Lilmisus Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Okay, so I went out tonight with a girl friend of mine to celebrate the end of the semester. We decided to go play pool at a local bar for a few hours, and though she was interested in scoping and talking to some hot guys, I was not. I just wanted a carefree night to not worry about my love life at all. While playing pool though, a guy, who was with his friend and who was playing pool right next to us (moved tables to be next to us), asked me "Want to play teams?" and I just smiled, shook my head and told him "no thanks." He smiled back at me, and said okay, and continued playing his game, and we both carried on like nothing happened. I personally thought I that said "no" in a nice fashion, and didn't really think anything of it. My friend though, looked like she was going to die from laughing and said "Damn, that was blunt!!" She said though that it was better that he asked me instead of her since she would have been more of a b**** about it. But I told her that I didn't want to talk about it, since they were right there and didn't want to be rude. I told her though that I gave them props for asking (it took them an hour to say anything to us; they kept watching our game and smiling at us before that), but didn't want to make fun of them for it, since they seemed like cool guys, just not our type at all. But, question: what's the best way to turn a guy down? Especially if "no thanks" is considered "too blunt" by some?
david king Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Well I am a guy but to be blunt myself your friend sounds like rather rude person. It sounds like those guys were very polite to you so there was no need to be a b about anything. Since she is your friend you might want to work on some basic communication, character skills with her. (Oh, and for the the record, if I guy was to behave that way towards a woman I would find it equally alarming. ) Never any excuse to show lack of character.
Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I probably would have just said something a little more than, "No, thanks." Maybe, "No, thanks, we're actually just trying to have some girl bonding time, but thanks for the offer!" That's usually how I fend off guys trying to infiltrate a girly happy hour, anyway.
Author Lilmisus Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Well I am a guy but to be blunt myself your friend sounds like rather rude person. It sounds like those guys were very polite to you so there was no need to be a b about anything. Since she is your friend you might want to work on some basic communication, character skills with her. (Oh, and for the the record, if I guy was to behave that way towards a woman I would find it equally alarming. ) Never any excuse to show lack of character. I actually agree with you and was thinking the same thing myself. At one point, they accidentally bounced the cue ball off the table and it went next to her and I told her "cue ball...get it!" and she just looked at it, looked at them, and walked away. I started walking towards it to get it for them, but the dude got there first, and said thanks to me for trying to get it. After that happened, I kind of felt really annoyed with my friend. Just because you don't find someone attractive, doesn't mean that they are automatically scum and deserve to be treated without respect. Like I told her, if she thought they were hot, then she would have been incredibly nice and would have been ecstatic over their attention, instead of annoyed and talking crap, right in front of them. She agreed with me, and said "Yeah...true."
betterdeal Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Your answer was fine. Your friend appears to be very nervous around men, whereas you have the ability to see human beings as human beings.
somedude81 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 "Damn, that was blunt!!" She said though that it was better that he asked me instead of her since she would have been more of a b**** about it. Odd, so she said you were blunt, while she was going to be much worse?
alethean Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Your answer was fine. Your friend appears to be very nervous around men, whereas you have the ability to see human beings as human beings. +1 I thought your "no, thanks" was fine, though if I were to give a longer reply, it would be something along the lines of what Star Gazer said.
Author Lilmisus Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 I probably would have just said something a little more than, "No, thanks." Maybe, "No, thanks, we're actually just trying to have some girl bonding time, but thanks for the offer!" That's usually how I fend off guys trying to infiltrate a girly happy hour, anyway. This reminds me of a couple of years ago, I was with my friend and her mother (who looks like her sister) on New Years at an IHOP. A group of guys came up to us and tried to join us, but we basically told them what you said, and they said okay, and sat down a few booths down from us. A few minutes later, another group of guys came up to us, and started hitting on us (though much hotter). We tried telling them the same thing, but they wouldn't listen, and stayed around for like five - ten minutes, and sat down to join us. Took a picture with them even. The other group of guys gave us the death glare, and it was extremely awkward, especially when they walked by us. After that, I try to use that excuse as little as possible.
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