it. My ex said crap like that too me and it just got me to the point of having panic attacks...my advice to you if to beleive that she did really have flings with those 2 guys...that anger will help you get threw your healing stage. you will be alright! we are all here for you!
giuliano-3 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Mind games know no boundaries. Unfortunately you have no way of knowing whether or not she actually hooked up with those guys or was testing you. Either way its not cool. And you probably never will. Trust is a delicate thing. I don't know what to tell you about contacting her again. Usually I would say "trust your gut." But the gut is notoriously wrong in matters of the heart. Take some time with NC, see what happens - I wish that's what I had done instead of grovelling and begging my ex for answers. The answers will come in time, either from her or from within yourself.
Author thomas1986 Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 Yes,i think its better to go NC for some time. I dont want to hear from her again so i blocked my e mail account too. The worst part is the memories. I came back to the city where we met the first time for attending classes. I will be here for another 3 months. Wherever i go i kinda see her and then i feel sick in the stomach. But hope it get better soon!
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