hydin Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 WW filed in March, LYBNILWY. No OM and have "checked". very strange. Say's no hope for us. Refused to discuss relationship (last try was when D was filed). 180 since except we are in same house.. so very limited polite contact. Annv. is coming up. Thinking I ignore it but could use advice. I do want her back but have accepted I have no control so I am detached and avoiding contact. If it happens it happens. I feel better about myself now than in years. She does not want kids or house... strange.
whichwayisup Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Ignore it. On that day, do something for yourself. Seriously! Go buy yourself something cool. Sadly, your wife has decided that she wants out. She is detached and probably did her grieving and letting go a long time ago which is why she's able to just say I want a divorce, and follow through on it. Are you 100 percent sure there is no OM? Fact that she doesn't want the house or kids, makes me wonder .. If there is no OM, what if there's another woman? Never say never..
Author hydin Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 I am in the process of checking it out. She is always home or at parttime job at a school. If she has OM he is not demanding at all. No new styles, no new underwear (still old, does not match etc). I am drifting toward believing A is possible but I can't figure out when... not even on Comp. at home. No facebook. Just seems to want out. Can't afford house even if she gets alimony. Not talking to kids, treats me like we are married when we do see each other. Strange. I am detaching and felling better. I have no control over the situation.
Author hydin Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 since we are still in the house together and she is fixing dinner and other stuff for me and I don't drink at all or anything else... I am starting to wake up to #3 but I have done checking for almost a week and no activity.... He must not expect much... Her words and actions also may be borderline personality disorder turned inward.... So many excuses.... still won't even tell me what it was that led to her decision. I asked her to so I could work on the issues in counseling so I did not end up in another relationship and 10 years down the road was looking at divorce. She says telling me the reasons would make things worse between us if she "hurt me like that". I reminded her that she said she did not want to be married to me and I doubt anything else could hurt that bad. Even with her doing that we are very civil. You would think she was happily married to me if you saw us in public. I am dropping the rope and have been for a few days. I can see it is bothering her...180 happening... But I am really getting to the point of forgetting about saving the marriage. She is in control... she has to do that for their to be any chance.
Citizen-d Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Sorry buddy I feel the pain, there is another person involved here, women are crafty and it happened to me!! My wife denied an affair for 6 months and made me feel awful and even phoned the police to say I was harrasing her!! We are a middle class family who live in a nice house and my wife was a loving nice person, but she met someone at work and I found out through emails to which she still denied! So if she is emotionly cut off then this has happened!! If you can't make sence of it this has happened!! I would suggest you do a deed of separation and take finacial control before it gets ugly ! Good luck mate
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