TragicAlliance Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 It was a weird passing of events I've just been through, and now I'm laying here contemplating what to think/feel and how to proceed. Checked my phone a little late in the afternoon and had been left a voicemail. The voicemail turned out to be from the nearby florist who said I needed to come pick up my delivery. A few minutes later, I find an email from my ex. I read the email and decided to break our 2-day NC that I had initiated. He informed me that the florist's delivery was, in fact, from him. Took me a little while, but I finally worked up the courage to go get it. It was a nice vase of roses with a note attached. I reread the note several times, unsure how to feel. Anyway, I thanked him for the flowers and things went on from there... We wound up on Skype for the first time since January, and things were nice. We were both laughing, both picking on each other and just having a good time. Sometime during this period he asked me to refriend him on Facebook. Anyway, after a little while we both fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke back up... my sleeping habits are still messy. I knew I shouldn't, but I looked anyway. I realized that soon he'd be waking up and shoving off for the outing he was talking about on his page. I felt like I'd taken a major step back. Well, he's gone off for his outing, and I'm laying here with random body aches, trying to decide what to do now. Don't get me wrong... I really enjoyed talking to him and spending the time on Skype with him... I just... I can't get over the jealousy I feel when he leaves me to go do other things. When he told me he had to get up and go, I clammed up and said as little as possible so that he wouldn't know I was upset. But he knew. I could tell in his voice. I don't want to add him back to Facebook because I know that by doing so, I'm going to start seeing all those messages, pictures, and stuff all over again... and, in fact, the damn pictures were what caused me to remove him and go NC in the first place. But he's "annoyed" by the fact he can't see what I'm saying on mine... even though my life is dull compared to his. He has all those pictures of him off doing his thing... I never post a single picture and most of my "updates" are just me babbling randomly about something stupid I thought of. Or a TV show I watched. I guess I'll just always be too jealous and too "needy" to be a good partner to him. It goes from hot to cold so fast...
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