writergal Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 So I was searching online for links to articles about chronic lateness and came across 7 kinds of chronic lateness. I used to be a cross between a rationalizer and absent minded professor with my chronic lateness, until it started affecting my friendships. Now I have swung to the other side of the lateness pendulum and have (almost) zero tolerance for chronic lateness with people. For example, that hoarder friend I posted about, is always chronically late between 30 to 45 minutes. She was definitely a combination of rationalizer and evader. I can handle 15 to 20 minutes late but after that, it's "sayonara baby." My time is just as important as the other person's and it's my belief that when a friend is chronically late with you (and no one else) it's because you're on their B or C list of priorities and they don't respect you. I also read that there's a right and wrong way to react to chronically late friends. Of course, I tried the right way: ignore it, plan around it, don't let it bother you, with little success because of my reformed time schedule (now I'm on time or a few minutes late and it's not chronic). The wrong way is the way I felt the most comfortable with: tell the chronically late person that it feels disrespectful, really bothers me, and that the friendship will end if it happens again. You can imagine I've lost a few friends because of that ultimatum. But frankly, I don't want to be friends with someone (my former friend the hoarder for example) who is chronically 30 to 45 minutes late to every social event. The 7 types of chronically late personalities (and people can be more than one) are: The rationalizer has a hard time acknowledging responsibility for lateness and tends to blame outside circumstances. The producer wants to squeeze as much into every minute as possible; they are always busy. The deadliner subconsciously enjoys the last-minute sprint to the finish line; they feel more alive when running out of time. The indulger exercises less self-control; tends to procrastinate. The rebel resists authority and everyday rules; might run late as a form of control. The absent-minded professor is easily distracted, forgetful and caught up in their own introspection. The evader feels anxiety about his or her environment and tries to control it; their own needs or routine come before being on time.
Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I don't really care why type of chronically-late person they are. If they're chronically late, they're not someone I choose to spend time with. 1
Author writergal Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Hi StarGazer, Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only person to feel this way.
DreamerGirl27 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Ya know what's even more annoying. The person who's always not extremely late, but late enough to make you wait and make you late walking in with them as well. My friend is notoriously showing up RIGHT after something starts and I have to walk in with her after the thing has already started. I have no idea why she does this, but it's really starting to get on my nerves. She has also been 30 min late before as well. She is just notoriously late.
Badenov Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Those who are late, & those who are inconvenienced by them. 1
dreamingoftigers Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I am a producer, deadlines, indulged and mostly an absent-minded professor. Mostly the latter with a huge chunk of producer. I feel like the White Rabbit in Alice and Wonderland very very often. I know most of my friends have started lying to me about when things start. It helps. I have been like this my whole life. I don't know why. I remember I was on time to pick up a friend last week and we both cheered, she was in shock! I don't like making people feel bad or unimportant. I just have a major flaw somewhere along the lines in the life skills department. Kind of like a car that sounds like it will turn over but it needs more amPs to get started. I even missed church this morning. I love my friends etc. And even care about my clients but my timing is terrible!
Feelin Frisky Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 What about the fashionably late? I've experienced many people who deliberate their entrances and have a whole pecking order drama in their heads as to who gains and loses points over their "arrival" (which assumes they are late because most everyone else will already be there to witness their grand entrance). I have never played that game myself as I am not big on being the center of attention. I try to be early for everything just so I don't have to face the stresses of travel under pressure.
cerridwen Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 writergal! This is interesting information since I'm someone who's been trying to correct my lateness. These two most resonate with me: The rebel resists authority and everyday rules; might run late as a form of control. [i do this with work. It's inane and I need to change it yesterday.] The absent-minded professor is easily distracted, forgetful and caught up in their own introspection. OP, how did you correct your Absent-Minded Professor lateness?
SpiralOut Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I am a combination of evader and indulger. For some reason I have trouble getting off my butt to do something and I have alway been a procrastinater. I have been trying harder to be on time for things. I am usually only 5-10 minutes late, which is an improvement from before. I have had one friend get so annoyed about my lateness that they purposefully show up 30 minutes late and give me major attitude with no apology at all. I think the point was to teach me a lesson, but all it did was make me not want to hang out with that person anymore due to their immaturity. I don't mind too much if someone is late meeting up with me (since I am late too!!), but they should have some sort of apology for it. I also won't wait any longer than 30 minutes. After that, I am gone.
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